July 2014 BOM- Sunday by Kaia Bennet

[Red]

Kaia wrote: "Hi everyone,

I'm sorry to return with a long response, but I needed to clear up something, and I felt that maybe I would be irresponsible if I didn't do so, despite my desire to let this return to..."

Kaia, I appreciate that you took the time to reply to my inquiry/review. Now, I am not convinced at all by your explanation and I'll explain why, but I commend you for being considerate enough to have done it.

I hadn't read the free excerpt before reading the book, only the summary here, so this 1st scene was a very (bad) surprise for me. And surely, adding a warning is the right thing to do, IMHO, to prevent triggering anybody. But that is not why I got upset/shocked. I stopped reading for a while and then I decided to take it back and read the story to the end. And yes, I thought it was a decent/good read, the writing was good, the characters interesting (flaws, assholish jerkish behaviour, backstories and all), the other sex scene were hot, hot, hot (didn't mind one minute the roughness, not even the dominating dynamics between the two, which I am not usually a fan of, 'cause it was CONSENSUAL), but no matter what I couldn't just get pass that 1st scene which is supposed to be the start of their get together/relationship. It pretty much ruined the book for me. Here is why.

The thing is, to me, there is no such thing as "dubious consent", whether in the way this scene was described or in general. Actually, one of the main point of all the anti rape culture campaigns' focus lately has been around this very issue :"if she is drunk, if she is pressured, if she says "no", if she can't say yes, it's rape"; sex is either consensual or it's not. When it's not, it's rape. I'll go as far as to say that the whole point of most of the anti rape movement, from the very beginning, has been about arguing around the widespread belief that "she said no, but her body/eyes/subconscious said yes", which is also a regular defense strategy from rapists. This is also at the roots of what has been labelled as "rape culture". Rape culture is not only about the power system in place, the dominant sexist system that will consciously target women and punish them with rape as a weapon. It comes from this system, but it is spread inside the culture in many different ways. You may not condone rape, and even be socially conscious about it, but then make a stupid rape joke, because you don't think it is harmful without realizing that THIS is actually what "rape culture" is : rape being downplayed to the level of a joking matter (see the most recent celeb example with Jennifer Lawrence).

The whole "dubious consent" label in fiction (especially romance but also science fiction) is problematic because it is part of that rape culture tendency to downplay rape, downplay consent with "blurred lines" explanations. Most of the time, there are chemical/physical reactions included, the woman is either physically restrained one way or another, or under the influence of alcohol, drug, poison, or her own pheromones, or both. Her body reacts to the stimulant/pressure (physical or chemical) even while she either states her opposition, or is in no position to consent. The thing is : bodies can't consent, bodies don't talk, bodies don't have autonomous will, autonomous rational reaction (even while they are ill or incapacitated, they will automatically or irrationally react to a problem, with coping mechanisms, defense mechanisms to prevent a threat or an attack).

And again, in real life, "dubious consent" IS always part of rapists defense strategies, at one point or another.

I understand that some (many) disagree with that, but the very fact that this is hotly debated should, at least, make you question the whole thing.

In the case of that scene in Sunday, this is even more glaring to me. The thing is Gia actually says "no" multiple times throughout the whole "incident" (that's how it is labelled). He clearly states that he doesn't care, he clearly states that he what he is doing is a way to PUNISH her for being a "stuck up bitch". He physically restrains her, she fights against Flynn, she even bites him! There is a clear disconnect between her physical reaction and her mental state : her body reacts to the proximity and stimuli of a guy she found attractive, but SHE, as a person, as a rational person with free will, opposes the act. He clearly forces himself on her against her free conscious will. Then, at the end, while she is feeling all kinds of confused, physically and mentally, he shames her and threaten her. Later on, he even (rightfully) fears that she is going to show up with the police and that he is going to be arrested! I mean, how is this not a sexual assault?

So, yeah, Kaia, I believe you when you say you do not condone rape. I even agree with you when you says that fictions/art/books are not responsible for people making conscious choices in real life. An author writing about murders is not responsible for someone using what he read to go and kill people; just like an author writing about rape is not responsible for someone going and raping other people. But I disagree with part of this line of argumentation. First, it wasn't the point I was making. My point is that by not clearly labelling what is described in that scene as a rape, by "blurring the lines", downplaying Gia's consent (and now labelling it "dubious consent"), this scene is part of a larger problematic trend that either hide or romanticize/glamourize abuses and violences against women and is, therefore, problematic. It is all the more problematic 'cause it is the start, the foundation of the whole relationship which is therefore "tainted" by the whole "incident".

Also, not being responsible for other people's action doesn't mean that authors have no responsibilities at all when it comes to their writing. The "artistic licence" line of argumentation doesn't preclude for being held accountable for what you write and put out into the public place. Fiction (whether it's books, movies, music), is part of a culture, which has an impact on real life as it IS part of real life. It matters. Progressive or reactionary writings, books, films do matter. You can choose to be one or another. To feed into sexist, racist, homophobic tropes or not. To feed into rape culture or not. It doesn't means the actual work has no quality or the executions of problematic parts isn't top notch. It is all part of your "artistic licence" and artistic freedom. And so it will be part of the conversation/reactions around this work too.

[Taida]

Very interesting conversation @Kaia and @Red. I agree with the whole idea of dubious consent not existing and that it has been used as an easy excuse within a sexist/racist/heterosexist system that tells us that women's bodies and lived experiences either don't matter or don't matter as much as men's bodies and desires. It seems that we do use/tolerate the idea of dubious consent to justify a number of seemingly abusive connections or incidents between the MC's in romance and this conversation has definitely made me question my own tolerance of this issue within romance in particular and within fiction in general.

I would have to say that I am still working through why this scene did not bother me as much as, let's say, the bodice ripper's of old. I think part of it has to do with what you said @Red here : To feed into sexist, racist, homophobic tropes or not. To feed into rape culture or not. It doesn't means the actual work has no quality or the executions of problematic parts isn't top notch.

For me, it does matter how the issue is handled and how it fits within the overall relationship. I tend to shy away from the books that have problematic love scenes that attempt to attach worthiness of the heroine to her virtue-- a virtue that she must protect from the virility of the hero in order to be considered a "good" woman worthy of love, respect, and a HEA.

So I agree that yes this part of the book was problematic (although when I read your first comment I initially resisted this idea by saying to myself, but this is romance, SMH @myself). But then, conversations such as these are vital in discussing how romance, despite all our claims (myself included) of it being an escapist genre, does matter. So it is important, at least for me, that we begin to unpack the good, bad, problematic, and the ugly.

Definitely have to think more about this...

[Kaia]

Sunday is back up on Amazon. Thanks for reading, and for updates or questions I will answer them over on my author page, or wherever else you choose to contact me. That way I won't take up your thread anymore. I apologize if I got too involved on this one in my attempt to answer questions or concerns. Thanks again for everything. :)