Amazon exiles discussion
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He went out in the garde..."
HA HA HA!!! - bless all four of his furry feet ;o>

Up until recently, our only pet was a plecostamus, but it didn't seem to turn a hair, sorry, scale, at them.
'Twas fairly noisy here as well. We did a late shop at Lidl and one worker told us a chap had been in and spent £150 on their firework packs!
We decided to close the curtains and door and just stay put last night after watching the skies explode for a while.

It is definitely worth every last penny paid out on it ;o>



WoW?!! - six whole miles just to find the nearest Tree to take a pee behind! - LOL!!! ;o>
Have you been banned from the Bathroom for leaving the Loo Seat up again?!! ... Hee, Hee, Hee!!!


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Sirius Black is a fat, grumpy abomination of a cat who has been that way since kittenhood. He likes the dogs and will flop by their feet and lazily tap at their paws and purr. He has never been a cuddly cat. He's also 25 pounds of hate. Hehehe. We have had him on proper fat-cat food since he was 2. Now he's diabetic, on special food, insulin, and he got fatter. We feed him how his vet said to and he just gets bigger. He gets no treats, only the prescribed amount of dry kibble. Maybe he's angry because he's been on a diet for 7 years. The dogs snuggle with him.
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This sounds like a very cosy set-up? - are the Dogs craftily sneaking him some of their own Rations as well in return for all of the cuddles?!! - LOL!!! ;o>

Now there's a thought. With a name like Sirius Black and an animagus, we have now found out what he changes into!

I am looking forward to Jumanji 2 when it comes out though.

Internal science exam assessment for new year 7 kids. A few only started recently and had yet to have a science lesson so they were given a science general knowledge paper. This included a simple crossword to be completed. 2 across read: "A fish is covered in these, 6 letters" After puzzling over the answer, and knowing it contained an 'a', one candidate put their hand up to call me over and asked: "How do you spell 'batter', sir?" Barely containing myself, I replied, as it wasn't really even an exam for them: "I think it means a live one, not a dead one." :0)

😁😁😁😁😁😁😁




I was once marking a second-year medicine exam. Asked how to diagnose a thyroid disorder, one student suggested a barium enema. He/she must have been planning to use a very long tube.

That just reminded me of my very first time as a Student Nurse when I was there to assist with catheterising a male Patient. It was quite obviously the Patient's first time as well because, when I brought in the Trolley, he sat up in Bed and very cheerfully and helpfully opened his Mouth up as wide as possible for us!
When Sister (magnificently maintaining a perfectly straight face) very gently explained to him exactly where the Tube was actually going to go, he fainted clean away, and we had to wait for him to come back around again before proceeding! ;o>

More input! We must have more episodes like these, we simply must!
None of us are free from gaffes, though. In fairness, I feel I must relate my own...
It was 20 years ago, my wife was about to give birth to our third child. For the first time her waters broke at home so I was straight onto the Maternity Hospital Ward she was scheduled for. Labour pains weren't there so guessed not an ambulance emergency. There was a driveway outside the front of the hospital building with a canopy entrance for ambulances to unload. I explained the situation to the ward nurse and she asked if I would be driving my wife in. Guessing I would be unloading under the canopy and not wanting to be clamped or whatever, I told them yes in case they needed to allow for my doing that. The nurse then asked "Registration Number?" I proceeded to give the car's reg no and she stopped me. "No, I mean your wife's registration number," syas she. "Oh, silly me," says I.
My wife wasn't happy that I had just tried to book our car in for an MOT in the Maternity Unit! :0P


They didn't dare leave the Dog behind, just in case it was a really long labour, and so he came too - tucked into the tiny footwell of the Sidecar with his Head between my Mum's knees.
My Dad parked up and raced in to ask for help and, when the two Porters came out, one took one look at the Dusty's Head and quipped "Good Lord, it's here already and that's the biggest hairiest baby I've ever seen!"
They needn't have rushed though as my poor Mum was then in labour for another 72 hours before first Forceps and then an Emergency Caesarean had to be performed - all of which my Mum never ever fails to remind me of on every one of my Birthdays! ;o>

One from my back catalogue :0(
Before we had children, new house and bills etc meant nights out were few and far between. We had registered with a Brum night club whereby every so often they offered free tickets to a night out (band/singer/comedian/magician etc followed by disco and could opt for meal if required.) This is doubly embarrassing as I have to admit we acquired 2 tickets to see Dollar - but they were free!!! Noted and memorised the date, midweek, so when it arrived we dressed up and went along. Tickets checked on door, tickets checked again by girl who showed us to our seats. Enjoyed the warm up part with drinks when girl came up to us and asked to check our tickets again. Peeved, I fished them out and she checked them again. We were in correct seats so she went away. Then she came back and asked to see them again with 2 other annoyed customers standing close by. Me, equally annoyed by now, showed the perishing tickets yet again. "Er, these tickets are for NEXT week, Sir. Tonight's show is Bernard Manning - he's rather rude, you know."
Ever wished a hole could swallow you up? Fortunately all parties found it funny, and they found us another table on the edge of the floor so we got to see the show - and it WAS rude, bigotted and all those things he was known for.
Better still, we still went back the following week to see Dollar and didn't need showing to our seats - 2 shows for free!

I went there, too, P. My mum & dad were on the same mailing list. (The club was called The Night Out, in case you've forgotten - it has a Wikipedia page.) The only time I got to go with them was to see the Brother Lees (a singing trio of "comedy" impressionists). I can still remember trying to eat in theatre-level darkness. Actually, some of the cabaret acts on the bill were pretty good.
On a family holiday in Amsterdam a few years ago we had tickets for Anne Frank's house. We dutifully turned up at the precise time. Unfortunately, the tickets were for the previous day. The staff were brilliant and managed to fit us in, despite the museum being very, very busy.



Being the only one watching 'Fatal Attraction' that screamed her Head off when Glenn Close suddenly rose up out of the Bath after supposedly being drowned ... everyone burst out laughing and started to look around to see who it was while I sunk down so low in my Seat that I was almost sat on the Floor! - LOL!!! ;o>
And going to see 'The Name Of The Rose' because it had Sean Connery in it and so me and my friends reckoned that it was probably a James Bond'ish kind of a Film? ... only to find ourselves watching grotesquely deformed Monks all ringing Bells in a Monastery while also up to all sorts of very graphic sexually deviant behaviour! ... I just lost the plot and got the giggles so badly that I had to disturb an entire row to get out and then lean against the Wall outside, almost howling with hysterical laughter, while my friend stood there with me still looking utterly bewildered and setting me off even more by saying "but which one of them was Q?" ... ;o>
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We saw David Copperfield, The Osmond Brothers, Mud, Showaddy Waddy and several more acts there. Usually while there they announced a special offer for a forthcoming night but only if you went out to the box office while you were there that night. That's how we managed to see a few acts there. I agree that eating a meal in the darkness was an art. The compere used to like humiliating members of the audience as well. His favourite gag was to offer to shake a bloke's hand and then apologise for its being wet as "I just went to the toilet before coming on stage." He tried doing it to me one night so I jumped in quickly and beat him to his own punchline, which he wasn't happy about!


We were erring on the younger side of the age group that went there, but when free tickets were offered, then... As they state, some of the acts were major names at the time as well. Our era was early 80s, before it changed to The Dome.
The funny one was The Osmond Brothers. From mega arena, they appeared in this night club with older swooning fans, all now married but reliving earlier days of fandom, and with their embarrassed husbands all in the same boat, bemused at their wives 'losing it' and going all girly at the flashing white teeth while drinking together in a sort of 'brotherhood' of understanding.
We'd go to the bar and address each other saying "I never thought I'd see the day when I would have been at an Osmonds concert..." Problem was, I think we all agreed they were brilliant performers and knew how to take the mick out of themselves as well. We were there with my brother and his wife, and we even stood outside the stage door as groupies afterwards so our wives could get autographs - the only time I've done that!

I usually use discounted Groupon Vouchers plus I also try to wait on their frequent Flash Sales to get an extra 15% - 25% off as well.
This Afternoon it was at a small Pub in a 'posh' place that we rarely tend to go to, Wilmslow, as it is very much a part of the Cheshire Triangle and the home-base to many of the wealthy Cheshire Set - which means the Town Centre is a very exclusive mix of extremely expensive independent Shops and Designer Name Boutiques.
You know, the sort of Shops with no price tags on anything - because if you do have to ask how much something is then you can pretty much guarantee that it means that you can't afford to shop there.
Anyways, the Cream Tea was a bargain price, and I already knew from looking at the photos online that it would be served up a little differently as well, which came as an extra lovely surprise to my Mum - as it comes served up on a miniature model of a Country Park Picnic Table instead of the usual kind of Cake Stand.
We opted for Coffee instead of Tea and then had a blissful hour and a half munching our way through a delightful selection of delicious fresh Finger Sandwiches (Ham & Mustard, Egg Mayo, Cheese & Tomato, Tuna Mayo & Sweetcorn) followed by a very generous slice each of Carrot & Walnut Cake, Chocolate Fudge Cake and Victoria Sponge, plus a small slab each of Lemon Drizzle Loaf, a small dish of fresh Strawberries, and then Scones with Jam & Cream ... and I'm SO incredibly full that I can hardly bear to move now! ... Hee, Hee, Hee!!! ;o>
And here is the online picture - that is identical to what we have just greatly enjoyed ...

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truly a cake frenzy - i'm jealous! :)

The only thing we felt was missing was just a bit of Butter. The Sandwiches were so beautifully fresh yet they fell apart far too easily as they were filled but unbuttered and so we got a lot of the grated Cheese all over the Table! Luckily there was a lovely little old Cocker Spaniel who was very amiably wandering around and he turned out to be extremely partial to leftover Cheese ;o>
I do preferably like my Scone to be very lightly buttered too as I like a hint of Salt just to help to cut through all of the sweetness of the Jam & Cream.
Apart from that, it was a delicious Afternoon Tea Treat for the both of us ;o>

In the end we ate our fill but as an experience it left a lot to be desired. That'll teach us to leave it and go on a popular day!

how many do you have? :)"
2, but he has to Troop the Colour on one of them.

Was it a Wyevale Garden Centre one? We had a rather poor Groupon experience at our local one, but then again, we were probably much more prepared for it not being so good anyway - as the Café has always come across as being badly managed and the meal prices far too expensive for what you actually get given as well.
The Afternoon Tea there was good enough on the whole but we too were served our Tea first and had also finished it long before the rest of the Afternoon Tea had arrived. And it was a very slapdash affair with virtually no Sandwiches to it at all - and all of the Tables around us were laden with half-eaten food and dirty pots and no-one seemed interested in clearing them away.
The older Lady who first served us insisted extra drinks would have to be paid for, and so we reluctantly re-ordered Tea knowing this, but the young Girl who served us the Tea said it was ridiculous and it was her last day working there and so she was not going to charge us! - LOL! ;o>
It was not an experience I'd want to repeat - there was nothing special about it being in a run-down Café with mainly unfriendly Staff plus we also had to clear and wipe down our own Table before we could sit down. I usually look out for the independent Cafes, Country Pub and posh Restaurant or Hotel ones and we have had some absolutely amazing Afternoon Teas as a result.
Some bake their own Bread for the Sandwiches, one was a Gastro-Pub with it's own Smokehouse and gave us three kinds of Tapas dishes as well as some Sandwiches, and a tiny Café (of just 3 Tables) in a funny little Antique Centre served us the most amazing selection of delicious homemade Cakes on a really unusual Silver Cake Stand that unfolded and opened out just like the Petals on a Flower. It looked a lot like this one I found on Google but was far more elaborate and ornate ...

The Robinsons Brewery Afternoon Tea was a bit average (we were only offered one kind of Cake as well as a Scone and they were both typical of ordinary Shop-bought kinds) but one of the Staff passing through heard us talking about the Robinson Horses and came over and asked us if we would like to see them as they were in Brewery Stables on that day. He had to swipe his Staff Card to gain access but was in no hurry to rush us - and it really made our day to spend half an hour stroking the Heads of such magnificent Shire Horses while he chatted away to us about them ;o>

how many do you have? :)"
2, but he has to Troop the Colour on one of them."
Actually 3. On the 3rd one I usually wear my birthday suit...


Yup. Sounds like you visited the same one we went to!"
From the Reviews that I've seen online, Wyevale Cafes all appear to share in having a pretty poor reputation. We just tried it out for the novelty of it, didn't expect much, and weren't disappointed in that expectation - LOL! ;o>
I'm going into Hospital for a couple of days and so I wanted to have a Treat beforehand and to treat my Mum who will be looking after me when I get out.
We also have a couple of other interesting Groupons to hopefully get to use up afterwards while I recover - and all of them have excellent Trip Advisor Reviews and so I have high hopes of them all ;o>


Hope the procedure goes well for you, and get well soon afterwards. We are preparing for similar for my wife, early December, although that should be as a day case, so long as all goes to plan. She should be laid up over Christmas though. :0(

I can't help but try to see if I can spot some of the outdoor locations they use. I'm sure there is one part that they labelled 'Birmingham Midland Hotel' that I'm sure was the main stairway to first floor of Birmingham Council House!
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He went out in the garden after dinner barked at the fireworks for about 30 seconds, wee'd on the garage wall to show his contempt for the noisy human practice then came back inside, climbed into his bed and went to sleep.