Amazon exiles discussion
Don't Kill Snails with Salt ... Creme Eggs & Toasted Teacakes ... Biscuits & Bench Stories, Life, the Universe, & Everything!
Val wrote: "It's always good to come across some light relief in the midst of the current crisis.On Facebook:
Waiting for new Aussie slang to be born in the next few months.
Early guesses:
Sanny - hand san..."
:0)
How long before it's on Neighbours?
Corrie and Eastenders have the means to insert brief up to date mentions about the situation into pre-recorded episodes - they have done this before. However, it wouldn't make for interesting storylines when The Rovers and Queen Vic have to be shut and every family is self isolating apart from when they are fighting over the last pack of bog rolls in the corner shop.
P wrote: "Corrie and Eastenders have the means to insert brief up to date mentions about the situation into pre-recorded episodes - they have done this before. However, it wouldn't make for interesting storylines when The Rovers and Queen Vic have to be shut and every family is self isolating apart from when they are fighting over the last pack of bog rolls in the corner shop. ..."Watching TV I'm immediately struck by how out of date the ads are. I suppose this is because advertising is booked months in advance and as it's paid for, there's no need to pull it. We are regaled with heaps of ads for cruises (er, no thank you) and travel with Flight Centre (currently in liquidation). And there are even ads for supermarket specials - good luck finding them on the shelves!
Austerity began for me today as I reverted to the auld Scots way of making porridge - bring water to the boil and sprinkle a handful of oats over the top. It was great!! But I'm sorry, I never could hold with salt on my porridge, a teaspoon of molasses did the trick for me.
Val wrote: "P wrote: "Corrie and Eastenders have the means to insert brief up to date mentions about the situation into pre-recorded episodes - they have done this before. However, it wouldn't make for interes..."Didn’t know about that porridge method! I’ll give it a go.
Val wrote: "....Austerity began for me today as I reverted to the auld Scots way of making porridge - bring water to the boil and sprinkle a handful of oats over the top. It was great!! But I'm sorry, I never could hold with salt on my porridge..."That's one of the foodstuffs I'm struggling to get hold of. I could only get a small bag of oatmeal last week, not a rolled oat to be seen anywhere. I'm sure they'll reappear soon.
Oatmeal makes better porridge anyway, at least I think it does. And Lez, on those occasions you’ve had porridge chez moi it was made as described by Val, with oatmeal.
Yours is always nice, nc. I’m ashamed to say I often have instant porridge, but I have got some oatmeal for when my sister comes.
Popped to the Supermarket this morning as we decided to leave the weekend for those not wishing to practice social distancing.It would appear Quaker Oats are preferable to Scotts porridge Oats - Quaker totally sold out, whereas Scotts supplies untouched.
P wrote: "Popped to the Supermarket this morning as we decided to leave the weekend for those not wishing to practice social distancing.It would appear Quaker Oats are preferable to Scotts porridge Oats - Q..."
I got some Quaker Oats (Su's preference, I don't eat porridge) in our local Leclerc supermarche last Friday, so you can blame the French:-)
P wrote: "It would appear Quaker Oats are preferable to Scotts porridge Oats..."That would be Scott's porage oats, surely?
(But autocorrect thinks it should be pirate oats.)
The main brands of rolled oats here are Uncle Toby's (who started in the 1860s manufacturing John Bull Oats and are now owned by Nestle; they are located in country Victoria, in the little town of Wahgunyah, population 891, so I like to support them) and Sanitarium (which is wholly owned by the Seventh-Day Adventist Church). Sanitarium also make Weet-Bix, probably Australia's most popular breakfast cereal and sponsor of many sporting teams and events. The oatmeal I buy (called steel-cut oats here) is made by Red Tractor.
Gordon wrote: "P wrote: "It would appear Quaker Oats are preferable to Scotts porridge Oats..."That would be Scott's porage oats, surely?
(But autocorrect thinks it should be pirate oats.)"
Nope, Quaker use 'porridge'. However, the main title on the front of the box is "Quaker Rolled Oats". Don't think I've ever had porridge made with salt. Possibly half water/half milk as a child, but milk and sweetener for me. I remember asking if they could 'do' porridge for breakkie in a B&B once, and I was asked "water and salt or milk and sugar?" I was aghast at the time.
Must be a Sassenach!PREPARATION OF OATMEAL
"The halesome parritch, chief o' Scotia's food" - Burns
(The one and only method)
Oatmeal, salt, water
It is advisable to keep a goblet exclusively for porridge.
(Note: The goblets made at the great Carron foundry, in Falkirk, were of cast iron.)
Allow for each person one breakfastcupful of water, a handful of oatmeal (about an ounce and a quarter) and a small saltspoonful of salt. Use fresh spring water and be particular about the quality of the oatmeal. Midlothian oats are reputed to be unsurpassed, but the small Highland oats are very sweet.
Bring the water to the boil and as soon as it reaches boiling-point add the oatmeal, letting it fall in a steady rain from the left hand and stirring it briskly the while with the right, sunwise, or the right-hand turn for luck - and convenience. A porridge-stick, called a spurtle, and in some parts a theevil, or, as in Shetland, a gruel-tree, is used for this purpose. Be careful to avoid lumps, unless the children clamour for them. When the porridge is boiling steadily, draw the mixture to the side and put on the lid. Let it cook for from twenty to thirty minutes according to the quality of the oatmeal, and do not add the salt, which has a tendency to harden the meal and prevent its swelling, until it has cooked for at least ten minutes. On the other hand, never cook porridge without salt. Ladle straight into cold porringers or soup-plates and serve with individual bowls of cream, or milk, or buttermilk. Each spoonful of prorridge, which should be very hot, is dipped in the cream or milk, which should be quite cold, before it is conveyed to the mouth.
Notes:
In Scots, porridge, like broth, is spoken of as "they". "Why do ye nae sup yer parritch?" "I dinna like them; they're unco wersh (very insipid), gi'e me a wee pickle saut (salt)" (Jamieson)
The old custom is to stand whilst supping porridge. A friend of the writer's recollects being slapped by her Highland nurse for not standing up to "them". As to whether the custom has any mystical significance or is merely an application of the proverb that "a staunin' (standing) sack fills the fu'est", I profess no opinion.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Laboriously transcribed from F. Marian McNeill's "The Scots Kitchen - Its Lore and Recipes". My paperback edition is published by Mayflower in 1974. It was first published by Blackie & Son Ltd, 1929.
Ye've been tellt!
That's wonderful Val. I especially like the bit about the lumps. It's pretty much how I make porridge, as taught by my mother, except for the fresh spring water (Glasgow tap water is a perfect substitute) and the length of time it's cooked for, I stir for about 5-10 minutes. And I don't add salt while cooking, though I like to add a bit once it's in the bowl, which I shall henceforth refer to as the porringer. Don't kill porridge with salt.
And do the oats fall from your hand like a steady rain and do you stir sunwise? It's all in the detail!
nocheese wrote: "That's wonderful Val. I especially like the bit about the lumps. It's pretty much how I make porridge, as taught by my mother, except for the fresh spring water (Glasgow tap water is a perfect subs..."Aaah, the tap water of Glasgow...
Many years ago we lived in Glasgow for a while but then moved to Birmingham. On the day we moved in, we put on the kettle to make tea for us all. NOT good. Perfectly safe but so unpalatable. Had it been possible, we would have laid in a pipeline to transport decent water to our new place.
Similar story here. Luckily Melbourne has great water. I could live in Adelaide very happily except for the water. Our water is classed as "soft", Adelaide's is "hard" - horrible for washing your hair in apart from the mineral taste.
Val wrote: "Royal Doulton still use "porringer" in their range."
That was my cereal bowl when I was a kid, wonder if my Mum still has it?
Inspired by Val, I've posted a picture of my own spurtles on my profile. One of them is a bog standard thistle top, the other, although very plain, is more interesting. It was my mother's and is obviously homemade, possibly by my dad, but it may have belonged to someone else before she had it. Looks like oak. It's the one I use. This is what lockdown means- posting pictures of spurtles.
TheFoe wrote: "Val wrote: "Royal Doulton still use "porringer" in their range."
That was my cereal bowl when I was a kid, wonder if my Mum still has it?"
My sister’s got one as well, plus 2 other different designs and a plate. She’s also got my mum’s spurtle though there aren’t any Scots in the family.
Tech XXIII (Chadicle Fellowes Society) wrote: "christ, it's like 'life in a scotch sitting room vol.3'never tasted purritch - never gonnae! gadz!"
If you thought you were already in exile, you ain't seen nothin' yet!!!!
Porridge may be our saviour in this crisis!
nocheese wrote: "Inspired by Val, I've posted a picture of my own spurtles on my profile. One of them is a bog standard thistle top, the other, although very plain, is more interesting. It was my mother's and is ob..."Lovely! I am sure there are heaps of household items we can start sharing to fill the time - tartan travelling rugs, Cairngorm jewellery, books by and about Rabbie Burns,.......... Let's make Tech's life even more miserable!
Lez wrote: "My sister’s got one as well, plus 2 other different designs and a plate. She’s also got my mum’s spurtle though there aren’t any Scots in the family...."I think you need a porringer (goblet) from the Carron foundry in Falkirk Lez.
This is the mark you need to look for

Some info on the Carron name here:
https://electricscotland.com/history/...
https://www.undiscoveredscotland.co.u...
Isabella wrote: "nocheese wrote: "That's wonderful Val. I especially like the bit about the lumps. It's pretty much how I make porridge, as taught by my mother, except for the fresh spring water (Glasgow tap water ..."Huh? But Birmingham water is renowned for being soft and lurvely! It's pumped direct from welsh Wales from the Elan Valley. Love it, and really tell the difference when we go away anywhere.
Love those thistle-topped spurtles, but I ain't gonna swap me sweetener for salt in porridge any time soon.
Talking about local delicacies, the Black Country has summat called 'Grorty (or Groaty) Dick', that uses groats and shoulder of mutton, slow cooked for hours.
Grizzlygrump wrote: "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0G63...Consider yourselves told :)"
This is brilliant, should be a government information broadcast.
Brilliant Grizzly! :-DI've seen a parody of Bohemian Rhapsody, by Adrain Grimes..a comedian, so i gather...it's quite good..
https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...
or this one...My Corona by Chris Mann
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojrtw...
There's quite a few parodies by Mann, this one a Madonna classic:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xt58...
And i quite like this one - My Name Is Corona by Chandan Raina, Indian Rap!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juugA...
Speaking of the pandemic...isn't this just stereotypical of our yank cousins....Whilst us brits are panic buying up bog rolls, hand santizer, flour & pasta etc...what were our yank cousins rushing out to stockpile up on last week?
Guns and ammunition! Bloody typical!
Presumably so they can blow the hell away any infected person who dares to 'trepass' on thier properties!
Anyway, despite the snow the other day spring seems to be on it's way (yes, it's always a bit later arriving up here). Snowdrops, croci, tulips etc. popping up everywhere. Siskins & oystercatchers have arrived. Woodpeckers are a drumming. Curlews are a curlewing (?) and goosies (mainly greylags) are on the move again. Not heard any lapwings yet tho'.
Meanwhile, a bit further south in the mighty metropolis of Glasgow the current situation has resulted in roe deer grazing peacefully in the open in our public parks, and sparrowhawks and kestrels circling overhead.
Nothing so exotic here but the grebes are courting, such a pretty sight.On the down side, just been for my 'allowed exercise' and some cyclists are still sticking to the pavement in places, in spite of the allocated cycle tracks and the almost empty roads which are usually pretty quiet here anyway. If the virus don't get you then the bikes will!
aye, even here in killie we are seeing the first signs of spring, the socially undistant, but probably bulletproof to any virus (particularly any that attack the brain), roaming hordes of junkies have started to shed their sweat-stained hoodies. some are even down to 5 or 6 layers of outdated sportswear - practically tropical here!
An amusing story of wild mountain goats being seen taking up resident on the deserted streets of the small Welsh town of Llandudno!Presumably cos their all wondering where the humans have disappeared to..but nevertheless taking good advantage of the tasty hedgerows on offer as well! :)
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2020...
Surprisingly, people seem to be more-or-less doing as they're told - re distancing - round here. Went to the chemist yesterday (they're going with a one-out-one-in policy) and the pharmacist told me there was earlier a queue outside that reminded her of The Full Monty; half expecting em to start dancing! : )
The Chemist in our village is such a small shop that you'd be lucky to get more than six customers in there before all this kicked off. Now, it's one customer at a time, to wait at a barrier halfway between the door and the counter and only one visible member of staff behind the counter instead of the usual three.
When I went in last Friday for my repeat medication I wasn't even given the option of signing the prescription - the pharmacist knew mine was on a pre-paid certificate and told me she'd sign it then practically threw my tablets at me from behind the safety of the counter! 😷
When I went in last Friday for my repeat medication I wasn't even given the option of signing the prescription - the pharmacist knew mine was on a pre-paid certificate and told me she'd sign it then practically threw my tablets at me from behind the safety of the counter! 😷
Yep, same here Grizz. My keyworker has dropped off one lot of prescriptions at the chemist, which I collect once-a-week, and my repeat was due t'other day as well and I didn't have to sign for neither. Was passed my meds - as opposed to having em chucked : ) - via a gap underneath a plastic screen. Also, a yellow line has appeared, bordering the counter and so on; I don't think they need to explain not to step over it apart from being passed medication. That's about it. They're still pretty friendly and relaxed tho they seem to be missing two of their regular staff since everything kicked off. Am guessing they're both on the 'At Risk' list or something. I Haven't asked.
Grizzlygrump wrote: "When I went in last Friday for my repeat medication I wasn't even given the option of signing the prescription - the pharmacist knew mine was on a pre-paid certificate and told me she'd sign it then practically threw my tablets at me from behind the safety of the counter!..."Yes, I had to pick up a repeat prescription last week. The pharmacist (who had an outrageously beautiful voice, by the way) just asked me whether I paid for prescriptions rather than making me sign the form. I'd let my prepayment lapse. As they give me two months' worth of everything at a time it only saves me £13 every 3 months if I prepay. It might be a futile gesture, but I'm happy to make that tiny additional contribution to the NHS as I'm in the very fortunate position of still working and still being paid regularly.
What's puzzling me at the moment is why the staff in the convenience store round the corner are still handling cash payments without wearing gloves.
It's an old English tradition :)
Hiyah Everyone! ... x x x ;o>I know it's been a while but I just wanted to bob-in to see how you are all managing in such extraordinary times as these - and to pass on to each and everyone of you all of my love and my very best wishes as always ... x x x
I thought I'd join in by sharing some Links to these brilliant (clever and funny yet also rather poignant too) Cover Versions by a very talented American Singer/Song Writer that I'm a fan of called Chris Mann ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xt58...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5azN...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojrtw...
And there is also this one too that just keeps on reducing to me to puddles of tears every time that I watch or hear it but I still absolutely love it all the same ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGKFV...
Take care ... x ... stay strong, stay safe, and stay well, my friends ... x x x
Welcome back, Suzy. I'm not sure how you've managed to sneak in while everyone is looking the other way, but everyone will be delighted when they see you. 🤗
suzysunshine7 wrote: "Hiyah Everyone! ... x x x ;o>I know it's been a while but I just wanted to bob-in to see how you are all managing in such extraordinary times as these - and to pass on to each and everyone of you..."
Trust you, Suzy, to come back with stuff to make us smile. We missed you, stay safe xxx
Welcome back Suzy!! Thanks for the links - what a talented singer and lyricist! I hope you find a lot of support and laughs with your friends here.I wouldn't normally post photos of my grandchildren but I've put up two on my profile because they made me laugh - before and after shots of my 16 month old grandaughter. 'Before' is off to childcare, 'after' is when she came home.
Gordon wrote: "Welcome back, Suzy. I'm not sure how you've managed to sneak in while everyone is looking the other way, but everyone will be delighted when they see you. 🤗"Well ... this'll give you a laugh, Gordon! ... I now have Wheelchair Socks and Slippers!!! ;o>
After SO many years of pig-headed prevarication and agonising indecision M&D finally got together on agreeing on getting new Carpets throughout the House - and that unexpectedly then led me onto rethinking about how my Wheelchair goes outside and then comes back into the House - and so I had a look around the Internet, discovered Wheelchair Socks and Slippers and voila! ...

I now have the stealth to sneak around like a Ninja ... HA HA HA HA HA!!! ;o>
Books mentioned in this topic
Ten Poems about Snow (other topics)And So This is Christmas: 51 Seasonally Adjusted Poems (other topics)
The Tiger Who Came to Tea (other topics)
The Quangle Wangle's Hat (other topics)
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (other topics)
More...
Authors mentioned in this topic
Christina Rossetti (other topics)John Keats (other topics)
Joan Aiken (other topics)



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Waiting for new Aussie slang to be born in the next few months.
Early guesses:
Sanny - hand san..."
heheh, hope haven't got any vyree yet...