Question 3: ("Wonder") Have you been in a situation where you were bullied or witnessed others bullying someone? Continued below...

[Adriana (Mea)]

Question 3 ("Wonder"): "Wonder" by R.J. focuses on a kid who looks different from his classmates and has to learn to deal with individuals who are reluctant to get to know him due to his differences. Have you been in a situation where you were bullied or witnessed others bullying someone? How did you react in these situations? What advice would you give others who are currently in similar situations?

[Dylan]

I guess I was the focus of some unprovoked bullying. I was targeted, hit, mad fun of, kind of attempting to get a rise out of e but I was just confused about the whole thing. People then start saying the only doing it cause their jealous of you. I didn't know they knew anything about me to be jealous off. But it seemed after a while of not really getting any reaction off me they stopped. A while later I noticed the same guys picking on me either had brothers beating on them or had parents that didn't even turn up for pta meetings. I guess they just wanted to lash out and I was a bit of a head in the clouds guy so seemed like an easy target.

I always try to understand people what drives them and it was the pure unprovoked malice that confused me but I had a certain comfort knowing their actions were not completely random but an unconscious release of some other pent up anger r disappoint meant in their lives

[Adriana (Mea)]

I know this question is a bit personal and may require some sorting through the old memory files.

First, I believe that everyone has experienced varying degrees of bullying in their lives. Humans as a species have a group mentality. We form groups and mini groups and subsections of mini groups that are experience based (inside jokes, classes, parties). It's easy to feel like an outsider in unfamiliar situations and it's easy for those that are "in" to exclude those that are "out".

Mainstream media has also made a huge impression on the treatment of outsiders. Who's most likely to get bullied in movies and shows? The poor kid, skinny kid, the kid with glasses, braces, hearing aids... any kid who looks a little different.

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Growing up I was definitely not considered a "cool" kid! I have this one vivid memory of being in gym class in 6th grade. A group of three much taller girls approached me in the locker room and pushed me down while I was changing for being too competitive during practice. I stood my ground and told them I would get them suspended if they shoved me again. They laughed at my response and went off to find their next source of amusement. A month later they ended up giving another girl a concussion in the locker room. It deeply bothered me that I hadn't spoken up about the bullying and another person had been hurt.

Mea's Life Advice for those being bullied: In situations where you're feeling down about what someone said/did, remember that you're not here on this Earth to unnecessarily suffer because someone thinks you're not cool. You have limited time here on this Earth, choose to live it your way and push out the negative bullies from your life.

Mea's Life Advice for those witnessing bullying: Stand up for what you believe in!!! Lend a hand when needed!!! Treat others the way you'd like to be treated.... Also, remember the rule of Karma! You never know someone you helped out will be the one that helps YOU!

[Dylan]

Yea I agree I think human still have a primal instinct to be tribal, group mentality, mob mentality it works in the wild but we soon learn how flawed and simplistic this world view is how it no longer works in the real world we have evolved and care for everyone and help everyone

[Adriana (Mea)]

Dylan- I agree with what you said about the bullies home life. Kids reflect their home life in school. If a kid is picked on on and harmed by family at home they often pick on and harm others. And to top it off, the mob mentality makes kids more harsh and violent.

I know the bullies I dealt with had home issues and vented out their emotions through harming others so I can relate to you on that front.

There are of course people in this world who are brought up in good homes and end up harming other anyway, but that's not seen as often...

[Dylan]

Very true we as humans have an ability to make anything happen, even from loving home we can still have a cruel mind

[Margaret]

I agree with you Dylan. Some people bully others just for the fun of it and also to gain notoriety amongst peers.

I can remember when I just got into secondary school and as the new student, since I was the shortest in class, I was at a high risk of being bullied. A much taller girl in my class was seen as the school diva and when people heard my voice when I sang at school, they started talking about me being able to sing than the school diva so after school on friday she came to me when I was set to go home. She was with her friends so I kinda weighed my options and the experience I had at home of being bullied by five older siblings gave me the courage to speak up and ever since no one has tried bullying me in school.

[Dylan]

true if you can stand up for yourself do it bully's are usually cowards. I used to act confused and they would just get irritated they didn't get the reactions they were looking for

[Max]

Agreed, one of the best ways to make a bully a mainstay in your life is to give them the reactions they want. When I was in elementary school, the kids who got teased the most were the ones who got the most upset about it, the ones who cried or tried throwing insults back. It just made the bullies laugh.

The ones who reacted more like you, Dylan, were the ones who didn't get bothered. I remember utilizing a similar strategy, to equally effective results.

Another reason I've found that kids become bullies, aside from having a messed up home life or a naturally mean disposition, is simply peer pressure. If the only friends you've made at school just so happen to like picking on smaller kids at recess, there's a decent chance you'll do it too. It can be about fitting in, doing what makes you look cool and feel accepted by others.

[Amber]

When I was young I always got bullied because I was fat. I never really took up for myself, but if I saw other kids getting bullied I would take up for them. I got into a lot of fights because of it.

My advice for those who witness bullying, say something. If you are scared go get an adult. Do not just be a witness.

[Dylan]

true don't be a bystander

[Imogen]

I haven't been bullied myself but I know friends who have been bullied during school & during college. I didn't know how to react because I didn't know how bad it actually got but it did know that it caused my closest friends from school to get anxiety. The advice I would give others who are currently in similar situations to me is to keep some kind of note like online conversations or video evidence of what you see going on concerning the bullying then tell someone.