I've just switched up my query letter and I've tested it out once with sending it to a literary agent but haven't heard anything back, so I'm not sure how it was received. I feel like it's a bit too wordy and doesn't really say what's going on, but my last query wasn't getting any responses, so I thought I'd try something new.
If you could message me with comments, that would be greatly appreciated :)
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Dear [agent name]
Eighteen-year-old Kirsten Hall is in a unwanted love triangle—with Ana, the personification of her eating disorder, and Alexander “Alex’ Taylor, a boy who, though struggles with his own demons, she finds herself falling for. Kristen’s relationship with Ana was a result of her parent’s divorce, and her mother’s subsequent abandonment, three years previously. Their relationship is rocky, with Ana inevitably pushing Kristen ever more toward suicide—a concept that Kristen does not wish for herself, but her dependence on Ana is too overpowering to overcome.
Meanwhile, though Kristen’s relationship with Alex is new, it quickly blossoms into something raw and true, as both characters navigate their existential purpose and self-worth. Their shared desire for something more than what life has offered them—for Kristen, it is less of a dependence on Ana, and to find self-independence, while for Alex, it is to be more than what is expected of him from his family, being the caregiver to his young niece, and to seek independence from the responsibilities and guilt thrust upon him. It is her relationship with Alex, as well as close friends and family, that guide Kristen to release herself from Ana’s harshness, and to find self-confidence.
ANA explores the trials of mental illness on family and friends, and the many forms of love—paternal, romantic and platonic—and how each can alter the perception of one’s self worth. [bit about me and my experience]
I've just switched up my query letter and I've tested it out once with sending it to a literary agent but haven't heard anything back, so I'm not sure how it was received. I feel like it's a bit too wordy and doesn't really say what's going on, but my last query wasn't getting any responses, so I thought I'd try something new.
If you could message me with comments, that would be greatly appreciated :)
***
Dear [agent name]
Eighteen-year-old Kirsten Hall is in a unwanted love triangle—with Ana, the personification of her eating disorder, and Alexander “Alex’ Taylor, a boy who, though struggles with his own demons, she finds herself falling for. Kristen’s relationship with Ana was a result of her parent’s divorce, and her mother’s subsequent abandonment, three years previously. Their relationship is rocky, with Ana inevitably pushing Kristen ever more toward suicide—a concept that Kristen does not wish for herself, but her dependence on Ana is too overpowering to overcome.
Meanwhile, though Kristen’s relationship with Alex is new, it quickly blossoms into something raw and true, as both characters navigate their existential purpose and self-worth. Their shared desire for something more than what life has offered them—for Kristen, it is less of a dependence on Ana, and to find self-independence, while for Alex, it is to be more than what is expected of him from his family, being the caregiver to his young niece, and to seek independence from the responsibilities and guilt thrust upon him. It is her relationship with Alex, as well as close friends and family, that guide Kristen to release herself from Ana’s harshness, and to find self-confidence.
ANA explores the trials of mental illness on family and friends, and the many forms of love—paternal, romantic and platonic—and how each can alter the perception of one’s self worth. [bit about me and my experience]