Science Fiction Microstory Contest discussion
JULY 2017 MICROSTORY CONTEST - COMMENTS ONLY
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C! I totally thought of Zardoz when I read your story! I've only seen parts here and there, but that is what came to my mind. I also liked your story. Well done!
Thanks Justin! If you'd like to critique my story, I'll request a free sample of those wacky and collectible Zardoz stone head masks for you. : )
https://new.liveauctioneers.com/item/...
-C
After many interruptions throughout the week, finally! got mine in :)
Thanks, Justin. It is only a matter of time before newborns get stamped with their corporate affiliations the way the world is going.
My story is up and I hope that you enjoy it.
Yes, good story John!I have to say I am having a harder time than usual coming up with a story idea this month. Which is frustrating to me because I thought with the theme and required elements that it would coalesce in my mind. Unfortunately it has not thus far.
Justin,You can do it! Think elevator ride to hell and you're half-way there!
-C
I'm thinking of Corporal Hudson's comment in "Aliens"."We're on the express elevator to hell, going down!!!"
Thanks C! I'll keep chewing on it.
Here's another tease. 3,000 miles to the center of the earth in only one meditative hour requires a hypersonic transport elevator. Cool!-C
Justin: Or you can go for the existential stuck in an elevator moment ;)
That's about what I feel like wrestling with this story!
Justin wrote: "Yes, good story John!I have to say I am having a harder time than usual coming up with a story idea this month. Which is frustrating to me because I thought with the theme and required elements t..."
Thanks Justin. Good luck with your story I look forward to reading it.
Okay, I finally got my brain cells together. The story is a culmination of an idea I've had rattling around in my mind for a while. It took my morning run today to jar it loose. I hope you like it!
Thanks C! I've always had this idea of a story for a deep space mining outfit to find the Ten Commandments buried somewhere unexpected. I finally found a place for it!
Mod
Nice job Justin. I knew you´d give us a good one. The ending was a good touch too.
Mod
a) It must have been the same barrier that held in the contaminated air that I breathed.
b) It must have been the same barrier that held in the contaminated air in which I breathed.
c) It must have been the same barrier that held in the contaminated air I breathed.
I would have to say (c) because it seems less laborious but I wonder about the nuances too. Does (b) imply a closed container?
John wrote: "Nice job Justin. I knew you´d give us a good one. The ending was a good touch too."Thanks John, much appreciated!
Nice story Greg,I liked the characters and the story's direction. Good work!
(c) reads the smoothest, Jot, and I agree with John that (b) implies a slightly different relation between the narrator and the container (seems to project something like a fish in a fishbowl within the main space of the narrative-assumed space/ship/other.
Jot: I go for "a" but my voice is always more formal.
Jot, I prefer c. Probably because after reviewing so much of my own work and reviewing other work, there seems to be a tendency to use 'That' too much. Then, when replaced by 'which', it can also become excessive. So, I just started trying to eliminate both words altogether as much as possible and I think my writing has improved by having to be more creative with my sentences. Anyways, hope that helps.
Jot,I prefer c. I've been told, and found to my dismay, I have 'THAT' disease. Inserting THAT in our speech sounds natural for many of us, but in writing is extraneous material (that) is best removed for clarity sake. Read your sentence with and without 'THAT'. There are times your sentence cannot stand without THAT and others when it isn't even missed. My 2 cents-
Wish I'd checked in on this month's topic two weeks sooner. This is a challenge I would have enjoyed thoroughly and may take it up on my own. In any event I will read through all the entries and maybe I can get back into participation next month. I've been out of the loop for over a year with barely time to work on my larger projects. Miss chatting with you all and kudos to Tom for a great topic.
I've been in and out myself and I miss your innovative stories.
Jot, I'd go a different rout altogether. When I run into this sort of dilemma I usually try to reconstruct the sentence (on my second draft, of course): "Contaminated air filled my lungs, probably held in by the same barrier."
Mod
Chris, I need a vote from you.
Timothy, please cast a vote if you do get the chance to read all the stories before the end of tomorrow.
Just sent you mine. Sorry it took a while. I was at San Diego Comic-con over the weekend and didn't have my computer.
That must have been some comic-con, Chris---how did it go?
It was spectacular! It's the biggest in the world and this was my second time there. So much to see and do! :)
Timothy wrote: "Wish I'd checked in on this month's topic two weeks sooner. This is a challenge I would have enjoyed thoroughly and may take it up on my own. In any event I will read through all the entries and ma..."Thank you, Timothy, and welcome back! Please invite your friends.
The rules for this contest are posted in the story feed.
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This month's theme:
Religious Freedom
Required Elements:
1) A legal verdict
2) An elevator