chin up and we'll drown a little slower; Showing 44,351-44,400 of 46,581

[jay, rip]

anyway i love boybands that were popular in 2013, don’t @ me

[jay, rip]

also my cats litter smelled so fucking bad that i was gagging and i had to put on a surgical mask to scoop it

[jay, rip]

i also sprayed the mask with lysol

[jay, rip]

so i was too busy choking on lysol to gag on the litter smell

[Deepthi]

Hey, Jay :)

[jay, rip]

hi

[jay, rip]

overheard in the science building:
bro#1: my cousin is supposed to give birth to his baby today
bro#2: don’t you mean his wife is giving birth to his baby?
bro#1: oh yeah i forgot

[jay, rip]

don’t you love listening to music in a different language that you don’t speak? x

[jay, rip]

“wtf is this french fucker saying”

[jay, rip]

i wanna stay up all night and jump around until we see the sun i wanna stay up all night and find a girl and tell her she’s the one, hold on to the feeling and don’t let it gooooooo

[jay, rip]

there’s a group of high schoolers touring campus right now and i’m tempted to tell them to run while they still can

[Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgotten]

jay wrote: "Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgetten wrote: "jay wrote: "aww that sounds so cute! thank you"

Np! I hope it helps :)"

i actually downloaded oasis and played for an hour straight last night"

Isn't it adorable and relaxing???

[jay, rip]

it really is! the taps are so soothing

[Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgotten]

Glad to hear it! I hope it helps <3

[jay, rip]

thank you!

[jay, rip]

my cats are the cutest, fight me

[jay, rip]

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THE BEST PART OF ME WAS ALWAYS YOU

[jay, rip]

jay wrote: "my cats are the cutest, fight me"

they cuddle us extra when we’re sad and lick away tears

[jay, rip]

misha thinks i’m fuckin nuts bc of how many kisses i’ve given her today

[jay, rip]

my mom called me to ask me to turn off the stove and somehow she kept me on the phone for eight full minutes talking about how my dad is SUCH a scorpio and i’m like... why the fuck aren’t you hanging up

[jay, rip]

i fucking hate long phone calls with her

[jay, rip]

she literally asked me the same question four times

[jay, rip]

i was like... ok.... hang the fuck up...

[jay, rip]

eventually i told her that milo was crying and i had to go find him and she’s like “ok i’ll talk to you later bye”

[jay, rip]

who the fuck cares about how my dad has anxiety bc he was born in november, who the fuck talks about that FOR EIGHT MINUTES

[jay, rip]

it could’ve been a THREE WORD TEXT but she turned it into an EIGHT MINUTE CALL

[Lexa]

The horror

[jay, rip]

so i’m officially job hunting,,,,
i’ve narrowed it down to three choices so far ope

so my number one is this hipster coffee shop downtown that i go to a lot, i’d be a barista
number two is barnes and nobel
annnnd number three is this greenhouse/nursery/gardening place, it’s independantly owned and they have cool plants

[s]

jay wrote: "also my cats litter smelled so fucking bad that i was gagging and i had to put on a surgical mask to scoop it"

me

[[deleted user]]

literally anything but a barista jay

[[deleted user]]

Angel wrote: "literally anything but a barista jay"

Hey being a barista is great!

[jay, rip]

all the best people are baristas uwu

[Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgotten]

That statement can't be valid because I'm not a barista. ;)

[jay, rip]

good point! 😂

[jay, rip]

are you living in a nightmare, one that eats away your soul... does it leave you feeling empty, does it leave you feeling cold?

[jay, rip]

why isn’t my depression going away

[jay, rip]

also??? i figured out what makes this depressive episode so much worse than the others??

so i was going through my 2015 depression playlist and the primary theme of most of those songs was being so numb to everything, not being able to feel normal human emotions, feeling like a machine just going through the motions, yknow? songs like I Am Machine by TDG or Numb by LP.

so i was like... ok, clearly i wasn’t feeling normal emotions, i was numb to everything coming at me, i couldn’t feel anything except anger (at literally everything and everyone). i thought it was the worst thing in the world, the worst thing was not being able to feel, was feeling like i was made of metal and screws like my heart was a piece of machinery instead of a human organ.

now, i’d give anything to be that numb again.

all i feel now is sadness. sadness, hopelessness, all of it. i feel like my heart— not even just my heart, my entire body— is full of rocks, heavy rocks just weighing me down that nobody else can see. i’m not being forced to go through the motions, i’m going through the motions but my hypersensitivity is 1000000% higher, every sense is heightened, every breath i take is just... it feels like every breath i take is full of melancholy and grief and it’s like i’m being choked to death by my own emotions because i’m so full of them.

i would give anything to go back to being so numb again. i would give anything to stop feeling, because if feeling means this much hurting, i don’t want to feel.

[jay, rip]

I don’t even know what i should tell my therapist. i don’t know what to tell anyone.

[jay, rip]

i feel like i isolated myself and now i’m stuck on a deserted island and i can’t swim away

[jay, rip]

i’m in a depressed funk like nothing i’ve ever felt before and i can’t seem to get myself out of it

[jay, rip]

my phq9 is like at a 24 right now

[jay, rip]

two months ago, it was a 6

[jay, rip]

the FBI agent assigned to me is currently typing out a text that says “you okay fam?” after reading all of this

[jay, rip]

it’s funny how my only source of comfort right now if the fact that somewhere out there, there’s a government employee who cares about me

[jay, rip]

i just want the strength to go on.

[jay, rip]

i don’t have it right now, but i want it.

[jay, rip]

it’s like the japanese radish that gives you enough energy to walk 28 feet but the next radish is 29 feet away

[jay, rip]

man you know shits bad when i’m continuing to reference memes in the middle of my demise

[jay, rip]

i need a hug. a reallllllly big, really long hug

[kavi ~he-him~]

hey jay! *hugs you*