chin up and we'll drown a little slower; Showing 44,251-44,300 of 46,581

[princess maggie]

jay wrote: "ALSO apparently, in terms of years, BC means before christ, right. so why ON EARTHHHH was jesus born in 4 BC? shouldn't he have been born in 0 BC? because.. before christ...."

whats really confusing is that people always assume that a.d. stands for "after death" so after jesus rose from the dead, but it actually means anno domini which translates to "in the year of the lord" which was the year jesus was born. most biblical scholars prefer to use b.c.e. and c.e. instead bc of how misleading the other way can be.

[jay, rip]

honestly religious stuff just confuses me no matter how hard i try to understand it ajsjjsndn

[jay, rip]

i don’t hate you, i just wanna save you while there’s still something left to say

[jay, rip]

casual sex- my darkest days

[jay, rip]

i post this shit as if i’m actually getting laid, i’m. not.

[jay, rip]

sex workers = valid :)

[jay, rip]

the college radio station @ my school is doing a battle of the bands today and mmmmmMMMMMmm should i go

[jay, rip]

PEMWICIAC

[jay, rip]

jay wrote: "PEMWICIAC"

please excuse me while i cry in a corner

[jay, rip]

i’m so fuckin dehydrated like my lower back aches and i think it’s my kidneys and my pee is like a really really dark yellow/almost brownish and i can’t remember the last time i drank water?? so i just chugged a bottle and it made me realize how thirsty i am and tbh. it’s probably been a couple days. because i forgot to take meds all day yesterday so i wasn’t drinking a sip with my pills.

[jay, rip]

i also highkey get dehydrated faster than the average person because my hyperhidrosis is so bad that my body is constantly pushing water out but not getting enough water in

[jay, rip]

also today i was in a weird mood again so i kind of laid down on a couch at school and next thing i knew, BB was sitting on the couch where my head was to pet my hair and make sure i was okay

[jay, rip]

MK asked me if me and BB were dating lmao

[jay, rip]

bc i sniffed my varsity jacket which BB had cuddled earlier in the day and was like “damn this smells like him” and MK was like “are you guys a thing” and i had to explain that a relationship between the two of us would, in fact, be very against the rules, and that he would never be interested in me anyway

[jay, rip]

i just love the fact that he loves and supports me and stuff

[jay, rip]

like today R was having anxiety about having to talk to their professor so i was like “if he has his number listed on the syllabus i can just call and pretend i’m you” bc R gets really bad phone anxiety and BB just smiled and did his lil proud dad headshake and was like “i love my beautiful gaybies”

[jay, rip]

tbh the sense of community that i get with these people is very very soothing

[jay, rip]

me: i think i should buy airpods
N: nah man wires are better
me: yeah i know but i want the airpod clout

[jay, rip]

a list of tattoos i want: an ongoing list

semicolon (that’ll match with charlie)
“country roads take me home” mountain range
pink triangle (maybe,,, depending on a few things)
harry potter page stars
gryffindor crest
anti possession tat
paw prints for W.S.
art from the journey GH album cover



TBC

[jay, rip]

semicolon and page stars will be on my wrists, pink triangle on my forearm, country roads take me home on my bicep, gryffindor crest and journey TBD, paw prints on my ankle, anti possession on my chest

[jay, rip]

yesterday MH tried to say that kid rock sings sweet home alabama and i was about ready to fight her

[jay, rip]

holy moly me oh my, you’re the apple of my eye

[jay, rip]

remember when i hit a couple of people with a paragraph about how i can’t put in words how much i love you so here’s a song to describe it for me
and then i sent eminem singing ‘moms spaghetti’ in repeat for five minutes and then charlie was like that’s it i want a divorce

[jay, rip]

also this is gonna sound really stupid but i already wrote my best man’s speech for charlie’s wedding ope

[jay, rip]

i’m happy. i’m so fucking happy that they’re happy.

[jay, rip]

AK makes them happier than i’ve seen them in a while and it just... it warms my heart??

[jay, rip]

if money were no object, i’d buy them a big countryside home with a huge garden with a lake view as their wedding present

[jay, rip]

alright, i found a pretty good baseline for the first tat that i want. there are a few things i want to change about it. the moon in the orginall design is a full moon but i want it to be a crescent, i want the tree to be a bit fuller and then i want to add the words in a typewriter font. i’m gonna DM the tat artist i want to commission for it.

[jay, rip]

the artist i picked has a great style and she’s indie so it works out to be cheaper than a parlor, plus she’s queer af and uses vegan ink

[jay, rip]

my cat is in surgery rn and i’ve called the vets office twice already to ask about him and the secretary is really annoyed of me because i keep calling but i am just Full Of Anxiety because MY BABY IS GETTING SURGERY

[jay, rip]

they’re removing his balls 😢

[jay, rip]

i mean it’s a good thing bc he’s a pervert and i don’t want him knocking up his sister but damn i just want his surgery to finish so the vet can call me and let me know if he’s alright

[jay, rip]

mtired

[princess maggie]

if we have a boy i swear to god hes going to treat girls or boys the RIGHT way bc im not gonna raise no ass of a son

[princess maggie]

sorry that was random. ily ❤

[jay, rip]

ily ❤️

[jay, rip]

it only hurts just once

[jay, rip]

i’m literally so stressed to the point where i feel like i’m gonna barf and to be fuckin honest i really want to curl up and just cry and maybe eat some cheese

[jay, rip]

my mom did something really bad yesterday and normally when she does this shit to me i’m like whatever, but the fact that she did it to two other innocent souls who have no idea what’s going on, i want to fucking scream

[jay, rip]

so yeah pretty much my life is A Mess and i don’t see my therapist again for another week and a half and i feel like i’m on the verge of yet another mental breakdown

[jay, rip]

hopefully this time the breakdown occurs somewhere other than the middle of the natural sciences building

[jay, rip]

like okay, i’ve had rough mental health time periods before, but i genuinely think that this is one of the worst. i’m a Big Fuckin Mess.

[jay, rip]

i’ve been in hospitals when i was in a crisis that wasn’t as bad as this one

[jay, rip]

i’m going to try to email my old therapist and see if she has any good coping techniques for me to get through this time. i don’t want to tell my current therapist because if she knew how bad things were at the moment she’d send me to the ER in a matter of minutes. and the thing is, me being in a hospital would be good for my mental health and recovery stuff and to help me get through this relapse and be safe, but it would not be good for my stress and anxiety levels. it would just cause more things to pile up on me, more assignments with incoming due dates, it would take up at least a week of classes, it would mean that i wouldn’t be able to see my cats for at least a few days, it would just be awful in general for my overall situation. like it’d be a temporary one-week fix, but it would not be a solution.

[jay, rip]

i’m trying to just take things slow, get through this weekend and then get through the next few days till spring break and then get through a couple more weeks and then get through finals and then be free for two semesters, but i can’t seem to even get through this minute.

[jay, rip]

it’s 3 pm and the last thing i remember eating was a couple of fries for dinner yesterday

[jay, rip]

okay, i’m gonna just... breathe... and take a break... and eat something... and then i’m gonna get back to work on stuff but in a calm way so i don’t spiral.

[jay, rip]

when ur trying to compile ur code but for some reason the intro to baby shark starts playing in ur head on repeat

[jay, rip]

anyway, i want pasta.

[jay, rip]

ohh maybe if i get a lot done today then tmr i'll bake fresh bread and make a pasta dish