it's personal discussion
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chin up and we'll drown a little slower;
Star Wars episode 4: A New HopeStar Wars episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back
Star Wars episode 6: The Return of the Jedi
Two words.
Han.
Solo.
Wait, shouldn't it start with episode one...?
Ayah {Forget our memories, forget our possibilities} wrote: "Wait, shouldn't it start with episode one...?"No. No you should not.
Episodes 1, 2, and 3 are prequels. They all came out much later. 4,5, and 6 all came out in the 70's-80's.
They were meant to be seen first.
Realization: The first conversations I had with two of the people I love most in this world were BOTH about the Dallas Cowboys.
Are you freaking kidding me? XD
Nope XD I just realized that XD
With the other person, we were hating on the Cowboys though XD
With the other person, we were hating on the Cowboys though XD
Haha. XD That's freakin PERFECT.Oh. .-.
This is like friggin West Side Story, dude.
Yes, yes it is XD
Right on :P
Right on :P
So.I think we're scientific proof that there are sports dorks. XD
Oh hell yes. Never a doubt there. We are every type of dork rolled into one.
National Geographic should do a story on us.
I can see it now: "Nattie and Zed: The two not-so-ordinary girls that inspired the research behind a whole new type of dork."
And the cover photo could be us wearing football jerseys and wizard get-ups. XD
Day fifteen- write 15 interesting facts about yourself.
15 interesting facts about me:
1. I drink coffee creamer. You know that liquid milk-ish Coffee Mate stuff that comes in French Vanilla and a bunch of other flavors? Bottoms up. I love the stuff and it is soooo unhealthy, so I have to sneak it behind my mom’s back to avoid being snapped at. (Yes, I know, I’m the lamest sort of teenage rebel there is. I sneak freaking coffee creamer into the house instead of alcohol.)
2. I have a totally girly side that none of you have ever seen. Shocking, right? Everyone always sees me as this short-haired chick who’s overly obsessed with football and devotes her entire life to the Detroit Tigers and wears a different jersey every day. But seriously, it hasn’t been that way lately. I’ve been embracing my inner traditional femininity. I mean, I still love sports like I love my cat, but I haven’t worn a jersey all summer, and I’ve been dressing quite snazzily. It’s weird to the people around me, but none of you have ever seen this girly-Ayah. The closest it’s come was me going nuts about a pair of lace-up oxford heels to Peter. Honestly, unless you’ve seen me in J. Crew, you’ve got a lot to discover about me. XD
3. I used to be really popular. From when I first started school until about two years ago, EVERYBODY knew who I was. Every teacher, student, even the janitor knew my name. I had a lot of friends, an equally popular boyfriend, and randomly when walking through the halls, people I didn’t even know would say hi. I’m not trying to sound stuck-up or anything, but no joke, I got into the habit of tucking my long (yes, it used to be long.) hair up into a bun and sticking a pencil through it, and then suddenly everyone would have writing utensils up in their hair. It was kind of crazy, but it was a lot of fun.
4. I wasn’t always introverted. I’m currently the type of person that has more conversations with myself then I do with other people, but I wasn’t always like this. Back in my popular days, I was talkative, friendly, and nearly never awkward. I always knew what to say, people always wanted to talk to me. So, yup, I used to be an extrovert.
5. I collect piggy banks. I know, I’m weird. But I have a shelf for them, and they are freaking awesome. I have a bunch from various places around the world, some are gifts, a few are handpainted, and one of them was won on a game show.
6. At any given time, there’s a 90% chance I’m chewing gum. No exaggeration here. It helps me concentrate, and it’s a great substitute for nail-biting. My favorite at the moment is Juicy Fruit’s Strawberry Starburst flavor, because it smells amazing and doesn’t lose it’s flavor. Weirdly enough, I don’t really like classic spearmint flavors…. I mean, I’ll chew it if there’s nothing else available but I’d take Bubblegum Big League Chew over that any day.
7. I’m very neat and organized. I know my journal is a mess of spam, but my room is spotless, all the time. I get nervous if something’s out of place. (And no, I am NOT OCD.). The amount of clothing I have is kinds crazy, and you’d expect it all to be thrown on hangers and shoved in drawers, but nope. Shoes, jeans, hoodies, sweaters, tops, all of it is sorted by season and color, hung up, folded, shelved, nice and neatly. As they should be. I guess my love of hand sanitizer kind of goes with this… I don’t like germs any more than I like clutter.
8. I have dermatographia. As much as I generally hate my plethora of weird and annoying medical conditions, I think this one is really, really cool. It’s basically the ability to “write” on your skin. So if you were to scratch a pattern, even very lightly, on my skin, in a few seconds it’ll be swollen into that pattern. I’ve seen quite a few people online use this to create art, and sometimes it’s really beautiful. It’s useful for freaking my brother out too. :P
9. I’m an adrenaline junkie. Rollercoasters, ziplining, rock climbing with a purposely loose harness, mountain biking, anything and everything that’ll give me a rush. I’m limited, because my health is stupid, so I can’t do a lot of the things I used to. But that just makes it more fun, now doesn’t it?
10. I hate water. Funny, because I live in a state surrounded by it. But even showering freaks me out sometimes. I guess I can swim, if you count doggy paddling, but I don’t do it willingly. It has a lot to do with the fact that I can’t hold my breath, I think. It’s just trippy. I have legs for walking, not for swimming.
11. I have a huge family tree, and the branches are woven together. Here’s where everything gets complicated. My mom’s sister and my dad’s brother are married. Their kids and my siblings all grew up together, and my double-cousins consider themselves a part of our immediately family. Confused? I thought so. I’m not done though. My dad and his brother, who is married to my maternal aunt, have an uncle (So my great uncle) who is married to my mom’s OLDEST sister, not to be confused with the sister who married my paternal uncle. The best part is, my great uncle had no idea that his sister in law was marrying his nephew until the day of the wedding. So it was nearly all by chance.
12. I’ve used men’s cologne on numerous occasions. I seriously LOVE the smell of my brother’s Givenchy Play and my dad’s YSL L’Homme, a lot better than my Marc Jacobs Daisy. So, I’ve let myself indulge in a few sprays of either before going somewhere nice. Two nights ago, I was guilty of that. My sister actually commented on it, saying I smelled nice, but “like a boy.” I blamed it on the tie I wearing, which was borrowed from my big bro.
13. I’ve been told that I look and act like Young Winona Ryder. I can kind of see the resemblance, in the pictures where she has short, dark hair from the era in which she was dating Johnny Depp. As for acting like her, I don’t really know how she acted. XD But from what I’ve been told, she was carefree and tomboyish but had an edge. She also dressed in men’s suits and leather jackets, very similar to me, and had a preppy vibe, also very similar to me.
14. I used to be a ballerina. Go on, freak out about how un-Ayah-ish that is. But I rocked it for quite a while. I was pretty young, but even then I had enough sense to switch to black leotards after a year of pink. Toe shoes were my calling back then… and I was pretty good, I think. I stopped dancing when I got the swine flu, but I do plan on going back to that dance academy for a ballroom dance class.
15. I’m a horrible liar. I learned this the hard way. But whenever I lie, I apparently get really shaky and can’t make eye contact. The thing about this that puzzles me is that of all people, my mom can detect this the best. She knows exactly when I’m lying, but the thing is, she doesn’t point it out. I think she knows I’m hiding things, and it freaks me out to think that she doesn’t want to know what I’m hiding. I lie to cover things up all the time. (example: “What’s wrong?” “Nothing.” Even though there is something wrong, but it’s something that can potentially hurt the person.). But usually, everybody can tell. Which sucks.
I must have these and I must have these now.
You see, I trusted you too well and I'm mad at myself for that.
I've pissed off everyone I talked to today except for Kassi and Z oops
3 Doors Down playing in the food court again.
Well somebody's uncharacteristicly energetic :p
Mod
Yayyy
This movie's kinda boring so far…
And it's looooooonnnngggggg.
I'm also confused about a lot of stuff going on here. My fault though… my mind's elsewhere. I can't concentrate properly.
And it's looooooonnnngggggg.
I'm also confused about a lot of stuff going on here. My fault though… my mind's elsewhere. I can't concentrate properly.
Aaaaannnnd that's why I don't eat with anyone who can't tell the difference between a dessert spoon and a soup spoon -_-
Sometimes I forget that I literally have nothing to live for.
I've never been so terrified.
You would be too if you knew me.
Day 17- Your highs and lows of this past year.
This past year, so… September 2014 to August 2015.
Jeez. Get more personal, will ya?
From September to mid-February-ish, it was all part of one big low. I had been in a social and emotional rut for a while, and that was just a continuation of it. I was in a dark place, darker than I’d ever been in before. But things got a bit better in the February-March time of year… maybe not totally better, but it was bit of hope. A tiny spark of it, yes, but it did shed a light, no matter how small.
So as time passed this light grew, and grew, until it was blinding. In April-May-ish, I reached the highest point I’d been on for a while. Sure, sometimes things got dark but I’d always have this… reminder… that things were going to be okay.
Mid-June is where it started to go downhill. I realized that me being happy was a fluke. It shouldn’t have happened and it was over. It wouldn’t ever be the same again, not like that. In a way, I guess it happened gradually. Everything since the middle of June had been leading up to it and then eventually, one day towards the end of the month, it all came crashing down.
So that was the start of my current low. Some days since, I’ve been happy. But it’s rare, and short lived. It always poofs away, no matter how hard I try to get it to stay. I don’t know what’ll become of this, but I know for a fact that there isn’t going to be a Happily Ever After. Good things like that don’t happen to people like me.
Never have I watched a more confusing episode of television.
But all my favorite dead characters are back… Charlie and Boone… even though I watched Charlie in LoTR yesterday… but still. Hobbit Charlie isn't the same as DriveShaft Charlie.
And wtf happened to Claire and I freaking hate Juliet and I ship Kate and Sawyer so hard and why the fudge are there two John Lockes and WAIT UP CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW DESMOND WAS ON THE PLANE but not really because idek if the plane crashed or not bcz there's two story lines going on at once that take place in the same time period and with the same characters :')
And wait up where tf was Shannon because she was on the plane the first time around…
Lol Jack though he's just like 'lemme set off a hydrogen bomb and kill all yall to save the island' and then he ended up killing Juliet who he slept with who also slept with Sawyer who slept with Kate who slept with Jack who was raising Claire's baby with Kate but didn't know he was Claire's half brother but we don't even know if Claire is alive because last time I saw that chick was when she was in Jacob's cabin (which is now blown up and Jacob was killed by John Locke who wasn't really John Locke because the real John Locke is dead and this was the smoke monster who is apparently human in the form of John Locke) and she was just chilling with her and Jack's dad who's actually dead but not really because his coffin was empty wayyyy back in season one.
Also I got banned from working out bcz I lost too much weight again and I really want waffles with whipped cream on top and OH DAMN I FORGOT TMRW IS SATURDAY UGH we better not go out to breakfast because I'm so sick of that -_-
And I wanna go to Saks and Nordstrom's and J. Crew because I need new tops (not really because I have 728292901382919 unworn tops but I saw stuff online I wanted) and I want Uggs and it can't wait until winter because by then everyone else will have theirs and I, for some reason, and compelled to be FIRST, always, and I want a vest from J. Crew because my navy one is starting to look a bit shabby sO LONG STORY SHORt I want to make waffles and go shopping, not have breakfast at a diner tmrw morning.
Mmm… I still feel like rambling… I also need to go and get my nails done… because cocktail party for one of my dads clients on Sunday… and I'm supposed to look nice -_- I just don't know what color to do tho because my outfits black and white but both of those in shellac are lame so idk maybe a pale pink or burgundy or something I don't knowwwww…
Lol I'm so weirded out right now because I'm suddenly in a good mood which is really random because I've been pissed at the world for like four days now because Monday :')
Anyway so the Lions won their first preseason game but I only watched the first quarter bcz my brothers baseball team was in the playoffs (they lost btw :p) and the Tigers just lost to the goddamn Astros because goddamn Brad Ausmus did exactly what I wanted him to do and basically we're screwed for like three years because Mike Illitch is cheap but not really I just need someone to blame because we threw away the season.
Annnnnndddddd I really need to change bcz I'm in daywear and I honestly look downright fabulous but you can't exactly lay in bed properly if you're wearing jeans and still have a tote bag slung over your shoulder (I love this tote even though I carry it like once a year. It's navy and white L.L. Bean and it has my initials monogrammed on it) so I should probably end this and go get into a nightshirt or something because I don't feel like wearing pants and nightgowns are too silky for hot nights like these so I guess I'm sleeping in a really long button down and I should probably drink water because I haven't all day but :/
What am I even saying XD This is literally incoherent rambling XD I guess this is what happens when I don't work out and stay up late oops sorry guys. Ignore this whole post please XD
But all my favorite dead characters are back… Charlie and Boone… even though I watched Charlie in LoTR yesterday… but still. Hobbit Charlie isn't the same as DriveShaft Charlie.
And wtf happened to Claire and I freaking hate Juliet and I ship Kate and Sawyer so hard and why the fudge are there two John Lockes and WAIT UP CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW DESMOND WAS ON THE PLANE but not really because idek if the plane crashed or not bcz there's two story lines going on at once that take place in the same time period and with the same characters :')
And wait up where tf was Shannon because she was on the plane the first time around…
Lol Jack though he's just like 'lemme set off a hydrogen bomb and kill all yall to save the island' and then he ended up killing Juliet who he slept with who also slept with Sawyer who slept with Kate who slept with Jack who was raising Claire's baby with Kate but didn't know he was Claire's half brother but we don't even know if Claire is alive because last time I saw that chick was when she was in Jacob's cabin (which is now blown up and Jacob was killed by John Locke who wasn't really John Locke because the real John Locke is dead and this was the smoke monster who is apparently human in the form of John Locke) and she was just chilling with her and Jack's dad who's actually dead but not really because his coffin was empty wayyyy back in season one.
Also I got banned from working out bcz I lost too much weight again and I really want waffles with whipped cream on top and OH DAMN I FORGOT TMRW IS SATURDAY UGH we better not go out to breakfast because I'm so sick of that -_-
And I wanna go to Saks and Nordstrom's and J. Crew because I need new tops (not really because I have 728292901382919 unworn tops but I saw stuff online I wanted) and I want Uggs and it can't wait until winter because by then everyone else will have theirs and I, for some reason, and compelled to be FIRST, always, and I want a vest from J. Crew because my navy one is starting to look a bit shabby sO LONG STORY SHORt I want to make waffles and go shopping, not have breakfast at a diner tmrw morning.
Mmm… I still feel like rambling… I also need to go and get my nails done… because cocktail party for one of my dads clients on Sunday… and I'm supposed to look nice -_- I just don't know what color to do tho because my outfits black and white but both of those in shellac are lame so idk maybe a pale pink or burgundy or something I don't knowwwww…
Lol I'm so weirded out right now because I'm suddenly in a good mood which is really random because I've been pissed at the world for like four days now because Monday :')
Anyway so the Lions won their first preseason game but I only watched the first quarter bcz my brothers baseball team was in the playoffs (they lost btw :p) and the Tigers just lost to the goddamn Astros because goddamn Brad Ausmus did exactly what I wanted him to do and basically we're screwed for like three years because Mike Illitch is cheap but not really I just need someone to blame because we threw away the season.
Annnnnndddddd I really need to change bcz I'm in daywear and I honestly look downright fabulous but you can't exactly lay in bed properly if you're wearing jeans and still have a tote bag slung over your shoulder (I love this tote even though I carry it like once a year. It's navy and white L.L. Bean and it has my initials monogrammed on it) so I should probably end this and go get into a nightshirt or something because I don't feel like wearing pants and nightgowns are too silky for hot nights like these so I guess I'm sleeping in a really long button down and I should probably drink water because I haven't all day but :/
What am I even saying XD This is literally incoherent rambling XD I guess this is what happens when I don't work out and stay up late oops sorry guys. Ignore this whole post please XD
Hey Nat! :DI'm about to sign off for the weekend, but I can check my PMs sometime tomorrow, so send me one if ya want, okay?
Love you, sis. -Z
Was that permission to spam your inbox?
As if you had to ask. XD
Not really here. Just managed to get online on my brothers laptop. Love you all and just wanted to let you guys know that I'm okay.
Good to know. <33Hope we see ya soon, Nat.
Why is it that whenever I manage to get online, no one else is here?
Update for anyone to cares.
Therapy's going good, which is the opposite of what I expected. There's a lot of talking, of course, and I'm not really much of a fan of that. But when I get particularly angry, I get to blast music really really loudly and throw paint at a wall to "release tension". It's messy but it works. I've gained 5 pounds, too, and I guess that's good but I'm a bit worried about messing up my figure. I'll probably be able to get online more often next week, because I don't think things will be as strict/monitored constantly then.
Overall I guess it's working... of course I won't be completely "fixed" by the end of all this, which is why I'll have to go in for biweekly appointments for at least a year... but I guess that's not so bad.
[And there isn't any electrodes]XOXO, Ayah.
(Wait, did I really just sign my own journal post? o.O)
Mod
I'm here, mwama!!!
Ayah Lou Who wrote: "Why is it that whenever I manage to get online, no one else is here?Update for anyone to cares.
Therapy's going good, which is the opposite of what I expected. There's a lot of talking, of cour..."
<333 That's my girl.
I never knew life could be so difficult.
These choices are starting to get to my head.
Driving me nuts.
I don't know what to do and I have to decide quickly before I drive myself mad.
I just… I don't know if I should get a nutella or red velvet frappucino?
These choices are starting to get to my head.
Driving me nuts.
I don't know what to do and I have to decide quickly before I drive myself mad.
I just… I don't know if I should get a nutella or red velvet frappucino?
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
The Past and Other Things That Should Stay Buried (other topics)Will Grayson, Will Grayson (other topics)
Bridge of Clay (other topics)
The Art of Being Normal (other topics)
Clockwork Princess (other topics)
More...
Authors mentioned in this topic
E.B. White (other topics)Sidney Sheldon (other topics)
Jane Austen (other topics)
Conclusion: The Batman movies are the best trilogy of all time."
Agreed... and LOTR..."
*cough, cough* STAR ..."
Give me a list of the movies in order and I'll watch them :P