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Journals : G-I > I Grew Up in the Rain, and it's Followed Me to Where I Am Now ~ The Journal of a Ta'Veren ~ Rated R

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Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments Gandalf wrote: "Gandalf wrote: "Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: "Jesus, Grace, I thought we were friends."

You ARE friends, but if you're going to completely flip out over the smallest, dumbest things NOBODY w..."


What about this morning? When you called me a "pompous pitiful prick?"


message 102: by Joseph (new)

Joseph (filius) | 395 comments Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: "Gandalf wrote: "Gandalf wrote: "Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: "Jesus, Grace, I thought we were friends."

You ARE friends, but if you're going to completely flip out over the smallest, dumbest..."


Yeah, that, too.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments Hm. Fine. I'll come back.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments May I have the link?


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments I hate to see my friends in pain. Especially the ones that helped me, and I care about.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments I feel like the people who can help me through my darkness are the ones who deserve to have easy lives.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments Why is life so hard? Has everyone just become whiny babies?


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments You don't hear about this kinda thing from the stories of the old days.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments It makes no sense.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments But I swear I will help every person I care about through their difficulties; I've been there.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments I'm still half there, but I'm fighting it. For Emily.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments We can't destroy our demons, but we can damn well keep them in check.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments Or, you know, try. Our best. That's what human life is all about, isn't it? Giving it your all? I think most people have forgotten that.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments But nobody, nobody is gonna tell me to change. I'm me. And if you don't like it, you can fuck off. I'm back, bitches.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments No more of this depression shit. I've seen too many fall to it. And I'm gonna help the souls who helped me out of my own personal hell to get through it as well. I'll open the way. Fuck it, I'll tear a fucking hole the size of Jupiter in that fucking bitch's trap. NO MORE DEPRESSION, WORLD! YOU FUCKIN' HEAR ME!? NO MORE! I'LL TEAR YOUR ASS TO SHREDS BEFORE I LOSE ANOTHER FRIEND!


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments Jeez, I cuss a lot.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments Just tryin' ta get my point across.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments Man, I've been really inactive on my journal for a while. Ah well, that'll change.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments RANDOM AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY!:
"Can I Get a Witness?" By Sonreal
For: Damn near everyone around me.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments Shots fired

Back to the future
Catching air like I hit a Floaty Booter
Move, bitch, out the way like I'm Luda
I'm making moves like I'm doing Kama Sutra
Doing kama sutra
Move, bitch, out the way like I'm Luda
Doing kama sutra
Move, bitch, out the way like I'm Luda, hold up

"I fell in love with you cause you made me feel
I fell in love with you cause you kept it real
Man, you done changed up on me, you changed your flow
Now I been hating on you everywhere I go"
Um, hold up

No, I ain't too flawless and no, I ain't the best
And no, I don't say sorry and no, I ain't perfect
But I am the man, I am the man
Shots fired

Back to my business
Used to dreaming, now I muhfuckin' live this
Kill this shit, mister, can I get a witness?
Yelling "Move, bitch" like we doing fitness
Can I get a witness?
Yelling "Move, bitch" like we doing fitness
Can I get a witness?
Yelling "Move, bitch" like we doing fitness

"I fell in love with you off that first mixtape
I fell in love with you cause rap ain't my thing
I thought that you were different, I guess I's wrong
Cause I ain't fucking with none of your new songs"
Um, hold up

No, I ain't too flawless and no, I ain't the best
And no, I don't say sorry and no, I ain't perfect
But I am the man, I am the man
Shots fired

I am the man, no, I ain't aim for no crown
But when you mention them, no, don't leave me out

No, I ain't too flawless and no, I ain't the best
And no, I don't say sorry and no, I ain't perfect
But I am the man, I am the man
Shots fired


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments I love Sonreal.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments Woot! I get to make my summer playlist tonight!


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments I'll have a link to my Spotify tomorrow.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments *raises middle finger to practically everyone I know*

"No, I ain't too flawless and no, I ain't the best
And no, I don't say sorry and no, I ain't perfect
But I am the man, I am the man"

My life. Couldn't care less. Said it several times, I'll say it again:
I'ma be me, the rest of you can go and..... *smirks* Do obscene things to yourselves.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments I just realized that the music I listen to reflects very accurately how I feel.


message 126: by [deleted user] (new)

Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: "I'll have a link to my Spotify tomorrow."

I might just listen since I like listening to new music!


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments RANDOM AWESOME SONG OF THE DAY:
"Sound of Change" by Dirty Heads
For: My closest friends. Callan, Nerdy, Emily, Daily, Lauren... Why are they all girls? Hm. I guess they're just more trustworthy than boys.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments I see you've been chasing your monsters
And they've been driving you bonkers
Just blind them with Rocket Launchers
Of light and to blow out their conscience
If you really want to juxtapose
And take a darker color with a blush of rose
And then you put it in your ink and watch it grow
Your mind is always open when your eyes are closed
Because you're blind to color and your blind to creed
You're blind to all the things that you don't need
Then you find a mind and then you plant a seed
Then you nourish it a little let it free

You're building it up
And they're breaking it down
Wanna give up
But keep holding your ground
Turning it up
But they're deaf to the sound
Oh the sound the sound of change

I can hear it now, the horns are playing
The victory sound, I live in the now
The sky is my home, and I live in the clouds
Now or never, bound forever
Making a change, making it better
I live for this shit, I love the pain
It's part of the journey, it's part of the game
I've been alone in the dark and the rain
I've seen the end and I wasn't afraid
I've been in tears and I wasn't ashamed
I hear a sound the sound that I'm hearing is change

You're building it up
And they're breaking it down
Wanna give up
But keep holding your ground
Turning it up
But they're deaf to the sound
Oh the sound the sound of change

You're building it up
And they're breaking it down
Wanna give up
But keep holding your ground
You're turning it up
But they're deaf to the sound
Oh the sound the sound of change

Well they try to put hands on my ears
Oh oh the sound
In my heart I'm still hearing it clear
Oh oh the sound
Tell me why do they fear what is real?
Oh oh the sound
You can't stop what is already here
Oh oh the sound

You're building it up
And they're breaking it down
Wanna give up
But keep holding your ground
You're turning it up
But they're deaf to the sound
Oh the sound the sound of change

You're building it up
And they're breaking it down
Wanna give up
But keep holding your ground
You're turning it up
But they're deaf to the sound
Oh the sound the sound of change

OOOoooOO oh oh oh oh
OOOoooOO oh oh oh oh
OOOoooOO oh oh oh oh
Oh the sound the sound of change

OOOoooOO oh oh oh oh
OOOoooOO oh Oh oh oh
OOOoooOO oh oh oh oh
Oh the sound the sound of change


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments Trey wrote: "Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: "I'll have a link to my Spotify tomorrow."

I might just listen since I like listening to new music!"


Yeah, I'll have it up right after school. At around 4:30 my time. In.... 7 hours 45 mins.


message 130: by [deleted user] (new)

*Thumbs Up*


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments Sorry, it's really hard to find time.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments I'll do it eventually....


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments Also, again?! Are you fucking kidding me? I thought this 'gang up on Michael' shit was over.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments Fuck, all I ask for is respect. Is that so much? And no, I'm not overreacting. I get to act like this when my friends fucking do stupid ass shit like this.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments I'm not being fucking dramatic. I get to feel however the hell I want. And I'm pissed.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments This is stupid ass shit. Fucking ridiculous that I can't trust you guys; who're supposed to be my friends.


message 137: by [deleted user] (new)

Wait, what do you mean? What happened?


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments Just people being dumb. I got over it; I always do....


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments It's 3:11 and I can't sleep. Bored as hell, though. To the point where I'm sneaking on my phone just to have a place to talk to myself. Idk, maybe I'll try to sleep. My dog's breathing is a steady, relaxing sound. Too much on my mind, I guess.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments I'm so excited for the Sunday after next. I'm hosting a scary movie night at my house, and Em said she'd come. It's great. More time I get to spend with her. She is the person I enjoy hanging out with the most. The second most is probably my dog. No offense, guys, but you'd understand if you knew him. he's fantastic. Which is why I almost eviscerated the kid who called him a fag. Asshole punk. You'll be a freshman next year, and I'llbe a junior. I hope to God you tread on my toes, so I can find a way to punish you. Sometimes, Karma's just too slow.....


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments Oh, and while I'm talking about stupid people....

I can't believe how long it took me to realize I put my journal in the wrong folder! AND I'm tired. And I still figured it out before my fully woken self....... *shakes head* Tomorrow, when I use a computer (or maybe the day after; IDK yet.) I'll fix it. Rn, I should probably be going to bed......




Goodnight, no one! Lol.


message 142: by NerdyJediGymnast (new)

NerdyJediGymnast | 15013 comments Sirius (Malakalato) Wagner [For the summer...] wrote: "I'm so excited for the Sunday after next. I'm hosting a scary movie night at my house, and Em said she'd come. It's great. More time I get to spend with her. She is the person I enjoy hanging out w..."

I love my dogs too!!!!


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments Sirius (Malakalato) Wagner [For the summer...] wrote: "I'm so excited for the Sunday after next. I'm hosting a scary movie night at my house, and Em said she'd come. It's great. More time I get to spend with her. She is the person I enjoy hanging out w..."

But of course nothing works out as it should. Shocker. Lol. I shoulda seen it coming.


Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua (padfoot8181) | 885 comments My journal has moved again! It's now under
Never Satisfied ~The Journal of a Modern Day Founding Father~


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