it's personal discussion
Journals : G-I
>
I Grew Up in the Rain, and it's Followed Me to Where I Am Now ~ The Journal of a Ta'Veren ~ Rated R
message 51:
by
Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua
(new)
May 17, 2017 07:44AM
Oh, that sucks.... But it's good that you're trying to be happy.
reply
|
flag
Hm... I know it's the wrong gender, but this song seems to highlight how I feel about Joseph. The Almighty Messiah.
La da da da taI'm gonna bury you in the ground
La da da da ta
I'm gonna bury you with my sound
I'm gonna drink the red from your pretty pink face
I'm gonna...
Sorry I don't treat you like a goddess,
Is that what you want me to do?
Sorry I don't treat you like you're perfect,
Like all your little loyal subjects do.
Sorry I'm not made of sugar,
Am I not sweet enough for you?
Is that why you always avoid me?
That must be such an inconvenience for you.
Well, I'm just your problem.
I'm just your problem.
It's like I'm not even a person, am I?
I'm just your problem.
Well, I shouldn't have to justify what I do.
I shouldn't have to prove anything to you.
I'm sorry that I exist,
I forget what landed me on your black list.
But I shouldn't have to be the one that makes up with you.
So, why do I want to? Why do I want to?
To... bury you in the ground... and drink the blood from your... UGH!
Nope never mind, thanks to some new information I gathered, I no longer care at all about him. Here's my new song for Joseph:
(GO!)This ain't a test, fuck the rest. Time to set the record straight.
Talk your shit behind my back, let's hear you say it to my face.
I've heard the words fall out your lips, you little trendy fuckin' bitch!
The time has come to get you some, cause I just do not give a shit.
Do you take me for a fool!?
How's it feel to be a tool!?
See to me you're just a cancer!
Motherfucker, war is the answer!
As of now the end begins, I want to laugh but there's no joke.
To eat with the beasts and run with the wolves on the ashes you must choke.
I know it's got to chap your ass, to think I just won't go away.
Affects me not, I'm writing you off, I've got nothing more to say.
Do you take me for a fool!?
How's it feel to be a tool!?
To me you're just a cancer!
Motherfucker, war is the answer!
(Get some!)
You wanna disrespect me, you little fuckin' punk?
Everything I've done to be who I am, as far as I've fuckin' come.
I'll slap you so fuckin' hard, it'll feel like you kissed a freight train.
Fuck you!
(Rawr!)
[Guitar Solo]
(Bam!)
Do you take me for a fool!?
How's it feel to be a tool!?
Talking shit behind my back.
See to me you're just a cancer!
The time has come to get you some.
Motherfucker, war is the answer!
Yeaaaaaah!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? "PITIFUL POMPOUS PRICK?!" YOU'RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE! AND BELIEVE ME, I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE YOU FUCKING DICKBAG! YOU... YOU... CUNT-WHORE! FUCKING SHIT! YOU CAN BURN IN HELL SO THAT WHEN I GET THERE I CAN KILL YOU!
Fuck, I need a break......
I'll probably be back in an hour or two.
If you want to know what happened, why not ask Joseph, the "Messiah?" He seems to know everything, so.....I hate him with every fiber of my being, and more. It's taking all of my willpower to not hunt him down and beat the shit out of him until he shuts his fat ass mouth. But I'm better than that. And him.
Sorry, I'm really mad at him. Now I'm leaving 'til I'm a bit calmer.
I thought so as well.
Until he started talking about me behind my back, and being an utter dick with no warning. I've told people many times, JUST TELL ME IF SOMETHING I'M DOING IS BUGGING YOU, AND I'LL CHANGE! I can't read your mind. And I can't change without knowing I need to. So just fucking tell me. Not this stupid disrespect shit. You know that's what triggers me, you fucking asshole, and that's why you're doing it. I hope you're having fun stalking my journal.
*hugs back*Thanks. I just... I'm caught off guard. I'm sick of being betrayed by my "best friends".
Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: "*hugs back*Thanks. I just... I'm caught off guard. I'm sick of being betrayed by my "best friends"."
Same. Happens on here and offline for me
It sucks but its good in a way. For me it shows me who my enemies are and shows who they really are
Yeah, but nobody seems to care that he kicked me from the group. So, all of them. Either they don't like standing up for people who're being bullied, or they're happy he's being mean. And I can't do anything about it. I'm not saying I'm gonna, I have too many things to live for, but this is the kinda thing that causes suicides and school shootings.
I've already been considering suicide, and this really doesn't help. If everyone hates me, then why should I even go on?
And if no one else likes you who gives a sh**? You worth more than any hater ok?
Its not about who likes you, its do you like them? And you should worry about you loving younott someone hating you
Yeah, but... You don't know me very well.Maybe that's why his words hurt so bad.
Maybe they're right.
Jesus Christ, I don't wanna feel this way.
I still blame this on him, but how much longer can I get away with convincing myself it's his fault?
I don't know anymore. I don't know if there's anyone I can trust.
I thought he was my best friend.
I'd love to trust people like you, but if it was easy enough for Joe to fake being my friend, how can anyone prove they actually care?
I'm being irrational, but it makes sense.
Ugh.
It's not my fault I am who I am. It's the way I was raised.
And right back into the hole/hell of depression I fall.
I don't even think Emily could save me this time.
NerdyJediGymnast wrote: "Its not about who likes you, its do you like them? And you should worry about you loving younott someone hating you"I know, but....
It's still hard.
When everyone hates you, you can't help but wonder if you're a bad person.
But what do I know? Im 14 and I aint Dr. Phil
Like, I've made my mistakes, but is everything I've said and done for the past months just mistakes?
Is my life just a series of horribleness?
Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: "Yeah, but... You don't know me very well.Maybe that's why his words hurt so bad.
Maybe they're right.
Jesus Christ, I don't wanna feel this way.
I still blame this on him, but how much longer can..."
Me trust people? Lol not too much
Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: "NerdyJediGymnast wrote: "Its not about who likes you, its do you like them? And you should worry about you loving younott someone hating you"I know, but....
It's still hard.
When everyone hates ..."
I know
Self, you're not gonna cry in the middle of Bio. You're not gonna cry at all. There's no need to give him the satisfaction.
I have to be strong. No one can know I'm weak.
Yeah, I'm sitting in the back lab station. We're watching a video about plants.
NerdyJediGymnast wrote: "Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: "Yeah, but... You don't know me very well.Maybe that's why his words hurt so bad.
Maybe they're right.
Jesus Christ, I don't wanna feel this way.
I still blame ..."
I meant trust people who're like you.
Nice. Seemingly trustworthy.
Jesus, Grace, I thought we were friends.
And this is what I get for trusting people.
It pisses me off that he won, and is off smiling and laughing with my ex-friends while I'm here alone and crying, but I can't do anything about it.
You need better friends. They need to change not you
*laughs bitterly*Yeah.
I spoke to God today, and she said that she's ashamed.What have I become, what have I done?
I spoke to the Devil today, and he swears he's not to blame.
And I understood, cause I feel the same.
Arms wide open, I stand alone.
I'm no hero, and I'm not made of stone.
Right or wrong, I can hardly tell.
I'm on the wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side of hell.
The wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side, righteous side of hell.
I heard from God today, and she sounded just like me.
What have I done, and who have I become.
I saw the Devil today, and he looked a lot like me.
I looked away, I turned away!
Arms wide open, I stand alone.
I'm no hero, and I'm not made of stone.
Right or wrong, I can hardly tell.
I'm on the wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side of hell.
The wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side, the righteous side of hell.
I'm not defending, downward descending,
Falling further and further away!
Getting closer every day!
I'm getting closer every day, to the end.
To the end, the end, the end,
I'm getting closer every day!
Arms wide open, I stand alone.
I'm no hero, and I'm not made of stone.
Right or wrong, I can hardly tell.
I'm on the wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side of hell.
The wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side of hell.
The wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side, the righteous side of hell.
Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: "Jesus, Grace, I thought we were friends."You ARE friends, but if you're going to completely flip out over the smallest, dumbest things NOBODY will like being your friends. And don't try to blame me for what you brought upon yourself.
Gandalf wrote: "Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: "Jesus, Grace, I thought we were friends."You ARE friends, but if you're going to completely flip out over the smallest, dumbest things NOBODY will like being y..."
I do realize that I was irrationally angry and rude yesterday, so I'm sorry. I'll let you back on To My Friends if you'd like.
Off, Joseph. I don't want to talk to you. Ever. And I didn't flip out. I was having a fun conversation and teasing you, until you (WITHOUT WARNING) removed my Mod privs. All of you know that if I'm doing something you don't like all you have to do is say. I cared so much about you guys. Now I couldn't give less of a shit. I'll get over you. You're just another bloodstain on the tapestry of my life.
