How To Tell If You Are In A High Fantasy Novel

[Sandra]

I saw this How To Tell If You Are In A High Fantasy Novel list from the Toast and wondered what would you add?

My favorite from the list by far was "Someone is eating an apple mockingly."

[Trike]

Everyone is stoned.

[Brendan]

I miss The Toast. Mallory Ortberg's Objectivist Harry Potter parodies are legendary.

[Sean Lookielook]

The nearby forest has an ominous name, and no one who goes in ever comes back.

[John (Nevets)]

My favorite off the list is...

"A bard is providing occasional comic relief; no one hired or invited him and his method of earning a living is unclear."

And even though I'm a male this one hit's a little too close to home for me.

"You have red hair. You wear it in a braid. Your father was a simple man, and you don’t remember much about him – he died when you were so young – but you remember his strong hands, as he fished or carpentered or whatever it was that he used to do with them."

I never wore my hair in a braid, even when it was long, (I did braid my beard once when it was a bit longer) but otherwise that description is pretty accurate.