Common Writing Problems

[Sharon]

As a beta reader and editor, I would like to share some of the most common problems I see in fiction manuscripts. Sentence structure is a big deal. Simple sentences that begin with subject/verb make for boring, choppy writing. Vary your sentence structure. Everyone has heard the advice "show don't tell" yet many novels lack detail and life because they are written in the passive voice. Dialogue tags are also a frequent black hole. If they are needed at all, use the opportunity to show the mood of the character through body movement or action. More tips can be found on my web page, The Writer's Reader, https://thewritersreader.wordpress.com. Happy writing!

Sharon

[G.G.]

Let's not forget the misused of participle clauses.
Examples I've seen in published books:
1- Walking down the street, my eyes checked for anything out of place. (I honestly hope my eyes will never walk, down or up a street.)
2- Getting out of bed, my skin crawled...(Talk about a scary image!)

So, yes, vary your sentence structure, but be sure they make sense.

[GR]

Good advice. I need a lot of good advice.

[Ashley]

One of the biggest issues I've found in my short time beta reading is not sentence structure so much as unfocused POV. Out of the 15 or so stories I've read, I'd say close to half are a mix of 3rd Omniscient and 3rd Limited, verging on head-hopping.

[Sandy]

While I'm not a beta reader, I am a voracious reader and a common problem I run across are homophones - words that sound alike, but have different spelling and often very different meanings. A spellchecker will not find these. The words are spelled correctly, but not used correctly. The ones we all know are its/it's and your/you're, but there are a ton more out there.

[G.G.]

And don't count on Office to find them either. It keeps telling me to change its for it's in stuff like The dog wagged its tail. Yeah, sure Word...we will listen to you and change its for it's...

[Ime]

I'll add this: dialogue. Sometimes writers tend to use dialogue as another form of exposition, and it comes out sounding unnatural. Something that gets under my skin is when a character is explaining something to another character that both characters already know, so there'd be no reason for it to come up in conversation. Or when a character is thinking about something as a vehicle for the reader to learn what it is despite the character having no reason to be internally defining the said thing.

Characters discussing things is fine, but the way they discuss it should reflect how much they already know about the subject. I find this most common in stories that require extensive world building. Primarily fantasy.

[GR]

Ime wrote: "I'll add this: dialogue. Sometimes writers tend to use dialogue as another form of exposition, and it comes out sounding unnatural. Something that gets under my skin is when a character is explaini..."

I use that form in a flashback if and when it requires something that will happen later in the story. It's a teaser.

"Do you remember when he was caught by his mother?"

"The time he was grounded for a month."

"And he....." Then the two laughed out-loud.

Or to show what type of person he is and why something happens later on in the story.

[Ime]

I think that kind of thing is fine, GR, because it's consistent with the characters and is an exchange you could expect them to have. I can't even count how many times I've been with friends, spending a night looking back on good memories.

It's a very human thing, and now that you've mentioned it, a pretty good way of providing backstory without making it seem like that's what you're doing.

[Elisa]

I did a bit of exposition through dialog but it was needed. I set it up as a classroom. It's the first day of school for new students. The teacher explained what the class was for and what mahou means.

An assassin is giving a detailed report to her handler about the students she's been spying on.

In both cases, the other characters didn't know the information given

[Jesslyn]

My biggest pet peeve when reading has to be dialogue. So many writers struggle with it, too. There's fluffy dialogue--dialogue that sounds like it has no weight. It's bubbly and cliche, and sounds like it came from a children's show. In example:

"I'm so excited about the tennis match! The teacher is so hot!"

Overuse of exclamation marks in dialogue add to the "fluffy" feel, too.
There's also robotic dialogue that sounds forced and unnatural, because the author is putting words in a character's mouth that don't belong there.

Then, of course, there's the frustrating dialogue that's there only to explain, as Ime mentioned. I'm currently beta reading a work with plenty of that to go around.

In my opinion, good dialogue is vital to a story. Not just to improve flow or structure, but because it can also be a great way to get to know a character and to reveal their emotions.

[Ime]

That's another good one. I more meant with situations where you have, for example, two brothers who live together in an apartment, and the reader doesn't know their father walked out on them.

Brother 1: "I really want to get that new video game."
Brother 2: "Dad walked out on us for that woman last year. We can't afford it without him."

There's a lot of info in Brother 2's response that explains their situation but doesn't do it very tactfully, I suppose. Compared to this...

Brother 1: I really want to get that new video game.
Brother 2: You know we can't afford games anymore.
Brother 1: Why not?
Brother 2: You know why.
Brother 1: We can work more hours to pay for it. We can't blame everything on dad not being here.

There's more nuance to the second conversation.

[Writing with Starlight]

Hello,

I am a previously published author looking to add BETA readers to my already established BETA circle. I have a manuscript ready to be read in the next few months. My genre is fantasy YA.

Please let me know if you're interested. Again, I won't need your services until a later date, but I need contact information and to make sure you book me in :)

You can reach me at giselle@gisellesimlett.com

Thank you.

Kind Regards,
Giselle.