Bits and Pieces that will transform your life

[Parinaz]

Over the years, I have discovered there is no single formula to achieve a life of contentment and joy. But there are only tools, which empower and remind us of our abilities and the powers we possess. In 2007, I came across these magical accoutrements.

I have compiled all my observations, learnings, bits and pieces I gathered on my journey to self-improvement.

Let's discuss some bits and pieces that has transformed your life?

These bits will strengthen each of us A LITTLE MORE!!!

Let's begin...

[T4bsF (Call me Flo)]

Doing my Nurse Training transformed my life. I can't imagine that I would have felt as happy with my working life if I'd stayed as a secretary.

[Parinaz]

Hi Flo...

That's wonderful... Doing what we love definitely transforms our life :-)

[T4bsF (Call me Flo)]

Strange really though, as now I'm retired, I do volunteer clerical work 1 day a week. I enjoy it now - because the content I'm typing is historically interesting.

[Parinaz]

Yeah... but the best part is that you followed your heart.

I have completed my Law and Business Management but my calling was WRITING! So I struggled my way through fears, lack of self-confidence, and criticisms and juggled the financial responsibilities along with my passion. Finally I reached my destination. I am a Copywriter and much peaceful and happier than I ever was!

[T4bsF (Call me Flo)]

When I was District Nursing - I used to feel sorry for people who would dread another day in "that place". Visiting patients in their own homes was like socialising, with an added dressing or injection thrown into the mix. What more could you wish for. We had some difficult visits - true, but they were a challenge to try to win them over.

[Parinaz]

:) :)

[Orinoco Womble (tidy bag and all)]

Learning to say "No" transformed my life. People really, really didn't like it at first, and I had to work at making it stick. (Where I live, no doesn't mean no, it means "keep pushing till you get what you want." They learn this as toddlers--keep on and keep on and keep on, and Mummy will cave to get you to shut up.) And people say "No" to me all the time and I survive. I realised that I wasn't garnering liking or respect or approval by being an eternal yes-person--they just thought I was a doormat. They were quite happy to walk over me, but they didn't treat me as an equal.

In Mansfield Park, Jane Austen says something like: the more you do for some people, the less they will do for themselves. I would add--and the less they appreciate it. It took me 35 years to learn this. And another 8 to get really good at applying the lesson.

I don't mean that I've become one of those people who confuse "aggressive" with "assertive." I do try to remain courteous, but I have learned with practice that if you simply stand pat, don't give a lot of explanations, and don't cave, they start to respect your boundaries a lot more. And that leads to respecting you as a person.

[Parinaz]

Thanks Orinoco for sharing your experience!!! And yay!! Your second paragraph is so apt! absolutely the less they appreciate.

Saying a No is important. VERY IMPORTANT. Did you know saying a No is form of self-love :-)

[Orinoco Womble (tidy bag and all)]

Yes, it's also a way of showing love to others--as opposed to enabling laziness, thoughtlessness etc.

[[deleted user]]

My experience with people is similar, Orinoco. My job is to help people produce their little shows. Often they begin to view me as a servant, rather than an aid. It's a shame that so many people confuse kindness with weakness. But, I guess that's what make's life interesting, all different kinds of people, in all different stages of growth.

[Parinaz]

Hi David share a bit that transformed your life?

[[deleted user]]

Hi Parinaz, Here you go, sort of a fictionalized memoir.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2...

[Parinaz]

David, nice one!

[[deleted user]]

Thank you, Parinaz,
Is there a place where your work may be seen?

[Orinoco Womble (tidy bag and all)]

Another thing that helps me is giving myself permission to fail. I've always been a charter member of the Not Terribly Good Club, when it comes to crafts or making things or art or whatever, in spite of the fact that I love creativity. I'm a hand-quilter, totally self-taught and without much in the way of resources. Whenever I cut into a piece of "bought" fabric (as opposed to scraps inherited from others) I ask my husband, "If I ruin it, is that a problem?" He rolls his eyes and says, "Of course not!" I now have permission to screw up royally--and it takes the pressure off.

I find this is a good lesson for my students (I tutor ESL) who are nervous about exams. If we we set impossibly high standards for ourselves, over time this leads to applying our (unrealistic) expectations to everyone around us. This does not make for happy relationships--at work, at home, and certainly not in romance! But by giving ourselves permission to fail, we permit others to be less-than-perfect, too.

I'll never forget an anecdote related by a US "family therapist" and well-known author of books on how to have a happy family. His daughter was just back from her honeymoon and the couple had invited Mom and Dad for that first dinner party in the new home. Dad offered to help her with the dishes, and took the opportunity to ask her the old question: "So, hon, what do you think of married life?" Her response knocked him for six: "You know what Daddy? Disney lied."

Wow. Some pretty unrealistic expectations there!
So yeah--give yourself permission to fail, and you may become one of those understanding, compassionate people we all love.

[Parinaz]

Sure David...

Here it is Bits and Pieces that will transform your life

Hey Flo and Orinoco... even you guys can check out my book...

Your genuine ratings and reviews on the book are welcome...:) :)you can read up to 2 chapters on Amazon link... :)

Take care!

[Parinaz]

David wrote: "Thank you, Parinaz,
Is there a place where your work may be seen?"

Sure David...

Here it is Bits and Pieces that will transform your life

Your genuine ratings and reviews on the book are welcome...:) :)you can read up to 2 chapters on Amazon link... :)

Take care!

[Justin]

It may not some like much but buying a new computer has helped my life tremendously. I can now get work done, interact with people more thoroughly and I can organize and balance things out and it takes so much stress off me now that I am able to do things I wasn't able to before.

I would also say something I try doing that I notice not a lot of people around me do is see the glass half full. You would think there are more people who have this view but my friends? Psh..mostly pessimists and it is hard cause I like thinking positive but when there is sooo many negative people they tend to harsh my mallow :/ even so I try to keep to my happy place.