Knowledge from the Future

[The Rachel Perspective]

As intriguing as her "Last Day on Earth," Amy Poehler also devised a list of twenty things her 90-year-old self would tell her current self.

They are:

• Get to the point, please.

• Talk slower and louder.

• You look great and you are beautiful.

• Can you walk? Stop complaining.

• Stopcomplainingstopcomplainingstopcomplaining.

• Stop whining about getting old. It's a privilege. A lot of people who are dead wish they were still alive.

• Ignore what other people think. Most people aren't even paying attention to you.

• Find a nice boy who is nice to you.

• Isn't dancing fun?

• Let's not talk about people dying.

• Don't go too long without talking to your family.

• Forgive your parents for what they never gave you.

• Eat some nice soup and you will feel better. Or take a walk.

• Relax and let her win. Who cares?

• Whocareswhocareswhocareswhocareswhocares?

• Make "No" a complete sentence.

• Kiss every baby and pet every dog.

• Walk slowly and lie down when you're tired.

• What's next?

• That next-door neighbor is too loud; that's it. I'm calling the cops.


... Obviously some of these are better words of wisdom than others.


What things would your nonagenarian self tell you right now?