Oakville Reads discussion
Miller's Valley
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Question #2: Men
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[deleted user]
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Jan 12, 2017 07:54AM
We've talked about Mimi's relationship with the concept of "home", now consider Mimi’s relationships with Steven and Donald. How do you think each man fits into her life at the time? Do you think Mimi loved Steven like she loved Donald?
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No, I don't think it was the same. In a nutshell: she loved Donald, and more lusted for Steven. I think she loved Donald when they were children as children do - innocently and trustingly. Though he came and went he was her safety net and her constant, even via letters for many years... and even when he became more distant and estranged over time, he wrote, and was available. Later, she loved Donald for the boy he had been, but also deeply for who he was for her as an adult - once again safe, loving, and constant. Her feelings never really wavered for him; his for her never did.
Steven may have been new and exciting, and no doubt she felt some love for him too. At her age at the time though, and with aaaaaallll the copious amounts of copulating mentioned, it was borne from lust and you saw the shine come off his penny for her after a while. They may have both filled specific and important needs for Mimi during the times they were present in her life, but the feelings were not the same.
Mod
I think she loved Donald when they were children as children do - innocently and trustingly. Though ..."
I think you've expressed the differences in the two relationships beautifully, Terry. I agree that Mimi and Steven had a powerful physical relationship, but Mimi and Donald had a much stronger base for a long-lasting relationship. I imagine it was sort of like slipping into a pair of comfortable old jeans when they finally got together.
Mimi's strong and independent nature showed when she left Steven. She said that she wasn't heartbroken, and was disgusted with herself that she was not. But she learned an important lesson: "that falling into things, bad things, dumb things, things that felt good but were bad and dumb both, was the easiest thing in the world." Steven fit into her younger years, helped her mature, and made Mimi appreciate what she could have with Donald.
I love the scene when Donald finds Mimi again, and he tells her he's been waiting ten years for her. Mimi knows immediately that he means it. Given the structure of the book, we don't get to know much about Donald's and Mimi's life together. I really wish we had.
Terry wrote: "No, I don't think it was the same. In a nutshell: she loved Donald, and more lusted for Steven. I think she loved Donald when they were children as children do - innocently and trustingly. Though ..."
Well said so I won't repeat it. I also thought it interesting that when Mimi became pregnant, she sought an abortion without anyone (except her friend) ever knowing about it. Showed her courage and the fact that she knew that her relationship with Steven was not everlasting. And her mother didn't like Steven and liked Donald.
Mod
I think she loved Donald when they were children as children do - innocently and trust..."
Yes, she was quite matter of fact about the abortion, wasn't she? Afterwards, she said she "folded the whole thing up and put it in a sealed envelope in my mind, and that's where it stayed." Some women wouldn't be able to do that, but with Mimi, it seemed believable.
Thanks for the compliments my new friends :) Though it did fit in with what has been said about Mimi and Steven, I'll echo you that I was a little surprised when Mimi so quickly and firmly decided to have an abortion... and then put it out of her head... though I wonder how well and for how long. I find it challenging to accept that it could be so final and not revisited (was it? I don't think so)... especially when at the same time she was so upset near the end of the book (view spoiler).
Did anyone else 'emotionally question' that parallel? (It's a bit off topic so if it's too far off, feel free to ignore.)
Mod
Though it did fit in with what has been said about Mimi and Steven, I'll echo you that I was a little surprised when Mimi so quickly and firmly decided..."
I don't think the abortion was revisited either, Terry. Your question about the parallels is fascinating - I never thought about that when I read the book. I guess I was so surprised and somewhat shaken by the long-buried family secret that I didn't think of anything else.
Mimi had a strong personality. She didn't seem to doubt herself and was so self confident. When I finished the book, I hoped that Anna Quindlen would write a sequel. I wanted to know so much more about Mimi Miller
