Science Fiction Microstory Contest discussion
** JANUARY 2017 MICROSTORY CONTEST - COMMENTS ONLY
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Good topic, guys!I must admit I had to go and double check the definitions and found this one to be the most succinct and helpful:
"science fiction, given its grounding in science, is possible; fantasy, which has no grounding in reality, is not" ~ Isaac Asimov
Off to a great start there Chris. I loved your story.
Huh? Chris?I'm C, and that don't stand for Chris. Lol
Thanks though, Rejoice. Glad you liked it!
-C.
Assumption, assumptions - never make assumptions! My humble apologies C.
Nice story Tom. Loved the bugged out eyeballs!Let's get everyone on board with stories this month, to kick off the new year.
-C.
Rejoice-No worries! C could be an abbreviation for "Capricious" for all you knew!
-C.
Rejoice wrote: "Assumption, assumptions - never make assumptions! My humble apologies C."Dear Rejoice,
You can call me C…
Or you can let it be.
You can call me quite capricious
But that’s a total anti-thesis.
And you can even "dude" me, girl,
If you wish to give that a whirl
But I don't really fit that title
since I'm neither surfer nor idle.
So that's all I’ve really got
When it comes to what I’m not
But no matter what the winner
Please don’t call me late for dinner.
Happy New Year! : )
-C.
Heather wrote: "Good topic, guys!I must admit I had to go and double check the definitions and found this one to be the most succinct and helpful:
"science fiction, given its grounding in science, is possible; ..."
Or, as Rod Serling put it: "Science fiction makes the improbable possible, while fantasy makes the impossible probable."
C. wrote: "Rejoice wrote: "Assumption, assumptions - never make assumptions! My humble apologies C."Dear Rejoice,
You can call me C…
Or you can let it be.
You can call me quite capricious
But that’s a tot..."
Show-off. (Snappy, though.) Seriously...loved your story.
Jack wrote: "Awesome story, Tom!"Thank you, Jack! (I just tweaked it, slightly.)
C. wrote: "Nice story Tom. Loved the bugged out eyeballs!Let's get everyone on board with stories this month, to kick off the new year.
-C."
Thanks! Loved the little horns.
Just checked Wired and they have latest issue out (Jan 17 issue). "The fiction issue." Mostly sci-fi short stories. https://www.wired.com/magazine/the-sc...
Happy New Year!
Jeremy M.
Justin,First Santa Claus, now Sleeping Beauty. Wow--it's like a Disneyland trolley collided head-on with the Millennium Falcon!
Well written story, but what's next--Terminator 6, The Rise of Sneezy? Lol
"Across the scarred earth were strewn the baked remains of the dead human race: mounds of bleached bones and rubble ran between the broken upthrust steel ribs of shattered skyscrapers like rivers of total destruction.
In the distance, a large mound of bricks shifted. The top bricks clattered off the pile as a high pitched whining sound suddenly echoed around the ruined city streets.
A shiny metallic skull emerged from the shifting pile, chrome teeth grinning idiotically as it extricated itself from the rubble that had hidden it for decades. It was a robotic figure, a shiny skeleton-like machine which stood a full seven feet tall. It shook off the last of the gritty nuclear fallout and swiveled its head around with another high-pitched servomotor whine, to survey the area for enemies.
Then... it opened its mouth and spoke. "aaaaah, aaaaaaaaah, aaaaaaaaah, AAAAACHOOOOOO!" The head separated itself from the torso and bounced several times on its way down the brick pile to the remains of the street. There it landed and spun almost a full turn before coming to a stop, as the rest of the robotic body toppled over.
The evilly glowing red eyes slowly dimmed, flickered, and then went dark."
Too bad for Sneezy... his factory warranty expired just last week!
-C.
I fear the damage to Justin is irreversible, C. I saw it on the T.V. News: the Intelligence Community has just completed it's investigation ... and yes the Elf On The Shelf DID hack Justin's brain! (And as a reward it's now celebrating in a luxury annex that's attached to the Men In Black's headquarters in a secret bunker underneath Area 51.)
There may be some hope of a re-BOOT ... but we won't know till next month if that's been successful. (If he writes a February story starring Puss In BOOTS, well ... it's all over if that happens.)
p.s. nice mini
Puss in boots with a light sabre. Brilliant idea!!
Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to kill I go! To rend and tear humans everywhere! Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho!Glad you enjoyed the story!
I won't be reviewing this month as I'm trying to get my entry for the Army's sci-fi competition ready for combat, so I apologize for that.
When it's ready, perhaps a few of you might enlist to read it and provide return fire, er, feedback.
Thanks!
Mod
Thanks for your brilliant critique of one of the stories, C in which you compared the before (or 'first draught-like') and suggested after (or 'polished') using examples, for both rough grammatical construction made smoother AND passive writing made active!I found that very helpful for my own writing. I like to use this contest to seriously muck around and try things out ... (which I think is a valid creative exercise in its own right, or should that be it's own rite ................................ of passage ha ha ha ah ah ah!) But the danger with doing that is that it IS tempting to just file the drafted(=danged damned) idea away 'for later development' thus missing out on the opportunity to get the most out of such an exercise. So thanks from me for one even though it was not my story you were critiquing.
(p.s. whoever thought up the idea of these critiques must be brilliant! :) not least of all because I had completely forgotten about Cointreau! ! ! I love it - it's like a lolly {I think you call that "candy" in America} and a dash of alcohol all in one: the perfect combination! At the beginning of each year I buy myself three bottles of alcohol to last the year. One is always whiskey, one is generally Bailey's Irish Cream and the third is variable. Last year the third one was Ouzo, which I like for it's gentle but refreshing aniseed kick. Now I'm going to make The Third Bottle this year ..... drum rollllll .... COINTREAU! Brilliant! I do cheat a little in that I also buy up to six {for the year} half-bottles {stubbies} of fancy/ exotic/craft beer or stout {I count them as one item ... a sort of an extra for good behaviour re sticking to my 'healthy diet,' getting some house maintenance, gardening, whatever, done, etc.} "Yes I deserve a nice glass of Franziskaner Hefe-Weissbier for working on such and such a task around the house or researching something for my writing/creative projects ... now if I have that today that leaves five left for the year ... so I must think about what tasks are really deserving!!"
I think this is why I always enjoy your whiskey comments I'm not a social alcohol drinker at all. Coffee is for socialising. Alcohol is more a sort-of-occasional alternative avenue to deep contemplation. What a right/rite/riot! I got all that out of your critique of someone else's story! Thanks. I enjoyed it anyway :)
Hi Heather,Wow. Thank you for your overly generous appreciation for the ramblings of an inebriated pedant.
If I were smart enough to have all the right answers then I'd be published in one of the big houses. But as it is, i am merely offering free advice--and as we all know--free advice is usually worth what you paid for it. : )
I did decide to live life way outside the box this time, by showcasing margaritas rather than highballs in my latest critique. (Everyone has to embrace change sooner or later.)
Thanks for your kind note. Your brand of humor makes this place a lot more fun.
-C.
I forgot the red wine. But that's doesn't count ... no really, because
Posted mine earlier this time. Dragons seem to be a theme. A friend recommended Anne McCaffery if I am to continue in this vein. Critiques welcome. Greg
This is a follow up to the recently raised subject of use of Syntax. Can bad syntax be perceived as good style or creativity?My opinion is that bad syntax detracts from good style and creativity just as big weeds detract from a beautiful garden.
Here's a definition I borrowed from Dictionary.com:
syntax
1.
Linguistics.
the study of the rules for the formation of grammatical sentences in a language.
the study of the patterns of formation of sentences and phrases from words.
the rules or patterns so studied:
English syntax.
a presentation of these:
a syntax of English.
an instance of these:
the syntax of a sentence.
I used to be a terrible writer, mostly due to poor syntax. The first draft of my first book, "Way of the Axe" had so much passive voice in it I rewrote the entire novel in present tense to try to stomp it out of the manuscript entirely. My editor actually liked the story that way, and so it remains today.
So... the quick fix? I've read lots of books on Syntax, everything from Chicago to the Dummies guide, and they're all snooze-fests. They cover all possible mistakes including lots of esoteric ones I'd never make, and so I usually pass out in a pile on the floor for two days when I try to read this stuff--and that's without any alcohol involved!
So here's my trick: I hired a professional editor from Proofreadingpal.com. It turns out that I make the same mistakes over and over, and maybe 5 or 6 of my common mistakes represent 98% of the total mistakes in my manuscripts. So it's like having a private tutor; they tell you when you're particular style of writing goes off the tracks, and there are few enough of these common examples that you can easily remember them for the next time.
Professional editing is not cheap, they usually charge by the word and I paid a hefty sum to have my three book "Axe Series" professionally edited. But you can start with short stories to keep the cost down.
Proofreadingpal.com* immensely helped the quality of my writing. And this was not only easier than taking courses or reading thick academic tomes, but it paid dividends in my day-job writing as well.
(* This was not a paid nor solicited endorsement.)
-C.
Looks good, that site! Thanks C for sharing that.For a 7 day wait for the result of their checking and editing it would be about $20 for one of our 750 word stories here each month. Not bad when you think what you can waste $20 on over the course of a month.
I would like to try it for some of my past 750 word stories here, too, when I was experimenting with styles of writing: specifically when trying to match The Style to reflect The Content (eg a reverse perspective story I tried to do a while back ... after the style of the Reverse or Byzantine visual art style. I was asking myself the question, "can I do that with 'written art?" I can't say I really succeeded going by the feedback/critiques I got.)
But ...... I would be very interested to see if 'just getting the fundamental rules right' + whatever editing etc advice they might give, would have helped with making such an experimental style better able to be understood and enjoyed, by a reader rather than have them just be confused by it.
Hmmmmmm ... gunna try that! :)
EDIT: That's not to say I am expecting magic from them. Some experiments in writing (by me anyway) may just be a step too far in what I can get to 'work.'
C. wrote: "This is a follow up to the recently raised subject of use of Syntax. Can bad syntax be perceived as good style or creativity?My opinion is that bad syntax detracts from good style and creativity ..."
Yoda said, "Bad syntax a pretty sentence makes. Hmmm. Think on this, I must."
I've not heard of Proofreadingpal.com, and no free time tonight to look them over, but (1) I wonder how much of the $20/750 words (3 "standard editing pages") their editors get. Generally, online content-editing mills don't pay professional rates, meaning you may get a good editor sensitive to your style, but you're as likely to get a rushed hack--though of course it's possible you'll get someone fairly new to editing, ready to put in lots of time to do the job well, and with a good editing sense. --But be wary. And, as Heather notes, for more experimental works, this can be especially risky. Probably worth trying for one or two stories, though, and see how it goes. Also presumably everyone here has at least a copy of Strunk and White's Elements of Style, for basic grammar issues and the like, so you and the editor don't have to waste time or money on those basics and can actually edit the story issues.
Paula, I asked and got a very good editor with lots of prior sci fi editing experience. He was awesome.
C. wrote: "Paula, I asked and got a very good editor with lots of prior sci fi editing experience. He was awesome."
Great!
Hey everyone! I have not had time to do reviews this month since I'm focused on the US Army sci-fi competition. But I wanted to say that you all made voting incredibly difficult!I've really enjoyed reading all of your stories this month! Great work by all!
Just wondering if anyone knows which is the most accurate word counter to use? I've realised the different ones don't all count the same way, nor even return the same count on different tries!This one https://wordcounter.net/ counted my story to consist of 738 words and this one http://www.wordcounttool.com/ 734. But this one (the one I just happened to have used) https://wordcounttools.com/
said it was 750 words after my final edit ... but when I just re checked it again now it said 753!
I then tried out someone else's story (that 'looked' to be a lot longer than my story) and two of those word count tools returned word counts that were different by around 40 words!
Anyone got any advice/thoughts re how to get a fair and consistent word count? All the tools I mentioned above are FREE. Might that mean I would have to use a PAID tool to get accuracy?
Mod
Heather, I pasted your story in MS Word and it counted 738 words, so I would stick with the tool that agreed on that count.
Thanks J.F., Yes I was surprised at how different the word counts are. I'll stick with that one then - it was the wordcount.net one.It seems it is an inexact science, this 'word counting' skill that the A.I.s aren't really on top of yet :) ... but I guess Microsoft WORD's count is one that would be generally accepted, so I'll use the one that is closest to that.
[I don't have 'Word' at the moment. I was using one of the free alternatives till they played up a bit. Now I just write in 'gmail compose' and then copy and paste it into this Goodreads site because while my work has sometimes 'disappeared' in the free programs, I have found, the automatically saved 'draft' function in 'gmail compose' is indestructible!
(I used to be able to get a word count from 'gmail compose' then after Windows 10 did one of its uninvited 'updates' I could no longer do word counts!)]
Mod
"You are who you are and none can say otherwise. Your people are your people and those that are not cannot say otherwise. The word of your people is for your people, but the word of the Empire will be followed between peoples. What is learned by your people will be shared with the Empire and what the Empire learns will be shared with your people." (©2017 by Jot Russell)
Congratulations on your January story win, Tom! Great job.-C
Jot wrote: "Working on a time-travel novel that includes a resurgence of the Roman Empire 1500 years back. In order for the traveler to empower the empire to unite the nations into a global power, I had to com..."Fascinating idea, and a brilliant excerpt. Go for it!
C. wrote: "Congratulations on your January story win, Tom! Great job.-C"
Thank you!
Justin wrote: "Yes, excellent story Tom!"Thank you, Justin!
Paula wrote: "Very good work, Tom."Thank you, Paula.
Justin wrote: "Hey everyone! I have not had time to do reviews this month since I'm focused on the US Army sci-fi competition. But I wanted to say that you all made voting incredibly difficult!I've really enjoy..."
'Hope the Army competition's going well, Justin. Best of luck.
Yeah, me too Justin, ie ditto what Tom said re the Army story. Be interesting to read it when you've finished. I'm thinking i might have a go at it next year, if it keeps going as an annual thing. I'm just too rushed for time and 'mental space' this time around to do my idea (for my story) justice. Good luck :)
re Jot's idea, that he has posted above (message 35) re his fascinating idea for a novel that he's writing/thinking of writing, I think it is very fertile ground for discussion ... and am wondering what other 'interpretations of the possibilities,' in Jot's story idea, came to mind for others. I'll take the liberty of copy and pasting here what I already posted on Jot's Facebook page re my interpretation of it:
The thing that came to my mind on reading this intriguing idea, Jot, was that it would be great to have a conflict between two competing forces - perhaps the time travellers going back to the Roman Empire to gain (from a resurgence of that Empire) and transpose it back to the time frame they themselves come from, versus, the would-be forward travelling potential time travellers who they meet back there!
That's because the concept of a World Power now - say in Modern America (or Future America, perhaps) - IS different to what it was back then ... so something is bound to be lost, or some conflict bound to arise, 'in translation' ... in transposition!
The way you have been guided by the 3 laws of Robotics to come up with the above 'Constitution' that you have in quotation marks is very good, but only for the one side of the argument (the time traveller(s) going back to ancient Rome.)
But for the other side of the equation - those 'living still in ancient Rome' they'll likely be wanting what is taken forward into (what at least from their point of view is) The Future to be 'less contaminated' by what evolution has actually done to the built-in evolutionary capacity of that original Constitution by the, ironic modern, stasis of it! (A contamination that the writer and reader may be accepting of as perfectly normal, BUT the ancients may not.) eg Here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_C... it speaks of the Roman Constitution's great flexibility. And here, http://www.international-relations.co... there's lots of interesting info on how Rome 'put it all together' eg "Now this, more than anything else, was what gave increase to Rome: she always united and incorporated with herself those whom she conquered. (Plutarch Romulus XVI.5)"
Indeed the whole piece at that (second mentioned) link is about the subtleties of (any successful) power and how Rome did NOT have just a straight rule of "When in Rome do as the Romans do"... but rather something more like, 'When forming alliances with Rome gently fold their ways into the ways of Rome.' (It's worth reading that article at that link right through.)
So yes, that 'Constitution' you've written is interesting and reasonable from a modern (or future) time traveller's viewpoint. But what would fit in also to your proposed story, as I understand it - even if only as a SUBPLOT - is to have characters who are original Romans, wanting to join in a time travel effort 'back to the future,' but, with that, also fighting for their original more flexible ways, of constructing a Great Power's Constitution, to be kept intact.
EDIT: Interestingly, I think that the reason why Australia has a relatively peaceful democratic society is that it does not have a strict "When in
(Of course someone always has a hissy fit about such things, but the majority love that 'enfolding' ... the same enfolding that those arguing for 'the success of the flexible, evolutionary style of Roman rule' might espouse! This is the opposite to the other 'modern stance' which is in support of "When in such and such a place ...etc" eg in France they say no to ALL religious symbols - strangely wiping out 'their own traditional' "When in France" religious ways! To me the Australian way and the French way epitomises, as I have spoken of above, in the context of {my perception of} Jot's story idea, that intriguing potential CONFLICT between flexible and inflexible power!
Mod
______________________________
*Theme Requirements for the January 2017 contest:
The theme for this month is Genre Blending:
Write a story that incorporates BOTH Science Fiction AND Fantasy elements.
Your story can be more Fantasy or more Sci-Fi but must have elements of BOTH in some form.
Other requirements:
An antique or heirloom of some sort, critical to the resolution of the story.
That's it. Have fun!