Nerdy and the Jedi Journal Showing 24,251-24,300 of 25,460

[NerdyJediGymnast]

I want him to be ok

[NerdyJediGymnast]

I feel like I let him down

[NerdyJediGymnast]

Maybe I didnt but I let someone down I can feel it

[NerdyJediGymnast]

Whats wrong with me?

[NerdyJediGymnast]

I should've been there

[NerdyJediGymnast]

I say I love him but I didnt protect him? Ugh

[NerdyJediGymnast]

I cant place all the blame on me

[NerdyJediGymnast]

But what else can

[NerdyJediGymnast]

I do

[NerdyJediGymnast]

I am so lost its not funny

[NerdyJediGymnast]

Im gonna go try to pm him and see if he answers

[NerdyJediGymnast]

Omg a reply at last!

[NerdyJediGymnast]

I asked how he feels he said stronger

[NerdyJediGymnast]

I asked how so?

He said he feels like he survived a war

[Jaxon(Jax)[They-He]]

Hey Nerdy.

[NerdyJediGymnast]

Let me go and have a very very late through the night conversation with bae

[NerdyJediGymnast]

Byeeeee

[NerdyJediGymnast]

C Y N O N I C wrote: "Hey Nerdy."

Oh hi Cyn, I was just about to go

[Jaxon(Jax)[They-He]]

Okay bye then

[NerdyJediGymnast]

Went to bed at 1am

Improvement

[Erin]

NerdyJediGymnast wrote: "Went to bed at 1am

Improvement"

Yayyy improvement! :D

[NerdyJediGymnast]

XD Yay

[NerdyJediGymnast]

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming:

Nerdy's Life: Lost and Unhappy

[NerdyJediGymnast]

Omg Im so crazy

[NerdyJediGymnast]

Stayed up late talking to Johnny :P

[NerdyJediGymnast]

Im scared to like hug him or touch him, because Im scared I'll hurt him

[NerdyJediGymnast]

He told me his grandma was LIVID
Mostly at her family who "would allow this to happen"

[NerdyJediGymnast]

As a gymnast, its important to be healthy, and I know not getting enough sleep is unhealthy

[NerdyJediGymnast]

So why do I do that to myself?

[NerdyJediGymnast]

Hmm I wonder

[NerdyJediGymnast]

That whole experience did something to me Like I no longer feel safe

[NerdyJediGymnast]

Im scared

[NerdyJediGymnast]

I want him safe

[NerdyJediGymnast]

But he doesnt care about himself being safe unless Im safe so I need to feel safe for him to feel safe

[NerdyJediGymnast]

Now the word "safe" sounds weird :P

[blue]

im here

[blue]

hii

[NerdyJediGymnast]

I want to be happy
But I wont be happy
Till I make you happy too

[NerdyJediGymnast]

^^Thats a song by Ella Fitzgerald

[NerdyJediGymnast]

I love her

[NerdyJediGymnast]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVglo...

[NerdyJediGymnast]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPapx...

[NerdyJediGymnast]

I know

Such an old song

[NerdyJediGymnast]

My grandma brought me up on this stuff

Josephine Baker, Ella Fitzgerald, King Oliver, Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington, Florence Mills......

[NerdyJediGymnast]

Harlem Renaissance she says was the greatest time in her life

[NerdyJediGymnast]

But I dont know how old Ella was during those times so I dont think she was singing yet? I dont know

[NerdyJediGymnast]

But music like that makes me feel connected to my roots you know?

[NerdyJediGymnast]

Gives me a sense of awareness

[NerdyJediGymnast]

And hope

[NerdyJediGymnast]

*sigh*