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A Solivagant on the Inselberg
Deepthi wrote: "Hallie wrote: "*sighs* Why do I say stuff I probably shouldn't have, forget that I said it, and then panic when I need to explain but can't?Hi, though! I was just thinking about the old times whe..."
Thanks!
Panicking 😅 What about you?
Hallie wrote: "Deepthi wrote: "Hallie wrote: "*sighs* Why do I say stuff I probably shouldn't have, forget that I said it, and then panic when I need to explain but can't?Hi, though! I was just thinking about t..."
Anytime :)
Something happened?
Just getting Felix's birthday gift ready ^o^
Deepthi wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Deepthi wrote: "Hallie wrote: "*sighs* Why do I say stuff I probably shouldn't have, forget that I said it, and then panic when I need to explain but can't?Hi, though! I was just t..."
:)
Probably just overthinking.
Ooooohhhhh! You're such a great friend!
Hallie wrote: "Deepthi wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Deepthi wrote: "Hallie wrote: "*sighs* Why do I say stuff I probably shouldn't have, forget that I said it, and then panic when I need to explain but can't?Hi, thou..."
:)
I'm here if you wanna talk, okie?
*blushes* That was sudden, sorry... I didn't expect that tbh...
Thank you.... :)
Deepthi wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Deepthi wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Deepthi wrote: "Hallie wrote: "*sighs* Why do I say stuff I probably shouldn't have, forget that I said it, and then panic when I need to explain but c..."I'll remember that.
Haha xD Just saying the truth here for once.
Hallie wrote: "Deepthi wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Deepthi wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Deepthi wrote: "Hallie wrote: "*sighs* Why do I say stuff I probably shouldn't have, forget that I said it, and then panic when I need ..."Good :)
Thank you :D
Since we no longer have WiFi, I can't use the 'I'll kill myself after finishing this series, this anime, this movie, that series etc." So I suppose I'm dying soon.
The day I can explain why I'm up at 5:35 in the morning, I'll attain salvation.
S got into uni in the north. She also got in here, but she might go to the north, and H is virtually clinging to her leg begging her to stay here while I'm virtually packing S's bags xD Not that I want her to leave, but if she thinks that's a better school for her, then she should go and because that great lawyer she is destined to be. And no, it's not because I might need a lawyer myself in three years and I wouldn't have to pay her a single dime.
*stubs toe* *ignores it and imagines the feel of a blade against skin*
*stubs same toe again*
*posts it online because I'm that petty*
*wonders what the hell is wrong with me*
*repeats cycle*
^ If anyone asks how my summer was, that's going to be my answer.
Haha turns out a stubbed toe has a deeper meaning that your soul is sending a message to your physical body that you're ignoring something.
And again. That's four times in one hour, and I'm not even doing it intentionally.
I'm in trouble because I cried myself to sleep last night :)
Can I donate my organs if I die right now? I think you'd have to be 18 to donate them when alive, but what if I was dead but just a month away from actually turning 18? Does that matter?
How do I do it? Do I have to sign a form, or should I just go to my parents and say, "Yeah, so I'm probably going to die in a couple of weeks, so I want you to donate my organs if they aren't useless. Give my kidneys to aunt because I overheard you say that she needs a transplant. Oh, and happy birthday in advance, Dad!"
It could be up to my parents, so someone please tell me how to convince my parents.
What's wrong with organ donation? If I haven't already destroyed them, they might save someone else's life.
Frustration
Frustrated. Yep, I'm frustrated. I'm so freaking frustrated.
Firstly, the whole no WiFi thing. I could have finished Game of Thrones by now, but thanks to my dad, I'm stuck trying to download the same episode four times, only to see it fail when there is about 8% left to download. It's so freaking annoying. I stayed up all night for three days in a row just to download that one episode, but it keeps failing -_-
Secondly, my brother and the whole WiFi thing. My dad said he'd give me a data pack every month so that I still have internet, but I'd need a new SIM card from a different service provider. Last time, I had to get mine registered under Mum's name because I wasn't 18 yet, so my parents decided to wait one more month to get that. Until then, they told my brother to add a data plan to my current SIM. It took so much persuasion and so much yelling to get him to do it, but he finally did it. On Sunday, he came to me and asked me to share my internet with him so that he could download a movie on his laptop. I shared it and let him download the whole movie and do something else all with my internet even though he has the exact same data plan in his phone.
Last night, after work, he came home and asked me to share my internet again. Well, he threatened actually. I initially declined because I was trying to download Game of Thrones for the third time. And then he started yelling that I was horrible and that he wouldn't let me have the data pack next month, and when I said that he was being a jerk, he argued that I was the jerk. Explain this to me. How am I being the jerk when I'm using my own data on my own phone? How am I being the selfish person when he is the one demanding that I give him internet when he has the exact same pack in his phone which he hasn't exhausted either? Just how is it fair to say that?
And that's why I cried myself to sleep because it just pisses me off that my own family is trying to take advantage of me even if I try to please everyone. I'm done. I'm literally done. They take away everything that ever mattered to me, have a problem with every mechanism I use to cope ever since I started falling, take away those coping mechanisms, and basically have a problem with everything I do. They have a problem with me existing, but the law has a problem with me dying.
Thirdly, everything. Everything happening and everything that has happened is annoying me so much I could just..... Ugh! I texted Coffee Boy asking if he is free tomorrow morning because my mum's going to some church with my great-aunt, and I thought I'd sneak out to meet him, but he has class so that's a bummer.
So I suppose I have the whole house to set myself on fire without disturbing anyone tomorrow.
I'm hanging out with my best friends right now :) :) :)
Today was just exhausting but fun, and I want to drop dead right now because I know from tomorrow, everything changes, and I want this to be the last thing I remember.
H gave me the copy of Veronika Decides to Die that we bought last year, so I do need to read that before I die. And S gave me postcards, but they are BTS themed :/ She specifically even picked out Suga for me -_-
Somebody please kill me! I'm too tired to do it myself.
![Jaxon(Jax)[They-He] | 4642 comments](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1749715398p1/46156450.jpg)
Hallie. I'm about ready to start up my own community, I swear
I'm sure it will be better than what we live in.
I voluntarily signed up for trouble. Why do I hate myself?
Hey, Hallie :) *waves*It's sorta been long...
Every ten seconds, I go "I hate myself" -_-
I want apple cider vinegar, but I feel like my mum will laugh at me if I ask.
Coffee Boy has been texting more frequently?
I'm bored so I decided to look at random Wikihow articles. Now I'm reading an article on how to become quiet and the whole world is rolling its eyes in frustration.
Coffee Boy: How was your day?Me: Exhausting. How was yours?
Coffee Boy: Boring. Nothing to do at home.
Me: Read a book.
Coffee Boy: Hm I probably should. I want to go out but I have no friends.
My mind: Why? Just why would you want to go out?
Me: Use a meet-up app or something.
My mind: The outdoors is evil!
"Is it just our bodies? Are we both losing our minds?
Is the only reason you're holding me tonight
'Cause we're scared to be lonely?
Do we need somebody just to feel like we're alright?
Is the only reason you're holding me tonight
'Cause we're scared to be lonely?"
~ Scared To Be Lonely, Martin Garrix and Dua Lipa
When S, H and I went to a gift shop, S initially wanted to buy a pencil with a unicorn on it, and while we were searching for colours, she held out a black one and said, "Hallie, you take this. It's black. Just like your soul."It's so accurate.
Hallie wrote: "Hey!!!! :D How have you been?"^^
Exams going on rn... you can guess xDD
How has your week been?
Ohhh! Good luck! I'm sure you'll do great! :DUgh exhausting! But I finally managed to meet S and H after nearly a year, so at least that was nice.
Thank you :):/
That's good :D
I had the weirdest yet amazing dreams. I was solving mysteries, but in the end, I woke up because it seemed like I was going to die next.
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 (other topics)Lore (other topics)
The Glass Menagerie (other topics)
The Great Gatsby (other topics)
Orlando (other topics)
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Hi, though! I was just thinking about the old times when I said that, ..."
Hey... Relax, you don't have to explain it :)Ah, okie :)
Heyo! Whatchu doin'?