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I write erotica and I don't know how to tell my dad LOL
ROFL I feel you. While mine aren't in the erotica genre, there are a few sexy bits that I worried about my mom or dad reading. I had to remind myself that I'm an adult and that my mom had been reading harlequin romances since I was a wee thing. Unless you're writing auto-biographical erotica, just remind your dad it's made up and you're writing it for other people's enjoyment. Good luck.
Jessica wrote: "ROFL I feel you. While mine aren't in the erotica genre, there are a few sexy bits that I worried about my mom or dad reading. I had to remind myself that I'm an adult and that my mom had been read..."What is it about parents that makes us sometimes forget that we're grown women? Lol! Thanks!
Jessica wrote: "Unless you're writing auto-biographical erotica."Omg this line cracked me up!!
Marie wrote: "Jessica wrote: "Unless you're writing auto-biographical erotica."Omg this line cracked me up!!"
Lol. Hahaha. I am not! I just have a very creative mind, lolll.
I expect a similar question from my friends. Lord, lol.
I don't write erotica, but was a little nervous letting my mom beta read for me, as my stories tend to be pretty gritty and sometimes downright disturbing. But she's been okay with it, and has only had to bow out of a couple of them. She'll tell me "I just can't read books with..." and I'll warn her off of a book that I know will bother her. Or sometimes when I give her a book, I'll say "you might want to skip over chapter 7..."My hubby has read a number of my books now (he is a non-reader and I never expected him to read any) and I have given him warnings about the ones with more graphic violence or sexual abuse. He can read them if he wants to, but has been warned.
When ladies from church say they want to read one of my books, I ask them what they like to read, and give recommendations based on that (as I do have a couple that are gentler), or if they are going to look them up, I say "some of them are grittier, so read the descriptions before you pick one up." One of the church ladies has eaten them up as beta readers, and her favourite is the most violent one I have published, so you never know!
If you're afraid to say 'erotica' to your dad, and have already told him 'romance', you can always tell him 'women's stuff' to warn him off. Or you might mention that some of it is just a little bit naughty...
Dad I wrote a book. It you might not want your bible study group to read it. I understand because my mother reading my book opened her eyes to a whole new side of her son that mothers probably shouldn't know about.
At the end of the day you are the one who has to be happy.
P.D. Workman (Pamela) wrote: "I don't write erotica, but was a little nervous letting my mom beta read for me, as my stories tend to be pretty gritty and sometimes downright disturbing. But she's been okay with it, and has only..."Thanks for sharing! I will definitely use the "you might want to skip chapter x" tactic.
The thing is my parents are the type that will want to share my book with everyone they know and will not understand when I tell them this might not be the book to do that with. I'm not writing filth, but it's definitely erotica so I think I might have to publish this one kinda sneakily lol.
Alex wrote: "I'm male, but I did co-write some erotica a few years ago under my own name, even did reasonably well for a short while - fortunately my mum takes everything in her stride and wasn't bothered in th..."Oh awesome. Why did you stop? Did it get boring? Oh and did you pitch your books to your friends?
Alexis wrote: Thanks for sharing! I will definitely use the "you might want to skip chapter x" tactic.Sometimes I misjudge, though, and warn them about something they do not find disturbing and don't warn them about something that they do. Apparently necrotizing rattlesnake bites are not as big a deal as swarming ticks.
Alex wrote: "I stopped because I had issues with my co-author, major disagreements over royalties and some other problems, which is why I've been away from the writing scene for a while and I'm now back using a..."Ah, thanks for sharing, I can be a bit nosy sometimes. Welcome back to the mad house :)
Yes, I noticed that with one of my books that is on Wattpad. No problem with the character who has killed two children, but someone kicks a dog 80% of the way through the story, and a few readers won't finish the book. (The dog is okay. And it wasn't like they weren't warned right in the beginning that the character tortured animals.)
P.D. Workman (Pamela) wrote: "Alexis wrote: Thanks for sharing! I will definitely use the "you might want to skip chapter x" tactic.Sometimes I misjudge, though, and warn them about something they do not find disturbing and d..."
"Necrotizing". Thanks for teaching me a new word Pamela lol. In my defense it's cause Dutch not illiterate, hehe.
Do you warn your readers regarding the content of your books? E.g.: Don't read at night OR ELSE. :p
Jessica wrote: "Unless you're writing auto-biographical erotica, just remind your dad it's made up and you're writing it for other people's enjoyment."I can't even right now...
I don't write anywhere near erotica, but if I did it would be under a pen name, and nope, I wouldn't pitch it to family. But that's because I'd be embarrassed. If you're not worried about being embarrassed, eh, why not tell them?
Thomas wrote: "Jessica wrote: "Unless you're writing auto-biographical erotica, just remind your dad it's made up and you're writing it for other people's enjoyment."I can't even right now...
I don't write any..."
I'm worried about being embarrassed lol.
Lol my first book has a few semi-real life pieces and so most of my immediate family thinks of it as MY story. It's not full-blown erotica but there are sex scenes. My mom and both of my sisters read it but I told my dad NEVER! He didn't argue. My grandmother, however, did read it and she LOVED IT
Lynzie wrote: "Lol my first book has a few semi-real life pieces and so most of my immediate family thinks of it as MY story. It's not full-blown erotica but there are sex scenes. My mom and both of my sisters re..."LOL yes. I let a friend of mine read a chapter and I swear she sees me in a totally different light. I tried to convince her it was all 100% made up but she didn't believe me lol.
Alex wrote: "Alexis wrote: I'm worried about being embarrassed lol."Tell your family you're going to be the next E L James and if they support you you'll buy them a house or a car, lol."
No, no, no Santa Claus behavior on my part until it gets made into a horrible cheesy movie with completely miscasted pretty people.
Lol.
Well, I let a neighbor acquaintance read mine and we ended up being really good friends so it could be a good thing!
Mod
Okay, let's do this! I am CB Archer, and I write erotica. And not just run of the mill stuff, my stuff is the crazy stuff!
How did I tell my friends? With words. They are all adults, they all thought it was hilarious that I did that and they mostly bought copies.
How did I tell people I am related to? Accidentally! Thanks to a facebook post I messed up they all now know that I write sexy elfrotica books.
Funny thing is, only two family members have ever asked for more info and one lead to a sale. I know I am a source of scandal and gossip now, but honestly - it's more talking about me than people did before they found out. So, that's something. (Hooray! Popular!)
However, a good idea - If they don't ask for more info, you don't need to tell them. :)
If you want to tell, tell! If you don't dont!
C.B. wrote: "*Cracks Knuckles*Okay, let's do this! I am CB Archer, and I write erotica. And not just run of the mill stuff, my stuff is the crazy stuff!
How did I tell my friends? With words. They are all ad..."
Thanks for the advice! And can I just say, I just checked out your books (like I told Alex: nosy!) and I love the warnings at the end of the blurbs. I laughed so hard just now: Warning: Contains m/m situations and pixelated monster banging.
I will tell my friends and take their ribbing like a big girl. :)
Gonna see how well it does before I tell the parents lol. No need to give my dad heart palpitations for a book that moves like two copies.
Mod
I will tell my friends and take their ribbing like a big girl. :)
Gonna see how well it does before I tell the parents lol."
I am sure your friends will be fine with it, they are your friends after all! :)
After you get that good ribbing you will likely have two things: Some new fans from people that want to see what all the fuss is about, and some good inspiration for that latest scene in your next book about all of that sexy ribbing! (What, oh? Not that kind of ribbing? Well, still, could be fun!)
Let me know how you Comey Outty Smutty Party! goes. Bring cupcakes! (That's what I decided the name of your party should be)
Also, thank you! I'm always happy to hear I made someone laugh, snort, or chortle!
Alexis wrote: Do you warn your readers regarding the content of your books? E.g.: Don't read at night OR ELSE. :pI have one with a serious warning: [Warning - contains disturbing scenes of abuse]
I have two with playful warnings:
- Do things with lots of legs creep you out? This may not be the book for you...
- You’ll never look at your dog the same way again.
Mostly, I just try to give descriptions that will give people a feel for the content. You can have a browse through them and see what you think!
Mod
I don't really talk about my writing with my family as I know I do not write the kinds of books they would enjoy. Dad likes John Grisham. Mom likes (Christina will laugh at this I guarantee) Amish romance. I don't write Amish anything and I'm not John Grisham.
I just straight told my friends and family. The only person I didn't tell was my grandma, but I bet she would have laughed and read it anyways. Then again, I'm lucky and I have a very open and understanding relationship with my family and friends. Not everyone has that.
Mod
Honestly, I don't worry about it. I write to stave off boredom, so pretty much I write for myself.
But I do talk to them about all the aspects of my books, like the one with the heroine who wields a dildo as her weapon.
Then again, they are the ones who let me watch truly adult shows when I was a young child. I like that they trusted me to separate the line between what was adult and what wasn't at a young age. May have made me a little twisted as an adult though, lol.
@Dwayne: Really? Now that I've decided to tell my friends, I plan to be very annoying and shameless about it. @Emma: Lucky indeed Emma!
@Riley: Dildo wielding heroine, sounds like a good scene, lol.
Thanks for the feedback everyone :)
What a fun thread. Especially appropriate for me as I'm finally deciding to massage some of my more erotic stories into shape, pun very much intended. I personally don't intend to discuss it with my parents, since I know it isn't in their genre - some of mine is fairly hardcore and in a very specific niche. However, I know just how popular erotica is so I want to get on that erotic train. Now that's a fun image. Anyway, someone's bound to like my stuff. Oddly, I had that talk with my parents - in reverse. My dad rather sheepishly said he needed some help editing a book, but it had some erotic elements - and if I had trouble working on the book, he'd understand. Long story short, I dealt with it just as I would deal with any other writer's work, and the case of embarrassment passed quickly.
At first though it was like "OMG! My DAD wrote that!"
All that said, I intend to just use my first two initials and my last name as my pen name. That way I'm traceable but random innocent web searches shouldn't bring them up.
I don't write erotica per se, but I do write chick lit with sexy scenes in it. No, I would never tell my parents. Frankly, I think they would rather not know. I think they would prefer to just think of me as a virgin until the day they die.
My family and friends all think I'm odd, weird, reprehensible, bad, swearword heavy, and not a good candidate for babysitting so I have no problems when they read my books. Which are really quite mild and cozy.The only one who has a problem is one of my greatest friends who finds it disturbing when a character in one of my books says something I would say in a similar situation.
Alex wrote: "Following this thread, I'm really wishing I could bang out (pun kinda intended) some erotica titles so I can make some money and hit a different crowd of readers to my usual audience"Alex, how about writing a Short Novella to test you skills?
Jane Jago wrote: "My family and friends all think I'm odd, weird, reprehensible, bad, swearword heavy, and not a good candidate for babysitting so I have no problems when they read my books. Which are really quite m..."You sound angelic Jane. :p
Well, my books are labeled contemporary romance, BUT I've been working on an erotic novel for next year. My dad doesn't read, so that's a nonissue. My mom and mother-in-law both read the same things I do, so also a nonissue because they like the genre. My friends and husband.... well, being mainly men, they say it's porn of course. But, I've always been open to talking about my books with them, and they don't judge me after reading them. :)
I write romantic suspense. My mum and step dad are the first to read my books when they are out, and never get weird about the sex scenes. I'm not ashamed of the fact that I write romance, so everyone that knows I write, knows the genre I write in, and no one has had a derogatory thing to say about it. I'm actually surprised by how chill everyone has been about it. I expected to have to get defensive!
I killed a man........just kidding, I write erotica.
Gisele wrote: "I killed a man........just kidding, I write erotica."Gisele, Gisele, my poor not-so-young-anymore parents! Lol. Plus they still haven't fully forgiven me for that one "I'm pregnant" April fools prank in college.
Alexis wrote: "Gisele wrote: "I killed a man........just kidding, I write erotica."Gisele, Gisele, my poor not-so-young-anymore parents! Lol. Plus they still haven't fully forgiven me for that one "I'm pregnant..."
Lol. I most certainly find humor in that prank, until my daughter reaches that age and does it to me.
"It's not something that truly worries me ..." But I think it does, if not the thread would not have been started. You know your dad better than anyone of us giving advice. How would he react if you tell him what you're writing? Would it be with shock or disapproval? If so, you could let him know you're writing a book, and out of respect for him, you would suggest he does not read it. I think if you have a good relationship with your dad, caution should be taken.
Yeah... never ever gonna tell my family about my writing! Other than my hubby, who kinda pushed me to start. But my family - gah, i would keel over and die, lol.
Hahaha. Okay, so I write under the umbrella of romance (meaning I've got a couple WIP's that fall under sci-fi and PNR, some that are more...racy, and my first published that's a contemporary, new adult-esque romance) and I felt super awkward writing the first sex scene. I struggled, trying to stay with the now, but my heroine didn't give two sh*t's if she fit the now, she wanted it to be true to her. So, it's detailed but in a manner that's not outright erotica. Well, my grandma took the spot as my first beta and my editor. Nothing like having your grandma tell you she needed a cold shower after reading one of them. I laughed so hard I cried, and then told her over and over how awesome she was (and still is).
Now my very male, very protective, very...man cousin asked me about said scenes. I gave the same description as above. He then asked me if it was all experience. I told him I plead the fifth and he told me that was probably a wise decision on my part. All that wasn't so bad.
I rarely see my cousin and my grandma I only see a couple times a year, but she's also a grandma who's not afraid to drop an F-bomb if the mood strikes (which is does, but not too often).
Mom read it, told me she skimmed the sex parts because it was just too weird for her to read, and then she double confirmed it wasn't all from experience since I guess my grandma asked her that (apparently my family thought I was some kind of sex fiend).
Overall, they've all just been big on the support front. Now, if my dad were to ever read it, well, I don't think I want to know how he would react to knowing all that comes from the mind of his Princess. Lol!
Alexis wrote: "C.B. wrote: "*Cracks Knuckles*Okay, let's do this! I am CB Archer, and I write erotica. And not just run of the mill stuff, my stuff is the crazy stuff!
How did I tell my friends? With words. Th..."
OMG, "pixelated monster banging". That made me burst out laughing!
Mod
I write erotic romance and I don't know how to tell my mom. :D Well, not that she needs to know, but my aunt knows and my sister knows, and my mom's going to find out about it soon anyway. Thankfully I don't have to worry about her reading my work because her English isn't that good. What I DO worry about a little bit is that my mother-in-law is currently reading my book...she hasn't gotten to the dirty bits yet, as far as I understand. *bites nails*I know we're all grown-ups and it should be okay. For some reason I have no trouble showing my writing to the great wide world, but when it comes to the immediate family it's somehow terrifying. It's none of their business LOL!
Tony wrote: ""It's not something that truly worries me ..." But I think it does, if not the thread would not have been started. You know your dad better than anyone of us giving advice. How would he react if yo..."Thanks for the thoughtful feedback! What I meant it, I'm not worried he'll disown me or respect me less or anything like that but he might not be comfortable with it all. My relationship with my parents is really important to me and I wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize that.. But in the end, it is my choice to write what I write and he'll have to respect that.
Anna wrote: "I write erotic romance and I don't know how to tell my mom. :D Well, not that she needs to know, but my aunt knows and my sister knows, and my mom's going to find out about it soon anyway. Thankful..."LOL! The fact that my mom doesn't speak or read too much English is also the reason why only my dad is the focus of this thread.
Are you sure your mom is still in the dark? :p Sisters can be blabbermouths. Or so I hear. I'm an only child.
Just give him a signed copy and let him read it for himself.
C.B. wrote: ":D pixelated monster banging is kinda my thing and it brings a smile to my face everytime I hear it caused milk to shoot out people's noses!"I am a new fiction writer, and similar to many of you I anxiously thought about how my work would be received by family, friends and other colleagues. The anxiety was based on my anticipation of their perceptions to the themes and characters development. Would the depraved immoral acts of my protagonist be interpreted as a memoir, biographical depiction of my life and me? How will family react? I had to ask myself if, in fact, that’s who I was and used fiction for cover. Only when I accepted that my writing was greater than me, was I able to move forward and publish; notwithstanding speculation, opining and criticisms both positive and negative. It unchained and freed my creativity to enter a dimension I had not experienced before. I was a writer expressing not my story but channeling universal themes and life situations. The community of human existence/experience is not always pleasant--but such is life.
I agree with Ray. I can't seem to get it through to my family that my writing is not a memoir. My first book has a scene where the protagonist and his brother steal a pair of railroad locomotives to joyride in as kids. It never happened.
Alexis wrote: "Alex wrote: "Following this thread, I'm really wishing I could bang out (pun kinda intended) some erotica titles so I can make some money and hit a different crowd of readers to my usual audience"..."
I've been thinking the same thing, wanting to try writing erotica, and a short novella is a good way to start! Thanks! And I'm not so sure yet about sharing with the family.......
C.B. wrote: ":D pixelated monster banging is kinda my thing and it brings a smile to my face everytime I hear it caused milk to shoot out people's noses!"hahaha! I have quite the visual in my head and tea dribbling down my chin!
It got me thinking.
For those of you who write let's say naughty books, do you pitch it to family and friends?
(P.S. It's not something that truly worries me although I do expect the whole conversation to be awkward as hell.)