November 2016 Group Read Discussion

[Quantum]

Welcome to our first group read!

"Unlock the key to creating a cultivated life for your child with this targeted parenting guide. You will learn how to raise an engaging, accomplished and sophisticated child, one who gets noticed for all the right reasons. From fine dining, travel and art appreciation to navigating social media with integrity - Beyond Good Manners: How to Raise a Sophisticated Child will show you how to take your child to the next level of personal and social development. Whether your child is 5 or 15 this is the one book you will reference time and again for advice and techniques that are relevant, practical and insightful."

Tara's book is currently on sale for $0.99 on Amazon to make it easy for everyone to participate. She also encourages any group member who can't afford the book at this time to contact her in order to receive a free PDF. We know $0.99 won't break the bank, but we also don't want any barriers to participation. So, let's enjoy a good read together!

https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Good-Ma...

[Quantum]

I got my copy.

[Tara Woods Turner]

Alex G wrote: "I got my copy."

(Thumbs up!)

[Alexis]

I wish MY parents had read this book, lol. I've got my copy as well.

[Tara Woods Turner]

Alexis wrote: "I wish MY parents had read this book, lol. I've got my copy as well."

Lol Alexis I've actually had two parents of grown children read it to rate themselves after the fact! Funny!

[Eldon]

Are we doing author Q&A here too?

[Tara Woods Turner]

Eldon wrote: "Are we doing author Q&A here too?"

Yes!

[Eldon]

Cool. My question would be what drew you to the subject matter? Was it personal experience or observation of the need for more sophisticated children?

[Tara Woods Turner]

Eldon wrote: "Cool. My question would be what drew you to the subject matter? Was it personal experience or observation of the need for more sophisticated children?"

Excellent question! The answer is that it was a combination. It was personal for me because good manners was something that was heavily stressed in my upbringing. My mother, an original Southern Belle lol, was of the opinion that "manners will take you where money won't" and that showing respect to others is an obligation and not a choice. So that attitude has always governed my interaction with people and the results have been overwhelmingly positive. Part of why I wrote the book was to do homage to my amazing mother, who lost her battle with cancer last year. In a practical sense I wrote the book because it was the book I found myself searching for and could not find. There were literally hundreds of books dealing with manners for kids and etiquette for children etc but none that helped parents figure out how to take their children to the next level. That got me thinking and I began to notice little things all around me. For instance, if I observed a family dining in a restaurant, the children were more or less well behaved but there was something missing. They weren't climbing onthe furniture or throwing food but there was also no sense of decorum. No one was going out of their way to make quiet conversation, people were on their phones and devices, the children didn't take it upon themselves to help the parents clear the table or help the mother or sister into their sweaters etc.

I am also a certified etquette consultant and when I got the idea for this book I contacted my former clients and asked them what they thought. The response was overwhelmingly positive. They agreed that after the pleases and thank-yous are absorbed by kids they need higher goals to be established by parents. So I was encouraged and rolled up my sleeves. Writing was the book was deceptively easy because I literally could not stop writing. I had so much to say and soon the book became a love letter to parents and their kids!

[Marie Silk]

Wow Tara, that is a wonderful answer. I am sorry for your loss. What a loving tribute to your mother. I have read many parenting books and have never seen anything like yours. Looking forward to the next in your series <3

[Tara Woods Turner]

Marie wrote: "Wow Tara, that is a wonderful answer. I am sorry for your loss. What a loving tribute to your mother. I have read many parenting books and have never seen anything like yours. Looking forward to th..."

Thank you so much! That means more than I can say, honestly. Writing the book actually helped me in the grieving process because I was flooded with so many great memories and sometimes it seemed like I could hear our conversations as I wrote. I was conscious of the fact that most parents are truly doing the best that they can and being a parent is such a huge responsibility. I didn't want to sound preachy or make parents feel like it's my way or the highway lol. Encouragement and patience and understanding are just as important in non-fiction as it is in parenting so I wanted to mirror that attitude as best I could. We all want the same outcome - amazing kids!

[Eldon]

Thanks for the terrific answer Tara. Accept my condolences on your loss and know you wrote a helpful book that I'm sure your mother would be proud of!!

[Tara Woods Turner]

Eldon wrote: "Thanks for the terrific answer Tara. Accept my condolences on your loss and know you wrote a helpful book that I'm sure your mother would be proud of!!"

((Hugs))

[Lynn]

Hi Tara,

I'm not planning on having children, but after reading your well-written intro it seemed like there might be some things we as adults could learn from your book as well. What do you think?

[Tara Woods Turner]

Lynn wrote: "Hi Tara,

I'm not planning on having children, but after reading your well-written intro it seemed like there might be some things we as adults could learn from your book as well. What do you think?"

I love this question :) You've actually touched on a pount that was important to me as I wrote the book. I decided it would be unwise to write as if everyone automatically knew the basics of etiquette. The book is only 1/3 protocol but it seemed to me that by giving refreshers on some common points of manners and courtesies it would give some readers exposure to them for the first time in a way that is not condescending or presumptious. It turns out to have been a good decision and I can gratefully tell you that many of my teviewers have said they learned as much themselves as what they had hoped to learn for their children. That makes me so happy! It also highlights that the principles, activities and suggestions in the book are really all about whole family involvement and benefit. I can assure you, however, that although directed at child-rearing, every single chapter in the book is designed to improve anyone of any age as a person.

[Marie Silk]

I learned a lot from the book for myself. I remember cringing when I read about how to properly get in and out of a car, just because it is so unlike my standard plopping myself into the seat :D. I came away from the book with the message to live in a more thoughtful way and hopefully more graceful way, although I do need to go back and re-read to remember how to do that. I thought the whole book seemed written in a compassionate tone, not judgmental at all. So Tara, you certainly accomplished that goal :).

[Tara Woods Turner]

Marie wrote: "I learned a lot from the book for myself. I remember cringing when I read about how to properly get in and out of a car, just because it is so unlike my standard plopping myself into the seat :D. I..."

Thank you lol...in the words of my husband (view spoiler)[""Hell, even I'm more sophisticated now" (hide spoiler)]

[Bob]

Lynn wrote: "Hi Tara,

I'm not planning on having children, but after reading your well-written intro it seemed like there might be some things we as adults could learn from your book as well. What do you think?"

Shows wisdom, Lynn. If I were a young person, I'd choose to be childfree too.
:)
Bob

[Tara Woods Turner]

Okay, Bob, I'm curious lol.

[Bob]

There are too many people on this planet. The bounty of nature is shrinking (we are now in the 6th great extinction event of earth) and population is growing, still. This means guaranteed misery for millions. I should not add to that, and should not expose a lovely young person-to-be to such a future.

[Mehreen]

Bob wrote: "There are too many people on this planet. The bounty of nature is shrinking (we are now in the 6th great extinction event of earth) and population is growing, still. This means guaranteed misery fo..."


Those who can raise them properly should have them. Who knows which one of our children would bring nature around, make it bountiful again?

[Tara Woods Turner]

Mehreen wrote: "Bob wrote: "There are too many people on this planet. The bounty of nature is shrinking (we are now in the 6th great extinction event of earth) and population is growing, still. This means guarante..."

Beautifu sentiment.

[Tara Woods Turner]

Bob wrote: "There are too many people on this planet. The bounty of nature is shrinking (we are now in the 6th great extinction event of earth) and population is growing, still. This means guaranteed misery fo..."

Your reasoning is very selfless and well thought out. I also worry about over-population and its implications but at the same time there are no practical ways to wrangle with the concept of eugenics. I'm also assuming that your fears are based on the now defunct Malthusian model which theorized world-wide food shortages relative to population growth. It has been proveb that even if population growth is exponential food resources don't need to expand at the same rate. There is and will continue to be enough food - the problem has been, is and continues to be the politics of unjust distribution. So everyone should resolve to do what every ethical resource model dictates and if it is meant for someone to start and raise a beautiful, loving family then I choose to celebrate it.

[Nik]

I surely understand the argument why not kids. At that, a little philosophical - but is there a clear meaning to life beyond kids?

[Lynn]

Nik wrote: "I surely understand the argument why not kids. At that, a little philosophical - but is there a clear meaning to life beyond kids?"

I find my life's meaning in creating art and sharing it with others. :)

[Nik]

Lynn wrote: "I find my life's meaning in creating art and sharing it with others. :).."

Fair enough, sounds meaningful to me -:)

[Quantum]

This book reminded me of the importance to building good relationships is writing thank you letters when you've been invited to a large dinner party

[Bob]

Nik wrote: "I surely understand the argument why not kids. At that, a little philosophical - but is there a clear meaning to life beyond kids?"

Too right there is. My daughter decided to be childfree when she was still a teenager. Now she is a beloved auntie to some dozen kids, and has a business in which she is mentor and guide to many small businesses. She puts all her maternal love into her business activities.
The only problem is that she tends to work longer hours than she bills for, and often worries more about her clients' problems than they do themselves.

[Quantum]

interesting recommendation that i got in relation to "Beyond Good Manners: Secrets of Antigravity Propulsion: Tesla, UFOs, and Classified Aerospace Technology. do good manners apply to aliens as well?

[Nik]

That's an interesting pairing, no doubt. The algorithms get sophisticated beyond manners and measures -:)

[Michael]

Sorry this is late. I dropped out of all my groups for awhile while I was finishing my last novel. It was a focus thing. Anyway, I listened to the first 25% or so on audio-book while I was working on our car. I have to be honest, during that time I was thinking to myself, this is mostly common sense stuff. Later that day, I was at the grocery store picking up something for dinner (yes, I cook and clean as well as doing the manly stuff) and there was this little boy, maybe six or seven, who was running up and down the aisle I was in, pushing one of those kid-sized shopping carts and screaming at the top of his lungs that he wanted chocolate milk. His mother (I'm assuming it was his mother) completely ignored him and continued shopping. No joke. The first thing I thought of was Tara's book and the kid in the restaurant at the intro. This kid was way worse though. Right then I thought to myself, maybe what Tara was talking about isn't common sense to everyone. So, over the next few days, I finished reading the book with my eyes instead of my ears and more of an open mind. It turns out there was a great deal of useful stuff in there that I didn't already know, and frankly, never would have thought of. The book is really well written and is put forth in a completely unpretentious manner. Nice work, Tara.

[Quantum]

Almost done! In the travel chapter. So many great ideas makes it hard to choose which ones to start with. Travel shouldn't be about cramming in all the tourist spots, but instead be about giving enough time to appreciate and learn.

[Marie Silk]

Alex G wrote: "interesting recommendation that i got in relation to "Beyond Good Manners: Secrets of Antigravity Propulsion: Tesla, UFOs, and Classified Aerospace Technology. do good manners apply ..."

Haha this is great. Totally a book I would read, too :)