The Rosie Project

[Sumit]

Don Tillman, professor of genetics, has never been on a second date. He is a man who can count all his friends on the fingers of one hand, whose lifelong difficulty with social rituals has convinced him that he is simply not wired for romance. So when an acquaintance informs him that he would make a “wonderful” husband, his first reaction is shock. Yet he must concede to the statistical probability that there is someone for everyone, and he embarks upon The Wife Project. In the orderly, evidence-based manner with which he approaches all things, Don sets out to find the perfect partner. She will be punctual and logical—most definitely not a barmaid, a smoker, a drinker, or a late-arriver.

So, does he find her? Or is he condemned to a life of lonely regret? Let's read on and find out.

[Ahtims]

Have read it. Quite hilarious.

[Sumit]

Smitha wrote: "Have read it. Quite hilarious."

Smitha, I'm reading it right now. And often, I develop an ache in my jaw because I'm grinning ear to ear while reading. :P

[Misha]

loved this book... :-):-)

[Sumit]

Ok, since both of you have already finished, let's discuss a couple of things.

1. If you came across someone like Don Tillman in real life, how would you ordinarily react? (Scorn, annoyance, sympathy, or other emotions?)

2. What do you think society needs to do to help in integrating people like Don better?

[Srividya]

I simply loved this book. It was funny, quirky and extremely realistic in its portrayal, at least according to me.

To answer your questions Sumit, I would have to admit that I have been living with someone who has some of the same symptoms for the past 7 years. Yes, Shrija. While she has not been diagnosed as having Asperger's Syndrome, I have to admit that she does show some of the symptoms.

She is an extremely friendly child, which makes it really difficult for her to be a true Asperger's person. However, there are times when she makes conversations that are totally unrelated and often not suited to the company. She is someone who relates better with older and more mature people than with kids her age. Sad but true. This has led to her experiencing a lot of scorn from kids and has reached a point where she is friends with very few. While initially she did not even understand that people around her were actually mocking her, now with medication and improvement in her ability to discern, this is no longer true. It ultimately ended with a vibrant enthusiastic child becoming a mere shell of her formal self. More withdrawn and speaking only to those who really know her. Of course, things will improve with time as she is not one who is seriously impaired and this is simply a minor problem. However, this has made me more sensitive towards those with real problems.

When I go for her sessions I see many kids with similar or worse symptoms, even autistic children. Where my initial reaction would have been one filled with love combined with sympathy; today I am only filled with love and want to make it better for them.

To answer your second question, I believe educating people regarding such issues will help in integrating people like Don better into society. People don't know and therefore look at it with different emotions ranging from sympathy, pity to outright scorn and annoyance. However, I am sure if there is a better education campaign with regard to such issues, it will help in the long run.

Finally, while going through Graeme Simsion's website, I came across this response from a lady who had a child with a similar problem. She thanked him for portraying the syndrome and such children/ adults in such a perfect manner. She said that her child was one of those who was brilliant but often not understood but after reading this book, she said it gave her hope that maybe he will be able to integrate better at a later stage.

I felt/feel the same way.

[Sumit]

Thanks for sharing that, Sri. What you shared reaffirms my belief that such books are entertaining, no doubt. But, one must look beyond the layers and take something away from such works.

As a society, it is easy to shun everyone who is 'different' or who doesn't fall into socially defined criteria. I guess that's how we are conditioned from the time we are born.

A baby is weighed, when born - and then classified as 'average', 'healthy', or 'underweight'. And thus begins the story of being benchmarked. For life.

Also, I think many people somehow fear/resent those who sound more intelligent than them. Of course, some are plain ignorant. For example, till I started watching The Big Bang Theory, I'd simply have laughed at someone like Sheldon Cooper if I met him/her in real life.

But, educating people will surely help. And yes, this book does build a lot of hope and awareness as well.

Thanks for sharing your opinions!

[Ahtims]

1. I would probably react with amused tolerance, coz he makes me laugh out loud, though its not his intention.
But in real life, interacting with such people on a day to day life can be extremely tolling. One has to have considerable amount of patience and understanding.
I have seen autistic kids who are extremely uncontrollable, and their parents who are under considerable stress. My heart goes out to them.
2. It would be difficult for such people to be fully integrated into society, especially one like ours with overpopulation and less awareness. Support system being available (if at all) only in bigger cities. The onus goes to family and friends to make them comfortable. I don't think the general public will be aware of their needs and emotions.

[Misha]

Sumit wrote: "Ok, since both of you have already finished, let's discuss a couple of things.

1. If you came across someone like Don Tillman in real life, how would you ordinarily react? (Scorn, annoyance, sympa..."

1. On an every day basis, people like Don Tillman can be extremely difficult to deal with. A good deal of patience might be required to be around people like him. Initially, one might feel a little annoyed, given our fast-paced lifestyle, but I think it's all about how much you want to be with them (say if that person is someone from your family/someone extremely close), it's about having the patience to understand them. I feel it is not sympathy what they expect from people, it's just the need to understand them, to understand that they are a little different.

2. Educating people about such conditions will help to a certain extent, but I feel integrating them into the society might not be that easy. Like in the case of Don Tillman, if I remember exactly, he showed extreme signs of punctuality, a strict sense of behaviour. These qualities might be a little easier to deal with, but it might not be the case with everyone. Integrating them into the society will prove to be tedious, though it can be tried at varying levels.

[Sumit]

The Rosie Effect - releasing Sept 2014. Now that is surely a book I'll be pre-ordering! :D

[Ahtims]

Oh, thanks. Will be watching out, too

[Sumit]

Me too, Smitha!

Oh, and thanks for your points, Misha. They make perfect sense!