Through the Gloom

[Jennifer]

I find writing a blurb for the second book in a series particularly difficult. Gloom is not a stand alone book. So how do I write a blurb without giving anything from the first book away. Below is what I came up with but it seems vague and boring, and honestly sounds a lot like the blurb from my first book. Any suggestions?


Lyric Yama’s life is starting to feel as bleak as the purgatory she spends her days.

Enemies no longer appear so wicked while allies are cloaked in secrets and shadow. The Hathors treat her as an unwelcome house guest. Her brother avoids her, and her ghost vanished in a fit of rage. To top things off, she’s agreed to exploit her Veilwalker gifts for her new coven leader.

As Lyric sinks deeper in the quicksand of lies and deceit, she’s forced to re-evaluate exactly what she signed up for.

Is the pursuit for truth worth becoming the very evil she’s been running from? And if so, can she survive the soul-crushing loss that truth will ultimately reveal?

This is the second installment of Jennifer R. McDonald’s Veilwalker Trilogy.

[Jason]

We can trim this. Rearrange, condense. Let me have a few minutes.

[Jennifer]

Current Jason is on the case!

[Jason]

First thought - the "quicksand" paragraph is good. The ones before it don't feel right. Too long and over-verbose.

I think a 1-2 sentence summary of the transition of Lyric from Bk 1 to Bk 2 would serve better. A "No longer...now she..." type thing. Don't mention the ghost this time - reader can learn that.

More to come.

[J.S.]

First sentence. Should it not be 'the purgatory in which she spends her days'?

[Jennifer]

I agree that it's over-verbose, Jason.

Nice catch, Joanne, and an easy fix.

[Jason]

As a suggestion -

The line between enemies and allies has blurred. To find the truth, Lyric has agreed to exploit her Veilwalker gifts for her new coven leader.

Then everything after fits well and looks great!

[Jennifer]

I love it, Jason. Now if I steal it, will it be considered plagiarism?
Hmmm...

[Jason]

Not if I give it to you.

And I do!

[Jennifer]

Okay, what about this?

Lyric Yama’s life is starting to feel as bleak as the purgatory in which she spends her days.

The line between enemy and ally has blurred. To find the truth behind a heinous murder, she’s agreed to exploit her veilwalking gifts for her new coven leader.

But as the Lyric sinks deeper in the quicksand of lies and deceit, she’s forced to re-evaluate exactly what she signed up for.

Is the pursuit for truth worth becoming the very evil she’s been running from? And if so, can she survive the soul-crushing loss that truth will ultimately reveal?

This is the second installment of Jennifer R. McDonald’s Veilwalker Trilogy.


It's not very long, and I used Truth three times:(

[Jason]

To unravel a heinous murder?

Cuts out a truth.

[Jennifer]

Nice!!