I Need Royal Decrees, and I Need 'Em Now!

[Melki]

Because I participated in Cards Against Humanity's Eight Sensible Gifts for Hanukkah promotion last year, I have been appointed King of Sensible Castle for three minutes. My reign begins on October 13, 2016 at 11:39AM CDT, and ends on October 13, 2016 at 11:42AM CDT. So, I have 180 glorious seconds to make royal decrees, and...I can't think of any.

Won't you please help keep my kingdom from descending into chaos?

Decree me, people!

[Joel]

Just to get the ball rolling...

Moderators at future Presidential debates will be armed with Tasers.

Store employees may say Merry Christmas only if they've wished customers a Happy Hanukkah first.

Restaurants other than Chinese ones will all be open on Dec. 25.

Stupid bank holidays that nobody celebrates anyway are to be eliminated.

[Melki]

Joel wrote: "Just to get the ball rolling...

Moderators at future Presidential debates will be armed with Tasers.

Store employees may say Merry Christmas only if they've wished customers a Happy Hanukkah firs..."

Ex-cellent!

[Brenda]

For the taser one, may I suggest that the audience gets to decide when the tasers should be used?

[Jay]

Brenda wrote: "For the taser one, may I suggest that the audience gets to decide when the tasers should be used?"

Are we allowed to decide to turn them on and leave them on???

[Joel]

Jay wrote: "Brenda wrote: "For the taser one, may I suggest that the audience gets to decide when the tasers should be used?"

Are we allowed to decide to turn them on and leave them on???"

Yes, but we'll have to charge for it.

[Brenda]

Joel wrote: "Jay wrote: "Brenda wrote: "For the taser one, may I suggest that the audience gets to decide when the tasers should be used?"

Are we allowed to decide to turn them on and leave them on???"

Yes, b..."

If you publicized that well enough, you could make enough money to pay off the national debt.