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I suppose you think that's punny.
We put ten puns into this thread to try to make Kath smile. No pun in ten did.
Brilliant thread BJ - I started one in another group (now folded) - so I'll be able to get my pun fix here now, especially as I've just been fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
I dedicate this thread to Spider Robinson and the brilliant punsters of Callahans Crosstime Saloon. If you haven't read it you haven't lived! (Insert brilliant pun here)
I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
It looks as if we may be the only two with the pun gene. I'll just have to be the ebb to your Flo. Did you hear about the Buddhists who refuse injections at the dentist? They're looking to transcend dental medication.
You can't be optimistic with a misty optic said my mum every time she cleaned her specs.
Nice one Lynne's Mum!I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
I'll join in if you don't mind the smell. I'm pun gent.
I can't join in at the moment, as I'm busy. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity and it's impossible to put down
I tried to teach my dog to bring the ball back but he just didn't get it :(
I'm not very well at the moment. I think it's one of those Elizabethan illnesses, because I'm feeloing quite ruff.
I was going to read this thread before going to the shops, but I don't have the thyme.
Neither do I, so I was going to ask Rosemary to get me some
That is sage advice. parsley the basil there, Herb!
dyslexic man walks into a bra.
He should learn sign language - it comes in handy sometimes.
eastwood (do you feel lucky punk,well do ya) wrote: "dyslexic man walks into a bra."or was it an arb?
The insomniac, dyslexic agnostic who lay awake all night wondering if there is a dog.
Is that the one who found he'd sold his soul to Santa?
I was going to take my hen for a walk this morning, but it was too cold, and I chickened out.
So how eggzactly is your hen going to manage without any eggsercise?Well, someone had to...
message 25:
by
eastwood (do you feel lucky punk,well do ya)
(last edited Oct 13, 2016 01:49AM)
(new)
eggsordinary !
Did you lot sleep in the knife box last night ?
Thats what I call a cutting remark, Anita!
I'm steeling myself for more cutlery puns.
your too sharp for us.
My pet angora has been taken away by the police because it keeps butting people. I'm annoyed... they've really got my goat!
Just seen a reference to Izal toilet paper on TV. Didn't that brand come to an end?
Chris wrote: "I'm steeling myself for more cutlery puns."As long as you don't get stroppy if they don't arrive!!!
Razor-sharp wit, Flo. I was hoping for some sterling cutlery puns, but people seem to be hinting that I should fork off. Perhaps they need spoon-feeding?
............are you telling me that I'm a stirrer?
An old friend of mine was an expert stirrer - they called him Kenwood Carey!
I asked Madhur Jaffrey and Ken Hom to mix my cake. Madhur wouldn't, but Ken wood
T4bsF (Call me Flo) wrote: "............are you telling me that I'm a stirrer?"No first prize, but you get the wooden spoon.
Speaking of spoons, I was hoping to hear that early voice recording of Dr. William Spooner discussing the care of small water craft beloved of University students on the Thames at Oxford. Apparently his "Care of Punts" is an entertaining listen.
I know I'm straying from puns, but speaking of entertaining listening, I'm hoping to get a CD of Christmas carols by the Tourettes Syndrome Male Voice Choir.
I know someone who follows them religiously - and he swears they'll reach no. 1 one day!!
Chris wrote: "Speaking of spoons, I was hoping to hear that early voice recording of Dr. William Spooner discussing the care of small water craft ..."Great guy, the Rev Spooner. He gave me my finest review. He said I was a shining wit.
I was visiting him one day and noticed a large black stain on his garage floor - he said it was from a well-boiled icicle!
Oh I remember him, wasn't he the one who told a student that he had tasted the whole worm, and he would be sent home on the town drain!
My mum has a habit of getting her words mixed up. She told me that our vicar has 'a pie in every finger', she told me to get 'a nail and some hammers' and she told my dad to go and hoover the grass. She also said that his new outfit suited him 'down the drain', and that a scruffy old man was 'dressed in drag'.
if alcohol affects short term memory, what does alcohol do ?
A man died today when a load of books fell on his head. He only had his shelf to blame.
I should have been annoyed when we had a powercut tonight, but I was delighted.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
Speaking of which:
Q: Why can't adders take caffeine?
A: Because it makes them viperactive.
Safe in the knowledge that Kath won't venture into this thread, I can risk these comments about archaeologists,
They are often heard saying, "We want archaic and eat it, too."
Trying to read ancient writing has runed many a career.