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I suppose you think that's punny.
message 201:
by
Chris
(new)
Oct 26, 2016 12:16PM
The un-baptized knight - Sir Name-Only
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And then there's the knight who may soon be unwelcome at the top table - Sir Philip Green.
The Knight from Hyde Park - Sir Pentine
B J wrote: "And then there's the knight who may soon be unwelcome at the top table - Sir Philip Green."Brilliant!
The very happy Russian knight - Sir Gay
My wife and I went to a fancy dress party the other week dressed as a princess and a pirate respectively. Another couple arrived at the same time. She was dressed as a Japanese Admiral, but he just had bits of shaggy old string and cord tied around him. Looking at him in surprise, I asked, "Oh! Haven't you come in fancy dress?"
The man replied, "I'm afraid not!"
(Think about it)
Chris wrote: "My wife and I went to a fancy dress party the other week dressed as a princess and a pirate respectively. Another couple arrived at the same time. She was dressed as a Japanese Admiral, but he just..."Got it! Say out loud, rather than thinking.
Are expensive flood defences just a drain on the country?
Its all a massive lack of pies!
I've stopped playing poker at the safari park since I discovered there are a lot of cheetahs there.
I've just been to the haberdashers. Scissors were a snip, but Velcro was a rip-off.
Thought about kicking my slippers off but I got cold feet.
Granny went to the hospital for a hip replacement which was good, but to cap it all they gave her a new knee as well.
A man got to the till at Waterstones with two paperbacks. Unfortunately he didn't have his wallet on him. He frantically searched his pockets while the amused cashier looked on.
Eventually, finding nothing of value to exchange for the paperbacks, he tore off his lower trouser leg and offered it to the cashier.
"That's a turnup for the books," the man replied, smugly.
Erm.Actually, he went into the next door coffee shop, got the free wifi code and downloaded the books much cheaper from Amazon.
Duda ting.
My son was doing a crossword the other day and the clue was 'heavily laden postman'.He asked me for help and I asked how many letters.
'Oh loads', was the reply...
Nice one. We, my twin sisters and I (genuinely), were doing the crossword dinnertime today. My sister read out the clue "Before Lamb", which had a two word answer 3 & 4 letters respectively. While I was still pondering this rather unusual clue - she started writing the answer........ Red Meat. I looked rather puzzled until she read the clue again - this time, I heard it differently........ "Beef or Lamb"
Now who's being silly??? Anyways - I'm off to do jury service tomorrow, but I have to go to the dentist first. I've signed the consent form for him to remove the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth!!!
Is your appointment for too-thurty?
No - I'll still be busy then - so it would just gum up the works.
Ok - but I'm still trying to get to the root of the problem
I did wonder if there should be a prize for the best pun, but after thinking about it, I decided a good pun is its own re-word.
Just heard that if you get arrested here you're expected to take your mugshot!Cellfie.
Prisoners can't do Cellfies - mobile phones are barred!
Wanted to get some musicians in, but they were band!
............and every morning - it's the same old thing for breakfast - Porridge!!
Well if you can't do the thyme, don't do the cream.
Advice from Basil, our resident Sage...
I wouldn't take any notice of him - he's a bit of a dill.
That's because he's been visiting Corrie and 'er partner.
I bet they told him to cumin. Did he ginger them up?
Yes - after he'd put his jumper on as it was a bit chilli!
What a chicken! Sounds like he was trying to curry favour. He needs to beef his arguments instead of staying as quiet as a lamb.
He was a pheasant plucker!
Yes - he's a lily livered coward.
Would you like to meat him and get a steak in the business? Or should he be given the chop?
Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "He was a pheasant plucker!"I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's son, and I'm only plucking pheasants till the other pluckers come
You're a game old bird, Jim!
You lot are bacon my heart.
Patti (baconater) wrote: "You lot are bacon my heart."We couldn't if we fried.
