The pants-soiling nightmare thread

[Dwayne, Head of Lettuce]

One of those awful mods complained that I put the following post in the wrong place and it belonged in the "pants-pooping nightmare" thread. But, there was no such thread.

So, I am making one. Enjoy.

I had finished my masterpiece. I knew this would be the one, the book that everyone would flock to. This one would change the world. This one would inspire generations. Best of all, this one would make me rich.

It sold well. Very well. I had told numerous people about it, done a lot of advertising all over the Internet. As soon as it was published, it sold. Dozens of copies the first day. Hundreds the next. Thousands a day the second week out. I could not believe this great fortune!

I called up my boss and quit my "day job". I bought a new house and a new car. I bought a diamond ring and proposed to my girl.

Then... it all went downhill. Reviews came in. Complaints of the book ending on a cliffhanger followed by complaints that the ending made no sense. People claimed that characters changed names, that there were hundreds of misspellings... per page! The lists of complaints were nearly endless.

With thousands of one-star reviews, the sales stopped. Weeks went by and not one more sale came in. I lost the house, the car and even the girl.

I thought that I would quote a line from my book in my suicide note and finally took a look at it. I realized to my horror... I'd published my rough draft.

So, what's your britches-crapping nightmare story?

[[deleted user]]

You needed and need an editor.

[Tara Woods Turner]

Dwayne wrote: "One of those awful mods complained that I put the following post in the wrong place and it belonged in the "pants-pooping nightmare" thread. But, there was no such thread.

So, I am making one. Enj..."

Um...that was your flash fiction right? I just need to be sure this didn't really happen to you lol.

[G.G.]

Morris wrote: "You needed and need an editor."

Well duh! He did say it was his rough draft after all :P

[Martin]

If you used Createspace, fix it, repub, fixed tomorrow. The First edition is now collectable!

[G.G.]

I hope you all realize that this is a story, right? It DID NOT happen to Dwayne! At least, not yet.

[Marie Silk]

Well done, Dwayne :D very shudder-worthy story indeed.

On a serious note, I literally had nightmares that this would happen when I set up my first pre-order!

[Charles]

This one time, at band camp...

[Dwayne, Head of Lettuce]

Morris wrote: "You needed and need an editor."

Me no need no stankeng editar.

[Christina]

As your court-appointed editor, pants-soiling is stuffy and pretentious. :P

[Dwayne, Head of Lettuce]

Das y I dunt like you editars. Yoo'all hat ever hting I dooooo

[Dwayne, Head of Lettuce]

Charles wrote: "This one time, at band camp..."

Yes? Go on...!

[Christina]

Also...

Dwayne wrote: "One of those awful mods..."

It's MEAN MOD! Get it right! Geez!

[Rohvannyn]

I was pretty frightened when I published a book and thought I had a typo in the title. The TITLE! It was pretty bad till I realized everything was just fine.