Science Fiction Microstory Contest discussion
AUGUST 2016 MICROSTORY CONTEST - COMMENTS ONLY
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Heather, Had to go south sooner or later! Lol
You were probably admonished because you are a bad bad girl.
Ps. I was driven to drink long ago, by circumstances most foul. Birth, as I recall, although the details are fuzzy.
C.
In Heather's defense I commented I'd critiqued everyone's story, I wasn't sure if general "chit chat" was appropriate on the critiques thread or the comments thread. I just wanted to make sure people saw that they didn't need to respond and the comments thread made the most sense.Going forward I'll be sure to keep any critique chatter on the right thread - sorry!
I thought that all comments, except spoilers, should stay on the comments thread, so we don't have a bunch of chatter on the critique thread, just critiques!Jot- we need some direction here. What's the proper destination for:
1. Comments about critiques from people other than the critiquer or critiquee? Should there be none?
2. Notifications that critiques are published? Again, none?
3. Spoiler chatter outside of critiques and critique responses (I already know this one. . . none!)
Also I appreciate the previous comment, I think that was from Andy, that we need a separate critique thread for each month as we do already with story and comments threads. I see on my android phone too, there is no easy way to jump from page to page except at the bottom after copious swiping.
-C.
Ps. Just because I'm a copious swiper does not mean that I'm a kleptomaniac.-C.
Stories due by midnight tonight. Don't be late!
Sent my vote to Jot.I agree with the responses to Jot's questions-
Yes,
No,
Yes.
Willing to consider feedback on my story which I didn't indicate when I posted. Thanks in advance.
Votes sent. Critiques always welcome, please consider that on open invitation.
Here's a fun little story, purely for your enjoyment during the voting.I decided it doesn't really qualify as a science fiction story, but it was kind of quirky so I'm publishing it here and not submitting it for the contest. I hope you enjoy it. Consider it the literary equivalent of the music that plays during the final Jeopardy question.
Lipstick on a Pig
By C. Lloyd Preville © Copyright 2016
On mars in 2089, dear reader, there was a large settlement of humans living underground with all the comforts of modern technology. They farmed the soil, drove cars through many tunnels, and enjoyed goods and services delivered by spaceships from earth. And like all frontier towns, they had their bordellos. It was a happy place.
One day Farmer Pete spoke to his pig. Now, normally farmers don’t speak to pigs, dear reader, but the pigs on mars were different. They were genetically enhanced so that not only their bacon, pork tenderloins, and hams tasted delicious, but they were also mentally enhanced with the intellectual level of a human 7-year old. It was believed that this would make them much more cooperative and helpful.
“Wilbur, it’s time to take you to market, so I can sell you for bacon, pork tenderloins, and hams. Could you please accompany me to the barn so I may chop off your head and hang you upside-down?”
Martian pigs were pretty cooperative most of the time, but even Wilbur knew this was bad news. He stopped happily munching Martian corn and looked up at Farmer Pete. “Farmer Pete, you might certainly sell my bacon, my pork tenderloins, and my hams. But that will only give you money for a week or two. But if you hire me out to the local bordello Madam, I will work hard and split my commissions with you 50-50, so you can enjoy a nice income for life.”
Farmer Pete thought that over and concluded this was a pretty good idea. He put a pair of pantyhose, a wig, and some of his wife’s lipstick on Wilbur and drove him over to the local bordello.
The bordello door opened and Madam Cynthia peered out at them, looking like she had just woken up even though it was way past noon Mars time. She had a cigarette in one shaky hand, and a tumbler of what looked like three fingers of whiskey in the other. “What can I do for you boys?”
Farmer Pete gave her his best friendly grin and said, “Well, Madam Cynthia, I brought you this pig. We figure he can work for you full-time, and bring in a healthy income for all concerned. Isn’t he cute?”
Madam Cynthia laughed out loud and briefly choked on her lit cigarette. “Farmer Pete, we don’t hire pigs here! Nobody wants to kiss a pig. Now get him out of here!” And she slammed the door.
Farmer Pete looked down at Wilbur sadly. Wilbur smiled back and he did actually look kind of cute. “Now what, Wilbur?”
Wilbur thought for a moment. “Farmer Pete, you might certainly sell my bacon, my pork tenderloins, and my hams. But that will only give you money for a week or two. But if you hire me out to the local used car dealer, I will sell lots of cars, and split my commissions with you 50-50 so you can enjoy a nice income for life.”
Farmer Pete thought about that for a moment, and then they got back into the car.
Pete parked in front of the used car lot and he and Wilbur walked into the little ramshackle sales office. The sales manager, Bob, met them near the door. He gave Farmer Pete a big, friendly grin and a hearty handshake.
“What can I do for you boys today?” Bob inquired.
“Well, Bob, I brought my pig Wilbur over here to help you sell cars. He’s a pretty good talker and should be able to sell lots of vehicles.”
Bob laughed out loud. “A pig selling cars? Well, now I’ve heard it all! People don’t buy cars from pigs, Farmer Pete. It just wouldn’t be right. Now you boys run along, and let me know if you ever need a Mars pickup truck or maybe a station wagon."
Farmer Pete and Wilbur returned to the car, dejected. Farmer Pete looked down at Wilbur. “Well, what now, Wilbur?”
“Farmer Pete, you might certainly sell my bacon, my pork tenderloins, and my hams. But that will only give you money for a week or two. Uh. . . how about an astronaut?” He grinned up at Farmer Pete hopefully.
The very next day, Farmer Pete had bacon with his breakfast, pork tenderloin sandwiches for lunch, and delicious genetically enhanced ham for dinner.
The moral of the story, dear reader, is this: You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still just a pig.
The end.
Mod
For now, I would prefer we avoid notifications of the critiques and comments about the critiques from being published on this thread. If you want to talk about critiques in general and how they might relate to this contest, then please do so.
So, re critiques spilling onto the Comments thread :What happens in Critiques stays in Critiques.
Mod
A Robot Walks into a Bar by Jack McDaniel
The Leviathan by Chris Nance
Infiltration by Jon Ricson
Reservation by Dean Hardage
Votes needed from:
C. Lloyd Preville
Jon Ricson
Mod
The Leviathan by Chris Nance
Infiltration by Jon Ricson
Votes needed from:
C. Lloyd Preville
Tom Olbert
Greg Krumrey
I'm looking forward to September's contest.
Great story Chris! Nice work! As the winner this month, I'm happy to send you my two sci-fi novellas if you'd like (parts 1 & 2). No obligation to accept of course. Again, nice job!
Great story! Send it to a sci-fi mag. and make some bucks. If they don't publish it let me know and I will send them nasty letters. :-)
Yes congratulations from me too Chris. It would have been one of my voted-for stories had I been able to vote ... but I missed the vote this month as my computer has been out of action. I just picked it up from the repair shop today.Also: re the issue of 'added comments' about critiques and some folks not wanting them spilling over to the Comments thread, what about this idea? Let every critique (and every response to a critique) amount to 500 words in total (as is currently allowed) BUT make it so that you can have some of that allowed word count 'in the bank.' So, say I use up 250 words critiquing a story and then after the response or rebuttal I realize that there was some clarification needed to my critique then I could just go back to that same critique message and add "EDIT (and add the date of the edit) [and then add the further remark]" ... up to whatever word count balance I had left to use, say in the above example, I'd still have 250 left to use on added comments. AND by keeping them all as 'edits' to the original critique the person being critiqued (or interested others) could find the added comment easily, and the Critique thread wouldn't get messy!
"Heather ... please don't mention that you made a critique ... because it might make someone, who might not want to participate with that [critique] thread, feel like they have to.
Really?
Does that mean that everyone else who has mentioned that they have critiqued" on this thread - and there have been several - doesn't have the same magical power to make people feel like they have to do something they don't want to participate in?
If I "mispronounced someone's name would they feel compelled to change it?" lol I've just watched one of those Dos Eques commercials to get that fabulous line!
Now if my mentioning "Dos Eques" drives those-who-don't-want-to to drink but Justin's mentioning it doesn't, then I will graciously accept my magical power to so change people's consciousness as accused!
Sorry, Jot ... I truly am not meaning to disobey or disrespect. I am though trying to make sense of why I am being admonished to not mention here 'that I have critiqued' ... when others who have done that very same thing, and engaged in other uses of the word and concept, 'critique,' can do so without mention? ... What's the real underlying issue here?
I had thought the whole critiquing thing was going very nicely and respectfully and that I, like everyone else, was not doing other than that? Am I wrong in thinking that? ... or is there an undercurrent coming from 'somewhere' to alter the happy course that this entirely free-will determined participation (or non-participation) critiquing has been enjoying? I don't get it!