do you hate your own book?

[E.N.]

Great comment, Lee. I can relate.

[Josh]

Hmm. I suspect this is more to do with the new publishing paradigm wherein an author learns her craft in public. Never mind first novels, first drafts are now published and put on sale. So I can see how an author who learned how to write through the publishing process might look back and cringe at earlier efforts.

[Aeryn]

So true, Lee. That's the reason I don't read my own books after they get out there. Better not to find myself hating them or being embarressed...I always want to change something when I happen to re-read them after publishing.
And anyway after the third round of edits I never want to hear anything about my book subject, I develop sort of an allergy to those characters so now I avoid at all cost re-reading one of my books. Not that there are many, still..

[Michael]

I've found that any time I get too enamored of my own prose, I get sloppy as a writer. I think that if you love your writing unconditionally, it may because you're not looking at it closely enough.

[Elle]

I can really relate to this topic. I really do like my book. But, during the writing process and even now after it's been published, I have periods where I wonder what in the world I was thinking when I wrote it. What made me think I could ever be a writer? So full of self-doubt. Then I have other times when I think, hey, my book's not so bad. And then I cut myself some slack. I know I'm an amateur and not everyone who reads my book will like it. That's okay. It's my first attempt and I'll do what I can to become better. Aren't we always our own worst critic?

[T.D.]

I'm definitely familiar with the Love/Hate relationship with my books. Some of my earlier works, I have grown to hate (well--maybe hate is too strong of a word. I just realize that the first book I published could have been infinitely better).
However, the consolation is that I love some of my more recent works. I can see the improvement in my writing. I can see the progress. So I guess in some ways the love/hate relationships us writers have with out material pays off in the long run because it helps us to improve our craft.

[Helen]

I thought my first novel was okay until I was offered a publishing contract and then I thought more highly of it!
By the third round of edits I couldn't stand to look at it. Since it's been published I find myself loving it again when I read a positive review. I doubt I could ever bring myself to read it again though!

[Jane]

L.E. wrote: "I thought my first novel was okay until I was offered a publishing contract and then I thought more highly of it!
By the third round of edits I couldn't stand to look at it. Since it's been publis..."
Exactly my experience. Maybe someday I can re-read it, but not now.

[Casey]

I like my book because I wrote it, but the main character is driving me up the dang wall.

We're our own worst critics and that's something I've had to adjust to. So when I go back over the first book to discover why the MC is sans pants, I'm going through with a red marker scribbling SUCKS over every page. Darned thing has been out for nearly two years...

[Jannette]

L.E. wrote: "I thought my first novel was okay until I was offered a publishing contract and then I thought more highly of it!
By the third round of edits I couldn't stand to look at it. Since it's been publis..."

I can sympathize with you. Those final edits can suck the joy out in a hurry. But you've got to admit it's an amazing feeling when the book's released.

[Alp]

John wrote: "Recently I’ve decided to adopt a hip-hop attitude to my writing, like “I’m the greatest author of all time”. And sometimes I read my book and genuinely think it’s awesome. Other times I think it st..."

On extremely rare occasions I believe that what I have written, some small part of that output at least, is good enough to be compared to the writers and their works which I either admire or like or both. But I realised something and that was I can only know - and therefore appreciate/acknowledge - my true value - as a writer in this instance - if I stop comparing myself to others and just enjoy the process. I may never right a best seller, or sell another book after today, or maybe I'll write that thing which touches the stars ... that's all in the lap of the gods anyway. If I remind myself to enjoy the process, I always write better - this was, at the beginning, going to be fun and I wasn't going to bog myself down with all the angst that typifies our lives from worrying about whether the boy on the bus likes me to whether aliens exists and plan to exterminate us ... writing was meant to be the counterweight to all of that, not just adding to it.

Doubt yes, briefly whilst I sharpen my pencil and then I remind myself that whilst I sit here doubting myself, a few thousand kids died of starvation and few more from AIDS and few more poor sanitation ...

Always good to keep everything in perspective my mother says and she's absolutely right.

In any event, why do I doubt myself when there are millions of readers just waiting to give me a 2 star review ...

Wishing you no worries and only positive energy

[Linda]

Ah, such good advice. Enjoy the process for that may be all that you receive from your effort. Writing is a passion. Sitting your ass all day in a chair and thinking up dialog and fantasy scenarios is hard work and not everyone can do that. The fact that you have competed a novel should be reward enough. You are now considered a writer. If the book sells that will be a bonus!

[Elyce]

Alp wrote: "John wrote: "Recently I’ve decided to adopt a hip-hop attitude to my writing, like “I’m the greatest author of all time”. And sometimes I read my book and genuinely think it’s awesome. Other times ..."

You talk about enjoying the process, and for sure, self-doubt is part of the process. Even your writing here is honest and moving, so already it has had an impact on a reader. Keep at it.

[Kit]

If I hated my own book I wouldn't let it out of the house. http://www.amazon.com/Where-Novel-Kit...

[Alp]

If I get to the point of hating the story then I stop and start a new story - same is true if the ideas just don't flow - stop, take a step back ...

I hate one of the stories I have published - wish I could remove it from the cosmos - won't happen so I just have to keep trying to appreciate it for its qualities and work out where it came from and why ...

[John]

Judy wrote: "I'm pretty sure that every writer feels that way at some point about every book he or she has written. I always find myself thinking my books are the worst things ever written when I'm in the final..."

Yep. It needs time for you to get the book out, and have a total breather from it. I never think what I have created is good enough, but perhaps it is the very best I can do at that point in time. I love writing...I don't really like the editing process, but along wit marketing and promotion, it has to be done! Wishing you all well!

[John]

John wrote: "So, I'm back on this after some time away. When I posted this originally I was busy editing some tough parts of my book. Now, after a few weeks of distance, I can come back and really enjoy the boo..."

Haha I spend a lot of time on the 'I'm a total hack, who else am I kidding.' Then there are other times I think I'm doing okay. I think the point is to keep yourself grounded and never think you are better than you are, but never as bad as your worst critics would have others believe. Let's keep writing!

[Katheryn]

I definitely go through love-hate phases re my own writing. It's really reassuring to know that others feel the same!

[Steven]

Yes. Off/on. Love/hate. Generally this helps make it better if I keep after a good idea liked on a particular day (or month) or not.

[Cindy]

Anything I hated about my book, I removed, or edited until I really liked it. If I hate something about what I've written, that just means it's not the final draft.

[P.D.]

I've never hated my own writing, it is a sentiment I have never been able to understand.

[Jane]

Have you read Anne Lamott? Sixteen books and she still goes through phases of hating her work and the process. Her Bird by Bird is one of my favorites on writing.

[John]

John wrote: "John wrote: "So, I'm back on this after some time away. When I posted this originally I was busy editing some tough parts of my book. Now, after a few weeks of distance, I can come back and really ..."

Well said. I'm into the "shut up and keep writing" tactic.

[John]

P.D. wrote: "I've never hated my own writing, it is a sentiment I have never been able to understand."
That's interesting. I think "self-doubt" is a personality trait that will of course play a part in the writing process. "self-loathing" is a real part of humanity and if you don't like yourself at times, the same will apply to your writing.
Anyway, indeed for me, there were moments of struggle with earlier drafts. Now the book is done and I'm happy with it. I acknowledge that some parts could be better but that I cannot make them better, nor should I spend the next five years trying.

[John]

Alp wrote: "John wrote: "Recently I’ve decided to adopt a hip-hop attitude to my writing, like “I’m the greatest author of all time”. And sometimes I read my book and genuinely think it’s awesome. Other times ..."
Thanks, Alp! Well put.

[Bobbi]

John, I love your comment!

[James]

I have grown to the point of hating my own book, so I saw this thread and took notice! I think its like doing anything for a long time, burn out takes over. It helped me to have an editor finally take it over for a while! I am doing a KindleScout campaign for publication and now more then ever I just have to avoid looking or thinking about what I wrote;self doubt creeps in like a virus.

[Eileen]

I am a new author who recently self-published my first book along with my sister who co-authored it. This may seem a dumb question to someone as obviously experienced as yourself, but HOW do you aquire an editor in the first place? Our book is called "Guardian of Butterflies" annd is a work of fiction. Everyone who has read it seems to love it and we have sold a few books (nothing substantial yet) both through Kindle and Amazon and regular bookstores such as Barnes and Nble. Still, I know that no matter how good or bad a book is, it takes an amount of talent that we have yet to learn to attract buyers attention to it. An editor seems to me to be a helpful option---but how would a neophyte author avail themselves of one?

Eileen Small

[James]

I found my current editor by following Anne Rices author platform on FB, she has a lot if great info for writers

[John]

Hi Eileen, you COULD go to elance.com and look for an editor. It's a great place to go to get decent people for a decent price. I also once contacted NY Editors: http://nybookeditors.com/ which costs $100 just to try someone out. Eventually, I found someone via via and they put me in touch with Christine Pride (have a google). She then put me in touch with my current editor. Hope that helps.
John

[John]

James wrote: "I have grown to the point of hating my own book, so I saw this thread and took notice! I think its like doing anything for a long time, burn out takes over. It helped me to have an editor finally t..."
Agreed James! When you're sick of it, that's when it's time for an editor to put things in perspective.
Book is finally done, and I actually like it quite a bit. Best of luck everyone.
John

[Eileen]

Thanks one and al. You all are wiser than me and I am picking your brains!

[J.J.]

I think I posted on this group before. Back then I was just re-reading and re-reading a work to the point of exhaustion. I'm over that. I like that story. Now I have a new story I have to edit. I enjoyed writing it, researching it, and working out how to end it. I'm dreading editing it. I watched the news today, read magazines, and in general avoiding editing. I really don't want to look this over with a critical eye and look for mistakes. Does that mean I like the story too much or I'm hating this already?

[P.D.]

I think it just means you don't enjoy editing.

[James]

This happened to me as well, I finished the story- I got it out, I didn't want to second guess myself, search for words like "very"- and others, edit adverbs and the like. I think there is some value in putting the first draft in a drawer for 6 months, then read it fresh. I may try this myself.

[P.D.]

After first draft (which for me is a fast-draft, about 22 days), I usually do one or two quick revisions, maybe one big-structure and one line-edit, and then I do not look at it again for another month. You see a lot of new stuff after you put it away for a while.

I tend to do my edits in clusters; work through the draft a few times, then put it away, run through a few more, and (assuming it is ready) send it off to beta readers (my rule is I cannot look at it until all comments are in from betas... or most of them...) then my final changes, off to the editor (don't look at it...) make the final edits and do another read-through, and off it goes...

[Maho]

I think that when you write a book it becomes like your own child, and you don't hate your children. But that doesn't stop you from recognizing its flaws and still be able to love it because no book is perfect. As long as you write what you like there's no room for hatred but improvement.

[Ian]

I go back and forth, too. It's the worst with stories that have some promise; you love bits of them but the 'connective tissue' between those bits just isn't right, no matter how hard you try. I have two of those and they're like scabs, endlessly picking even though you know you should stop!

I have a feeling that this is going to be the challenge of self-publishing for me. I only have one short story out so far, and it was one I was (unusually) happy with; but as time moved on with people promising to read and review, and failing to do so, I started to hate it. They must have been seeing something I wasn't.

Then again, that was more a case of 'If my best work can't even shift the dial, then what am I doing?' Which is probably another writer's neurosis altogether, heh.

[Sandy]

There are so many great comments here. I relate to Michael's need to be objective and Cindy, because I hope I don't ever 'hate' my books, although I totally all those authors having cringe worthy moments throughout the process.

I struggle a lot towards the end of the process, when self-doubt and flaws make themselves known, but if I didn't love the story idea & characters, I wouldn't be able to write it.

[Anno]

K.A. wrote: "I don't hate them, but I never want to read most of them ever again. I've read my own books more times than I've ever read any other book, and I'm sick unto death of them. Also sick of the characte..."

read most of the comments and in some perspective it was comical..:-). I think K.A comment was a balanced perspective. For me I find the editing the most painful which has morphed into hate and stronger verbs..:-)

[Brooks]

I can understand why an author would ask this question. I go back and look at work I wrote years ago to see if it stands the test of time. Most of the time it does, but there are exceptions. I would not say I hate my older work but have learned that I am a different person now, and my writing has grown.

[P.D.]

I still don't get it. I guess I'm just not wired that way. I enjoy editing. I can see weaknesses in my stories, but that doesn't make me hate them. I actually love to sit down and read through one of my old books.

Certainly a lot of my older stuff needs to be completely rewritten, and that can be a difficult process. But I know I can do a complete rewrite in a month (a minor rewrite might only take a week) and that my older work may take several rewrites before it is a "good first draft" by my current standards. I'm okay with that. Maybe it's because I have a lot of stuff to work on, and I can put a draft aside for a month or more while I work on other things, and then go back to it fresh again.

Those of you who hate your books... do you have a number of books that you are working on, or are you just stuck on one or two?

[Thalia]

John wrote: "Recently I’ve decided to adopt a hip-hop attitude to my writing, like “I’m the greatest author of all time”. And sometimes I read my book and genuinely think it’s awesome. Other times I think it st..."

I love your thoughts on this John because I feel the exact same way! I've only published one book so far with a second one soon to come and I'm simply tired of reading and seeing my first book! The first book is my baby, and I know it's not perfect but I felt it was good. I'm very sensitive and passionate about my work that I constantly go back and forth with how I feel about what I'm doing. One minute I'm satisfied and the next minute it's not good enough. Self doubt is a mutha-sucka! It's a constant back and forth with me, being super confident to having little confidence at all.

[Ezel]

when i writing this book i think is good one but when i start read it i think i writing wrong things about the persenality of humain and the people arwand all of the enevernement , i geusss is just a dream for that i am not made my mouve to hate or love what writng

[Linda]

Talk about being sensitive....I put in for a review of my book Moving Targets Live Longer with onlinebookclub.org. The review was glowing up until the ending, which the reviewer said she was a disappoint. She gave me a 3 out 4. Well I had two other reviews, one from an ex-literary agent who said the ending was spellbinding. Needless to say I commented on the review defensively, which I'm sorry I did. Just keep in mind not everyone liked the bible.

[Rena]

I try not to think about liking or disliking my writing. Once I start to, it gets very hard to write at all.

[Green]

I almost burned my book the year before I published.....I now am convinced that the world needs my words badly! :) I am so glad that I stuck with it! I agree with others who say over thinking the process can hinder the creativity...just keep writing!!

[Thalia]

I didn't start feeling this way until AFTER my book went through final edits and was published. I think as writers you never stop thinking that you could have written a scene differently or better, using a different word here or there. Then you read the reviews and it really does a number on you (if you let it) and before you know it you're questioning yourself again. I don't hate my work per se, I just get tired of reading it after having spent so much time writing it and editing it.

[Anno]

Thalia wrote: "I didn't start feeling this way until AFTER my book went through final edits and was published. I think as writers you never stop thinking that you could have written a scene differently or better,..."
yes the old proverb familiarity breeds contempt and someone earlier had said on this thread that..your own book is the one you would have read the most number of times...and not your favorite author's...:-)

[Emily]

I don't "hate" my book, "Lending Color to the Otherwise Absurd," but I often find little things I would have done differently. I'm still proud of it, but I'm more excited about my next project, which is why marketing my book is such a PAIN.