Role Models and what we do with them

[Buffalotinchen]

I believe that this is a very interesting topic. Are there real role models today? Why are women judged differently? Media is heavily manipulating our way of thinking.

[Katelyn, Our Shared Shelf Moderator]

Your point about women being judged differently and the media manipulating women's reputations as role models, I think, is very important! Women are held to a higher standard generally, but even further, we need to stop entirely condemning people when they don't get everything 100% right. I see this happen a lot for feminist leaders. They're discarded after one misstep, and that's really unfortunate, as they still have plenty of value to contribute.

[Lynn]

So true, Katelyn! We should be easier on women in public life.

[C.J.]

I agree that women are judged differently than men. Women are more often than not judged by their looks, their age, their appearance, how they act, etc. Their intellect is overshadowed by how the standard of their appearance and behavior is perceived by a patriarchal society. One misstep and they are branded. The Scarlet Letter had far more implications than chastity and giving birth out of wedlock. The media is reflective of this society and publishes from their cultural upbringing. Change is occurring but slowly.

[Alexander]

I don't agree. Role models are supposed to inspire us to be our best selves or do our best work. So we must hold our idols to a certain standard. I have few living male idols. But Emma is definitely one of my big inspirations. She can do no wrong. She is as elegant in jeans and a sweater as she is in a dress. That natural elegance is a must for me.

[Ana, Our Shared Shelf Moderator]

I think role models are this useful but tricky notion. ;)
I don't know, I've always found it hard to hold some person onto this high, often lonely and unattainable marble tower. The closest I've been to that, also, it's almost always been with people I actually know in my daily life.
I reckon you both had a point, Katelyn and Lynn. The way I see it, we all have responsibilities and we all screw things over from time to time. Including those we adopt, either consciously or unconsciously, as our role models. That's cool, I would say, because life is a never-ending learning process, as it should. :)

[Liz]

Emma and Katelyn, I agree! When I was reading the role model chapter, I kept reflecting on how much I loved what Moran was explicitly stating about female role models but simultaneously found problematic what she was inferring about female role models with her discussion of Katie Price - who, I must admit, I didn't know of.

While talking about Katie, Moran's diction carries the weight of indirect criticizing, such as her strategic inclusion of Katie's referral to her "nannies" (plural) and her later address to Katie that "you're suppose to take care of your children."

She also criticizes Katie's rise to fortune, when she addresses, "Women who pander to sexism to make their fortune." However, in a previous chapter, when discussing workplace romances and her own experiences with corporate climb, she supported any woman who decides to flirt with her male coworkers to advance her career. When she praises Lady Gaga for being on top because of her musical talent and condemns Katie Price for being on top because of her looks, she is being inconsistent with her argument. This is a disappointing example to me of having inconsistent expectations for a regular person and a celebrity role model, especially when the role model's job actually involves her looks when the regular person's most likely doesn't. (I should also say that I found her flirting in the work plays ideas very problematic. I loved what she said about work place bromances, and I had never thought of "old white men's clubs" in that way. However, saying that flirting is the solution promotes only attractive women. This is off topic, though.)

Also, in this section about Katie, Moran criticizes Katie's public quote of "I'm strong" as well as her constant "quacking to the press about how unfairly everyone's treating them." I found this to only reinforce what she said in a previous chapter about society expecting women to carry on quietly with pain or stress while caring for others. This is reiterated in her quote from the Cornation Street character, Blanch, that, when faced with problems, women should, "stay at home, get drunk, and bite on a shoe."

Again, I really loved where she started to go with this conversation. I just wish she would think through the issues further and consider the implications of her statements more.

[James]

No person is perfect, even EW as im sure she would tell you herself. To pretend otherwise would be quite naive. With that said as long as said people or idols continue to strive to be the best people they can be thats all you can really ask. But it doesnt mean it doesnt come with its own consequences especially if a person you admire has a set back. When you take on the task of being a role model you also take the criticism when you do things that go against the grain of what you are trying to accomplish. While i have disagreed with Emma on some minor viewpoints i do take task with feminist like Steinem when they publicly contradict themselves. If you are going to be a voice for gender equality you cannot be taken seriously when you do the very things that you are against in the movement itself.

[Sof]

I do agree that of course role models mess up sometimes, but that's honestly what makes them human and should be expected. It really does disappoint me when they get put down for one small comment that could be misinterpreted or they do one thing that doesn't seem like a perfect decision. I personally have several people that I really look up to, and I entirely admit and accept that they are not perfect.

[Sof]

I entirely agree Emma. A lot of people insist that their role models are perfect, even when they very clearly mess up. Just because someone thinks that you role model did something wrong does not mean that you have to attack them. You can explain to them why you think they're wrong or why you disagree. I think this is something a lot of people don't really understand or do.

[Bunny]

I think we need to find a better way. Because role models shouldn't be torn apart for making mistakes. At the same time, someone needs to tell them when they are making mistakes so they don't go on doing it.

Like Sofia says You can explain to them why you think they're wrong or why you disagree. Some constructive criticism, eh? Because just as we've all seen people get torn down for small mistakes, we've also seen people who have really gone too far because apparently no one is ever telling them hang on a minute, that's not a good idea.

Just as it can be too easy to criticize I think it can also be too easy for famous people to surround themselves with fans who never say no to them. That's why its really important for them to have family and true friends who can be relied on.

[Sof]

I totally agree, Bunny, there is a limit to what is past just a small mistake and should be addressed. Although I do find that I haven't really seen that too often (do you have some examples, I do think you're right, I'm just interested) and have seen the "everything you do is wrong" more often.

[Apoorva]

Its good to have role models but people should not get obsessed with them. What's important is to learn something good and leave the bad.
Blindly following is a major problem.
As far as constructive criticism is concerned, it works when role model takes it in positive way.

[Christine]

I believe that every one is a role model in our own different ways .. despite of your sexuality, nationality, race, age etc. And I agree that at some point, the media manipulates our reputations as a well-woman being. I can say that because it is real in my country, Philippines. Our media here (not all) is kinda biased when it comes to women being a role model and it really affects the way of thinking of my fellow countrymen. So when some people hear the word "feminism" they always think that it is against a man or anti-man rather! And it's really a sad thing for me.

[Ross]

I have always felt nothing is more unless to motivation and change than a paragon. The best role models and sources of inspiration are those that have flaws and are people.

Being for women is not against men just some male attitudes that need to be adjusted. I must admit telling male fiends and family that Emma Watson was my in roads to becoming a Feminist did not get the backlash I thought most were open to the message and having HeforShe fronted by Emma worked.

She was not to "Hollywood" for them as it was put to me. So it does suggest that role models particularly for young people women and men need to be people first.

[Apoorva]

Feminism as a concept should not be confused with just women and their issues. Its more an equality phenomina.

[Lorelai]

I think everyone is a role model in some way. Personally, I take being a role model very seriously. I also take who I choose as my role models very seriously. My role models are people in my daily life as well as some public figures. I think there are still "real role models" today.
I wish women weren't judged differently. I don't understand why we are. I'm currently reading the book "Slut!" which talks about how women are held to a different standard then men when it comes to sex.

[Aglaea]

If the concept of a role model comes with the expectations that a person is flawless, we lost before the game began.

I'd love to see a shift in focus, from 'expectation of perfection' to 'a person is human, which means they will eventually make a mistake or several, so let's see how they handle the situation then.' Not just on paper, but actually, honestly, truly.