Science Fiction Microstory Contest discussion
*APRIL 2016 MICRO STORY CONTEST - COMMENTS ONLY
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Paula
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Apr 23, 2016 06:13AM
Yes, well, as good a group of stories as we've come up with here yet, I think, and that's awfully good.
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Thanks for good wishes, all. When my temp hit 103.6, I thought, I be damned to be a flu statistic! (especially having had flu and pneumonia vaccines) Guess my chi kicked in and the fever broke. Now, I am just dealing with a hacking cough, not fun for an asthmatic. I have to totally resurrect myself by May as I am off on a genealogy expedition to Wisconsin.
Agreed, Marianne, a genealogy expedition beats the flu any time. Yes, glad you're better; and 103.6 for a flu should've got the doctor to at least phone back---but of course as medical coverage gets worse and worse. . .Glad you got that piece in under the wire, Jon!
Time does funny things when one is flu-ing, and a high temperature is good for bringing out the vivid dreams. With so many drugs being illegal, expensive or just in short supply, art needs all the help it can get. Chi- call me stupid- but like the word has a thousand meanings - I assume you mean Tai Chi. I guess I'm just out of trend as usual- or is it the latest drug for combating reality.
I am thinking the H1N1 strain of the flu made a late attack on me and others. This particular strain is known for generating a cytokine storm. It is also a descendant of the 1918 flu. I think Prince got taken down by this. I know when I hit 103.6 in a blink of an eye, I was ready to call 911, but I waited 20 minutes, and the temp came down to a more respectable 102. Haven't been this sick since 1980 when I got Mono (which my virology textbook at the time called a "disease of the wealthy"!)
Marianne wrote: "I have been sick with the flu, so recently I do not give a double F about anything."Same here, I contracted Pneumonia early last week while on vacation (2 freaking days into it) and it really kicked my ass.
So my "Give a F%$k button is broken..." :)
Except reading through these stories have cheered me up - you guys are seriously some talented folks.
Sorry to hear about your flu Marianne - and you too Carrie, but happy to hear you've both recovered. I remember many years ago taking my infant son into hospital with a temp of 102. They stripped him to his nappy in about 10 seconds flat, stuck him under a fan and gave him iced juice throughout the night.
He was fine, thankfully, within 24 hours. But I had a few bustups with 'mommy advisers' who'd told me to bundle him up and let him 'sweat it out'.
Hope you are over the worst of the pneumonia, Carrie. It takes awhile to get over that; don't push yourself. Agreed, this month's stories are a boost! J.J.---under a fan, really? Glad it worked.
OK, at the risk of getting into comparing medical notes - when I was 8 I had meningitis and fell into a coma for several days. I was told they packed me in ice and had all the windows open on a freezing March night to bring down the temperature. I survived, though how much of my brain was affected is hard to judge. I know what my siblings say.But there's an SF connection. I passed out watching Dr Who and the Zarbi. I couldn't remember anything of passing out or the days after, but can still remember vividly some scenes from the Dr Who episode.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BjMV...
Wishing good health to one and all.
Okay, Andy has now made this a mini-challenge; but long ago, when I came down with chicken pox as a kid, I woke screaming from a fever nightmare of mutants chasing me across the hot dry sands of Mars. A year or so before, I'd seen the 1950 film Rocketship-XM.---Which, btw, was written by Dalton Trumbo and made an early reference to the full destuctive horrors of nuclear war.--
I guess that's a punishment for watching a film penned by such an un-American writer, Paula ... lol
Maladie is a door to great fiction- but is it all fiction? Who knows what doors were briefly open. Drugs - init.
Too bad #23 Moment #158,934
by Jon Ricson
was entered in too late. It´s a good story. A the end I wanted to know more about the story and background.
John
Yes, it's an interesting romantic story, and thought-provoking. How would it be to be frozen in bliss?How would it be to have continued existence but no continuity from a chosen moment?
Nice one, Jon.
Great story Jon! Nice that you don't even see the twist until the end. Reminds me of a dream I had once. I could have stayed in it forever. Nice work!
Thanks folks. It was a last minute thing, and for some reason I guess I thought it was the 23rd that was the last day because it seems like it has been before. It's kind of an amalgamation of all the ladies I have loved in my life. Glad someone got to read it at least. Maybe the powers that be will let me put it in the anthology next year.
In the last two months I wrote my story early so it could cool off and I would edit it later. Then the days moved on and the 22nd passed into history. I guess I will have to put the 22nd on my calendar as a drop-dead date for every month. As the King said to Mozart "Too many notes!"
I'm thinking the theme for next month's contest should be "Deadlines".
I can see someone putting the 'dead' into 'deadline' ... - it was bad enough this month, me relying on time zone differences to finish my story and get it posted.
Next month's themes: deadlines, dead space and the undead!
Voting was particularly tough this month, methinks - I had 4 candidates for the top post after seriously narrowing down, 3 or 4 more for 2nd place, and not one story I didn't like. A couple, maybe, that I didn't quite understand, but that's another matter. So, another batch of great little stories - including Jon's latecomer.
As a new contributor, I relished each one. I'm going to go and pick up "The Future is Short" to read earlier works. I'm really looking forward to next month's contest!
My compliments to Jon. The ending really packed a jolt. Well done.
Yes, a very good story, Jon. Looking forward to your next one!
It really was a good tale, Jon. Love the poignancy of it all and the unexpected turn at the end. Very moving.
Mod
Long Thought Through Olfaction by Richard Bunning
Bylaw, By Law, Belarus by Jeremy Lichtman
A Certain Time by Andy Lake
Votes needed from:
Chris Nance
Jack McDaniel
Jot Russell
Greg Krumrey
Gary Hanson
Jon,Just a point if we ever have to write a horror story. Moment #158,934 is unlikely to be that same moment in her memory, oh to be stuck in the wrong moment for eternity.
Gary
So do we need to vote again now that the first round finalists have been announced?
Additional votes are only needed by the people above. They don't have any of the current round of stories in their runner up vote list.
Justin - To add briefly to Jeremy's comment, many of us send in our top 3 or top 5 stories , in order, to Jot when we first vote. That way , there's at least some chance that we won't need to hustle in our vote in later rounds.
Oh, I only picked one, which happens to be in the first round finalists. Good to know for next time, and in case I need to vote again for the next down select. Thanks for the clarification.
Whoops - came to post my vote and saw I'd missed the deadline. I'll just go sit with Jon in the late corner. :-)
That's a shame JJ.What was the theme again? ;-)
Great point Gary!Gary wrote: "Jon,
Just a point if we ever have to write a horror story. Moment #158,934 is unlikely to be that same moment in her memory, oh to be stuck in the wrong moment for eternity.
Gary"
Yeah, come on over. I'll let you wear my dunce hat. ;)J.J. wrote: "Whoops - came to post my vote and saw I'd missed the deadline. I'll just go sit with Jon in the late corner. :-)"
What happens now? Do we have another vote? Who do we congratulate?Also whoever decides the next topic should make it difficult. You know a challenge. A hard topic.
I think the next round of voting or a winner will be announced today, John. When the sun rises over Jot's part of the USA.Difficult theme and elements?
Like, say, a constitutional crisis, a bicycle and a cotton-headed tamarin?
I can hear those stories forming already ...
We don't really know which themes and parameter/s will be difficult. Sometimes the simplest theme and no parameters is difficult. And sometimes using very specific parameters---a cat, piano keys, green chop suey, three fingernails, whatever---limits people's imaginations, and sometimes not. ---The constitutional crisis just went onto high, here, and nobody even noticed, Andy.--
New threads are up:Comments:
https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...
Stories:
https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...
Mod
Chris – A question of Time
Intriguing start to a story, multiple timelines and conditional history, etc. Well written and I want to see more
Richard - Long Thought Through Olfaction
Very good story – both in terms of technique and impact for the reader. Interior monologue that ties itself to strong sensory description, character and context gradually revealed. Very accomplished.
Justin – The Disappearing
Transmigration of a soul – from an ethereal conclave to the constricted physicality of life. And a hint of the creation story too – “darkness became light”. Good story.
Dean - Savior
I like the concept – the story has tension, but probably what happens needs to be revealed more from the central character’s point of view than an omniscient narrator to be truly engaging
JJ - Fester's Humster Wheel-Clock Of Time
I don’t know where I went or why, but I really enjoyed the ride :- )
John – Under a White Sky
Well-written and effective scene-building, with the story evolving through dialogue. It seems the story is just about to start at the end, and I want more.
Heather – The Time Editor
Well-written, atmospheric and intriguing with moments of brilliance – but in the end I couldn’t quite understand what ‘time-editing’ means, so was a bit lost. It seems the students experience different times rather than edit them?
Jack – All Things Eventually
Effective and very well-written tale of planet-hopping and cheating the Grim Reaper. Strangely (or not?) it brought to mind a ballet of The Little Prince I saw in Leningrad many moons ago. A story with a ‘choose life’ message – I loved it.
Jeremy - Bylaw, By Law, Belarus
A perfectly rounded and complete microstory, creating a great historical setting (and attention to detail in names and places), with a very neat and satisfying twist. Brilliant.
Marianne - Blossom The combination of very visual imagery and physics is very effective – Time as a flip-book, being glued to the quantum sheet, etc. And I love Marianne’s inventive descriptive imagery, e.g. “smelling of a cool, clearing wind tinted with mint that ripples across a humid summer day”, thoughts skirting “around my brain in a Möbius loop”. A joy to read.
Paula - You know, Robin DeLow Nightmarish interior monologue of someone with life extending into a sterile, immobile Neverland, and selected to be euthanised. Wow. Can he/she really stop time? Is she an alien (reference to ‘exo-surgeon’)? Or is it a fantasy of futile resistance? Excellent, powerful writing.
Tom O – Race Against Time We’ve seen Tom’s hero before in a Moby Dick time-travel story. And this works just as well as an independent and complete episode. Fast-paced, interesting character development. Just a little rushed at the end, perhaps?
Andy (Me)
Bringing the core ideas from my story a couple of months ago closer to home (viewing history in time bubbles but not able to interact: belief and the impossibility of falsification). Apologies if any offence caused. Does it work as a story? I’ll know from the voting. Though there are 18 better stories to measure it against …
Carrie – Loss
I have some natural reservations about someone called Andrew being blown apart by reactors, but it’s a comfort to know there is a woman out there who cares so much . Seriously: the title sums it up – an effective and involving story of loss and its impact. And the beginning of the story of a strong woman who is going to fight for justice – or seek revenge
Andy G – Bits of the Past
“Chrontum mechanics” – Drat, wish I’d thought of that! Similar concept to the above, with a bit more science. And a dark undercurrent, tilting to black comedy even with the idea of falsifying time tourism for the dying. Nice twist, and a little bit evil :-)
Jot – Perpetual Day
I wonder if Al Pacino might know how to deal with perpetual day, after his experiences in “Insomnia”? I liked the build of the story and the general concept – but I couldn’t help wondering: Why couldn’t they just go indoors and switch off the lights at a set time? I mean, if they can achieve near FTL and interstellar travel, a little blackout and self-discipline ought to be within reach?
Greg – Hadron
Nice time-slip/parallel universe story with a hadron collider incident. Kept the interest and tension all the way. Second last paragraph “He fawned all over me…” – this confused me at first as I wasn’t sure who “he” was. Stephen Hawking, I guessed at first. But of course not.
Jeremy McL - ETA
A cabby with high EQ – who is more than he seems. A well-written and well-constructed story. The dialogue pushes the story forward and progressively reveals the character. All in all, very polished.
Dorthe – Time to Go
So many things I like about this story: Hermes, the god of border crossings, etc, here crossing a boundary in time; the Bowie references woven in; the appropriateness of the British Museum as a centre for travelling in time. The scene is built really well, and then we are left at the end with the drama about to unfold – I want more!
Jot wrote: "Andy Lake provided some comments about the stories:Chris – A question of Time
Intriguing start to a story, multiple timelines and conditional history, etc. Well written and I want to see more
..."
Thanks for the great feedback on all the stories Andy. For my own story, I really appreciated hearing how others interpreted it, even better than I did myself!
Very good catch there, Andy L.--on my story anyhow. "Can he/she really stop time?"--yep, I knew those (the question and the gender ambiguity) were the weak points. Again, good catching. And I see you did some super catching on some other of our stories. Thank you indeed.
Andy - LOL because one of the very last things I cut out to get my story below 750 was having the speaker say after he mentions "chrontum mechanics" is : " And would one of you PLEASE come up with a better term for that!"
I always enjoy the reviewing/critiquing when I can find the space to do it. It means I read each story at least one more time and this month in particular it was pure joy.
Andy, thanks for the comments. Having been sick, I still feel stuck on a quantum glue trap, but your words helped my mood :)
Yes thanks for the comment on my story too, Andy. I've also been not very well and have a heap of comments to catch up on reading.The concept within my story was a hard concept to try to convey and I need to think how I could have done it better in story form.
But basically, by "It could've been a hazy intuition - a naive premonition - that, one day, we’d edit Time; within its spectrum ... using nano-degrees of distinction" I meant that a future time will come when scientists can 'edit'/'control'/'alter' Time ... at a 'scientific level' ... and that that will likely be done indirectly by altering/editing The Record of what happens at very, very finely discriminated points-in-space in Time. (that's why the word "edit" came in: to convey a sophisticated 'manipulation of a record.')
But the scientists aren't quite up to that yet and so, for now, we're still in the prelude stage to that era (just like how humans have always tried to control how much light they could have/alter, in various 'primitive' ways BEFORE science came in and provided the more scientifically sophisticated electric light solution to that problem.
The same thing will happen with Time! One day, scientists will 'edit' it in a sophisticated (but probably only ever indirect) way ... but for now we can definitely only do that indirectly by altering/understanding/re-remembering (correctly or incorrectly) the History we associate with a given point in Time. But we will get more sophisticated at that by being able to, in the next century or so, with the help of a Time-editor, make finer and finer distinctions in those associations between Events and Time. eg associating fragrances with moods and points in time in complicated (even overlapping) spectrums of such things.
Just as one can effectively alter 'History' (which is just 'Events in Time' ordered according to some 'selection' and 'arrangement') by editing it (eg in books) so also can 'the Time element' of that itself also be alterable by how finely we make those associations - eg a fragrance or other sensation can cause one to literally re call-into-existence a certain Time. (But also 3D glasses to watch a movie set in the past or the future is another example.)
I was hypothesizing that one day scientists will be able to, in a very scientifically sophisticated manner, manipulate Time indirectly (by directly editing the record of experiences (ie the space element of space-time) that 'go with that time.' And the students were in a simulation chamber to practice that 'sophistication' of manipulation at finer degrees of distinction ... but one of the students couldn't get past his own associations of 'a Time where he felt contempt' and 'a Time where he felt condemnation' and so he had trouble navigating (such a broadly signposted path) back to present Time. But still he got the general idea of the indirect manipulation of Time and chose to just follow Ruby's more sophisticated manipulation-of-Time tracks, back to the present. (That's why his were only 'baby steps.')
I didn't really 'nail' the conveying of that idea ... but I might try one day to see where I could have tried to say that more clearly. Maybe it just is a longer story that is needed to tell it?
