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Slowly Giving Up.... On Everything
message 101:
by
⛄⛄Call Me Emi⛄⛄
(new)
Apr 13, 2017 08:24PM
i skip first period to get high so i dont have to deal with people for the first 2-3 periods of school. then i skip 4th period to see the bootiful girl during lunch and to talk to some other friends. and sometimes i skip 7th because fuck world history class. ive already learn about it like 4 different school years.
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how do you get a girl your in love with out of your head.... i want to get her out of my head but shes in at least every other thought i have right now.
so i went camping, and while i was doing stuff i didnt think too much of her but when i got bored my mind wondered.... and i wondered what couldve been with her what cant be and what i wouldve wanted. but hey, you cant make someone like you back can you? its gotta be mutual and she wanted to focus on school and herself and not dating. cant blame her. relationships are hardly worth the pain.
okay so the tickets are booked. im leaving on june 23rd to go to the netherlands. im leaving my past behind with my mom and im gonna make a new start. im gonna miss her so much.... i already miss her after not talking to her for a weekend. imagine two years..... i think ill miss all my friends a lot but mostly just her. shes my energy source, she rekindled the fire in my mind when it had been out for the last two years.
theres only two things in life that can still make me cry. one of them is a suicide i cant prevent, whether its in a movie or in real life. and the other is smoke.... like fire smoke. it literally makes me cry xD
i just read that chocolate makes you feel like your in love. who tf needs a relationship when chocolate makes you feel the same?"Phenylethylamine is sometimes called “the love drug”, because it arouses feelings similar to those that occur when one is in love. Another neurotransmitter, serotonin, is a mood-lifter, as well. One chemical that causes the release of serotonin into the brain is tryptophan, found in (wait for it!) chocolate."
eating a lot of chocolate can apparently prevent depression and bad thoughts.....
google is a fucking hero. im eating chocolate till i die of it.
chocolate can also get you high just sayin >.<
ahhhahahahah my results are in...Your Score: Severe Depression
Your answers suggest you are suffering from severe depression. It is important that you schedule an appointment with your doctor or a mental health worker now. Please contact us if you need help locating a mental health professional in your area.
https://www.psycom.net/depression-test/
yesss mental health quizzes are what i live for
theyre usually false... and in this case its true but i no longer give fucks how badly im in the shits.
severe depressionscore
are these things in any way legit
i feel like any teenager who takes this quiz would get severe depression though
nahhh not everyone... but its debatable for everyone on goodreads.
Snapshot ReportOverall results
73%
You responded in a way that indicates moderate to severe depressive symptoms. Your results will tell you whether you meet the criteria for a depressive illness diagnosis. In any case, it is strongly recommended that you see your physician as soon as you can. Depression is treatable and the success rate is very high. You may feel now that every day is a struggle, but things WILL get better. After some time, facing another day will become easier and gradually, you will find joy again. Please, see a doctor; you really do not need to suffer this way. Remember, depression is a medical problem and it is not ''just in your head". It is not something you did, you are not being punished, and it is not your fault. You don't deserve to suffer, no matter how badly you feel about yourself right now. There is help, so please, go and get it.
⛄⛄Emiliootjee⛄⛄ wrote: "google is a fucking hero. im eating chocolate till i die of it."
nice!
nice!
i just hung onto a door because i thought it would swing closed with me on it, but instead it just hung there and cut into my hands xDim dumb >.<
i literally go out on my way to see her in the halls and just to see her in general.... but its like something you cant buy..... you can look at the price, you can try it out, but you end up just looking at it through the window.... never actually going to own it.
Snapshot ReportOverall results
87%
You responded in a way that indicates severe depressive symptoms. It is strongly recommended that you see your physician as soon as you can. Depression is treatable and the success rate is very high. You may feel now that every day is a struggle, but things WILL get better. After some time, facing another day will become easier and gradually, you will find joy again. Please, see a doctor; you really do not need to suffer this way. Remember, depression is a medical problem and it is not ''just in your head". It is not something you did, you are not being punished, and it is not your fault. You don't deserve to suffer, no matter how badly you feel about yourself right now. There is help, so please, go and get it.
i answered it more truthfully this time.
i would do "it" instantly right now if it wasnt for the fact that every scene i imagine has her woven into it.....
"This article is strictly for those who are looking into ideas for a writing a short story. If you’re really looking for ways to kill yourself please stop reading and see a shrink, or get high, or have awesome and meaningless sex, or run." whhhh
yeahhhh ditto on what he said.
rae wrote: ""This article is strictly for those who are looking into ideas for a writing a short story. If you’re really looking for ways to kill yourself please stop reading and see a shrink, or get high, or have awesome and meaningless sex, or run.wthhhh"
⛄⛄Emiliootjee⛄⛄ wrote: "rae wrote: ""This article is strictly for those who are looking into ideas for a writing a short story. If you’re really looking for ways to kill yourself please stop reading and see a shrink, or g..."ah yesss
you said he
so i was like
whos he
i assumed the gender because of the way its written.
old snapchat habit, 11:11i just want her to talk to me again
⛄⛄Emiliootjee⛄⛄ wrote: "i assumed the gender because of the way its written."je m'excuse can girls not get high and have meaningless sex XDD
rae wrote: "⛄⛄Emiliootjee⛄⛄ wrote: "i assumed the gender because of the way its written."je m'excuse can girls not get high and have meaningless sex XDD"
girls write differently.... its just the way a guy would word it.
and yes, girls can do that but in our society that calls for being publicly humiliated if it gets out.
oh yeah im not saying its right im just saying it happens. n people have killed themselves over society.
yeah i knowand i will not say anything about this
at least in public
i dont want to offend or hurt anyone
hahaha my journals not public. and if anyone wants to get offended they can screw off cus i never forced them to read my journal.
i just mean suicide is a touchy subject for most people and i dont like getting into it unless im really confident that the person im talking to is not going to get offended by whatever i say >.<
if you have the nerve to talk to a suicidal then i have the nerve to reply.
i didnt miss the bus... in fact she was like 10 fucking minutes late. sometimes shes there at like 6:07 and then sometimes shes not there till 6:20.... shes bipolar with her timing.
why wont anyone let me die? even my friend whos been telling everyone everything i told her is like "if you kill yourself ill revive you and kill you again" which is pointless cause thats not possible.
whale shit.... its one sided love.... and one sided love doesnt work out. thats been proven with her.
⛄⛄Emiliootjee⛄⛄ wrote: "whale shit.... its one sided love.... and one sided love doesnt work out. thats been proven with her."one sided love as in... you dont love her (your friend) back?
rae wrote: "⛄⛄Emiliootjee⛄⛄ wrote: "whale shit.... its one sided love.... and one sided love doesnt work out. thats been proven with her."one sided love as in... you dont love her (your friend) back?"
my friends love me but i dont really hand love out like lollipops.... and no. she probably doesnt like me back but i really like her.
