it's personal discussion
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~the sea does not like to be restrained (Kavi's journal)~
Oh yeah, I can get tall ppl to reach stuff for me XD the advantages of being short....XD
EVERYONE AT MY YOUTH GROUP SAIDS THAT I LOOK 12! I'M REALLY 19 (GOING ON 20. I'm a YouthGroup helper.)!
So last night....I had a dream that I was texting Gameslayer, and we were kind of talking about marriage and I was asking him if he can wait for me, because I wanted to marry him but we still had to finish up with college and stuff....I was thinking about saying I love you but I didn't and then suddenly me and him were back together, I'm not sure, then it was after school and then I saw Gameslayer come out and going to his bus. I wanted to go over to him but I was feeling shy....and I wasn't sure if we were together or not but I waved to him, I don't think he saw me, and then I'm with my friend David, and he hugged me and kissed my cheek, and I wanted to tell my GR friends about that but I kept forgetting to, and I woke up O_O
I love Gameslayer, but David is my friend and I did have a crush on David well I was in a love triangle because I had feelings for both Gameslayer and David.
❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "So last night....I had a dream that I was texting Gameslayer, and we were kind of talking about marriage and I was asking him if he can wait for me, because I wanted to marry him but we still had t..."wow princess..u got interestin dreams
❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "I love Gameslayer, but David is my friend and I did have a crush on David well I was in a love triangle because I had feelings for both Gameslayer and David."mind if i giv u sum luv advic?
But in the end, I chose Gameslayer because my love for him was stronger, like really strong and I decided to have some kind of Platonic relationships with David, like we can hug and stuff but as friends only.
NerdyJediGymnast wrote: "❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "So last night....I had a dream that I was texting Gameslayer, and we were kind of talking about marriage and I was ask..."Thanks
NerdyJediGymnast wrote: "❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "I love Gameslayer, but David is my friend and I did have a crush on David well I was in a love triangle because I had ..."Sure
For my sake and Miss Laura I use propr grammar:I dont kno this guy, but it sounds lik y'll hav been friends then got together then broke up right? But you still love him. Princess, i undrstand your shy and uneasy bout yourself (or so u say) but really: If you just come straight out and say how you fell, you'l feel SO mch better. When I first meet Cookie I liked her right away. I was scared to say anything to her or be flirty or whatever. When we were friends I felt like things wer perfect. If I didnt say anything, I woudnt hav her with me today. Y'all broke up ok. From a man perspectiv he cud be waiting for you to do sumthin. I dont really know, but Princess come clean and tell him how you feel
❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "Thank you Michael"wat can i say? im the luv expert ;)
btw, it realy does sound lik ur guy stil liks u, but then again who wudnt.... ;)
The problem is....I love him, he is everything, and means a lot and a really special guy, I've probably said this before but.....he's the first guy I fell in love with and the first person here to actually accept me for ME, and the first person I told my secrets to, the only person other than my friends on GR, that I can actually trust, he stayed friends with me this long....even tho I was expecting him to leave, most ppl would've left me by now....He could've left me....he could've walked away but instead he stays....even during the break up before we became friends again, the week he broke up with me, at the anime club we both went, and he came over to said hey to me, he could've ignored me but he didn't....he came over to say hey.....and even now I feel more closer to him then any of my other friends I trust him even tho I can't trust my other friends and I have trust issues.....I love him.....but at the same time.....I don't want to hurt him....I'm still not in a good place.....I'm still in a dark emotionally place even tho I've always masked it behind a smile....and I don't want him to get hurt because of me....I want him to be happy.....
He broke up with me because he said that he didn't want to hurt me anymore then he already had.....he didn't hurt me but he let his depression come in between our relationship.....and I don't want to hurt him either....he doesn't want to hurt me and I don't want to hurt him.....
❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "The problem is....I love him, he is everything, and means a lot and a really special guy, I've probably said this before but.....he's the first guy I fell in love with and the first person here to ..."U wil mak him happy. just figur urself out. u wont hurt him. he'l luv u if u trust him fr by givin it a chanc
Before we started dating, and when I was falling in love with him, I asked myself a bunch of times if I wanted to take the risk of being in love and being with him because I knew that there is a risk of getting hurt because of love, I knew that Gameslayer wouldn't hurt me because I'd been friends for months before we were dating and he's a really nice and kind guy but at the same time....I knew that there was still the risk of getting hurt because falling in love has a lot of risks but I was willing to take the risk because I love him, and I had a feeling that a chance like this won't happen again, I tried going for other guys other than Gameslayer it didn't work out because Gameslayer is just too special
❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "Before we started dating, and when I was falling in love with him, I asked myself a bunch of times if I wanted to take the risk of being in love and being with him because I knew that there is a ri..."this gameslayr sounds lik a good guy i kno (ME lmao)
MICHAEL WEST SMITH:
The wind is moving
But I am standing still
A life of pages
Waiting to be filled
A heart that's hopeful
A head that's full of dreams
But this becoming
Is harder than it seems
Feels like I'm
[Chorus]
Looking for a reason
Roaming through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need Your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world
If there are millions
Down on their knees
Among the many
Can you still hear me?
Hear me asking
Where do I belong?
Is there a vision
That I can call my own?
Show me I'm
[Chorus]
The wind is moving
But I am standing still
A life of pages
Waiting to be filled
A heart that's hopeful
A head that's full of dreams
But this becoming
Is harder than it seems
Feels like I'm
[Chorus]
Looking for a reason
Roaming through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need Your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world
If there are millions
Down on their knees
Among the many
Can you still hear me?
Hear me asking
Where do I belong?
Is there a vision
That I can call my own?
Show me I'm
[Chorus]
I'm a fan of romance but I don't want to just go for any guys, I'm not the type of girl who'd just fall for anyone that easily, the guy has to be nice and kind and funny and he has to be there no matter what happens even in my darkest times, I've only had one relationship which only lasted a month or so, but I've had my heart shattered before by a "friend. My heart is fragile and the guy that takes my heart can't just drop it and then walk away leaving me to break even more. That's why I have to really get to know the guy before I start dating him
❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "I'm a fan of romance but I don't want to just go for any guys, I'm not the type of girl who'd just fall for anyone that easily, the guy has to be nice and kind and funny and he has to be there no..."
*Applauds* Well said, Kavy, well said indeed!!
*Applauds* Well said, Kavy, well said indeed!!
But Gameslayer.....he's just too special....I've said this too much.....but somehow he has some kind of effect on me, idk how to describe it....or how any guy can have that kind effect on me.....but at first didn't want to have a crush on him or anyone in general....I didn't want to fall in love with him or anyone in general....but instead I developed a crush on him and I fell in love with him even tho I promised myself I wouldn't get a crush on anyone in general. He has me smiling uncontrollably, whenever I see him, even tho I don't want to smile or I'm not in the mood to smile.....I don't smile as often as I used to....and when I do smile it's just to hide my true feelings....but whenever I see him even if it's brief, and even if I'm not in the mood.....it's hard to control my smile, and whenever I'm in a bad mood, I see him and somehow everything feels fine, I feel safe when I'm with him, how can one person have that kind of effect on me?.....also he comes into my dreams WAY too often like WAY more than anyone else does.....
Hmmmm, Kavy, obviously this man is the One. I'm glad you have a person like him that makes you feel weird, never knowing what to feel. I'm glad for you, hopefully you figure it out that you need to tell him you want to be gf/bf and again......oh wait, did I say that out loud?
Yeah....I'd been having the feeling that he is the one for a really long time now O_O my gut feeling says it....but I never thought I'd find the one in High school itself I thought I was gonna find him in college....O_O
❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "Yeah....I'd been having the feeling that he is the one for a really long time now O_O my gut feeling says it....but I never thought I'd find the one in High school itself I thought I was gonna find..."
Well, Kavy, you didn't and you better take action before it actually is college.
Well, Kavy, you didn't and you better take action before it actually is college.
NerdyJediGymnast wrote: "❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "Before we started dating, and when I was falling in love with him, I asked myself a bunch of times if I wanted to take..."
Also I didn't erase his drawings on the sides of my drawing in my sketchbook, even tho my drawing is about to overlap his.....I decided to keep his drawings XD because they are his
And I'm probably not gonna erase that anytime soon XD
❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "NerdyJediGymnast wrote: "❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "Before we started dating, and when I was falling in love with him, I asked myself a bunch of ..."
Same name, different person, that still amazes me though.
Same name, different person, that still amazes me though.
So you really do like this guy Kavy *for some reason when I said that I felt I was sitting over the side of a couch and staring up at the ceiling while asking you this question* XD
❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "I love him XD"TELL HIM THAT!
So anyways....the high lights of today so far:-I woke up late
-I missed the bus
-I was late to my first period
Today isn't gonna be a good day....I just know it.....I have a feeling.....
Well, tell yourself it's going to be a good day and look forward to listening to some Black Veil Brides and Linkin Park. :)
....I keep zoning out today....
Also....I couldn't sleep until 1 something am last night because of Insomnia.....eventually I did fall asleep but I'm still so sleepy......
The font looks different for some reason....
Ugh I keep zoning out today >->
So during lunch:I was sitting next to Gameslayer the whole time, and working on my drawing of Sora from Kingdom Hearts. And there was a cup with beans at the table where me and Gameslayer and Annette were sitting at because we eat lunch in a biology classroom, because that's the room where we go to eat lunch. And then Annette started putting beans on my drawing of Sora and I poked Gameslayer's arm and pointed at my drawing and he was like "goodness" and he kept trying to brush the beans off my drawing and he covered my drawing with his hand because Annette kept trying to put the beans on my drawing XD
Also, before I left lunch I hugged Gameslayer and he hugged me tightly.
It's cold and I don't have a jacket with me and I'm wearing short sleeves....but for some reason I don't feel cold....
❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "So during lunch:I was sitting next to Gameslayer the whole time, and working on my drawing of Sora from Kingdom Hearts. And there was a cup with beans at the table where me and Gameslayer and Ann..."
❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "Also, before I left lunch I hugged Gameslayer and he hugged me tightly."
good job princess K. ur getin out ther
So last night I had a dream:Me and Gameslayer were kind of dating again but I wasn't sure if were really dating or not but we kissed and hugged and stuff and I had a schedule change so I was in two of Gameslayer's classes. O_O and then it was 1st period I was feeling really sad for some reason...and almost crying but Gameslayer was about to come in and I didn't want him to see me cry so I asked the teacher if I could go to the bathroom and I went....
Damnit it was only a dream....i wish i was having a dream but im not *xries*
That dream felt kind of real tho....idk why....
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
Every Day (other topics)If I Was Your Girl (other topics)
If I Was Your Girl (other topics)
City of Lost Souls (other topics)
Leah on the Offbeat (other topics)
More...
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I'm 17 and 4' 10 XD Ppl think I'm in middle school XD