it's personal discussion
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~the sea does not like to be restrained (Kavi's journal)~
message 3501:
by
kavi ~he-him~
(new)
Mar 01, 2017 01:05PM
Besides it's gonna take me YEARS to fully heal....
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❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "i've probably said this before but.....I'm SEVERELY depressed.....like to the point where I get suicidal thoughts.....feelings of worthlessness, I can't even control my thoughts, and I'm scared of ..."
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Kavy don't tell me you're having suicidal thoughts!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Kavy don't tell me you're having suicidal thoughts!
❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "i've probably said this before but.....I'm SEVERELY depressed.....like to the point where I get suicidal thoughts.....feelings of worthlessness, I can't even control my thoughts, and I'm scared of ..."Kavy, calm down. Your not worthless. No matter anyway says in this world, your not worthless. It doesn't matter if people think you are. You were not born to please everyone. If everyone could just please everyone in the world, what is life then? You are being yourself, Kavy. Just relax and think of good things. Think of things you like. When someone makes you feel worthless or hopeless, just remember their a passing cloud Kavy, you can't change who you are for people. If they don't like you for being yourself, then be yourself even more. I learned that the hard way but trust me, Kavy. Don't take the wrong decisions. One wrong decision will change your entire life Think of it like their people who don't understand me. There's SO MANY of us here in goodreads who LOVE YOU and think your The ONLY Kavy who is great Please, don't make the wrong decisions. We are all here for you. Remember that
Blue wrote: "❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "i've probably said this before but.....I'm SEVERELY depressed.....like to the point where I get suicidal thoughts........"
You have a lot to lose Kavy, think about that.
You have a lot to lose Kavy, think about that.
❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "i've probably said this before but.....I'm SEVERELY depressed.....like to the point where I get suicidal thoughts.....feelings of worthlessness, I can't even control my thoughts, and I'm scared of ..."
To be honest and I NEVER told my parents this. You know that I'm still battling Candida (it might end in June). Well, at one point of frustration, I told myself that, "CANDIDA SHOULD'VE ENDED ME!"
To be honest and I NEVER told my parents this. You know that I'm still battling Candida (it might end in June). Well, at one point of frustration, I told myself that, "CANDIDA SHOULD'VE ENDED ME!"
PinkLoki(Shine) RULER OF: CrimsonPeak, Asgard, Jotunheim, Midgard, AvengersTower wrote: "❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "i've probably said this before but.....I'm SEVERELY depressed.....like to the point where I get suicidal thoughts........"
Wait....was....that supposed...to be motivational.....?
Wait....was....that supposed...to be motivational.....?
I know it wasn't like me. I'm trying to stay positive as much as possible.
Trelas wrote: "❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "i've probably said this before but.....I'm SEVERELY depressed.....like to the point where I get suicidal thoughts........"Blue wrote: "❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "i've probably said this before but.....I'm SEVERELY depressed.....like to the point where I get suicidal thoughts........"
I can't control them guys, I'd been getting those for THREE years now.....I'm trying to stay strong, I'm trying to battle those thoughts, at times, they go away for a while but then they come back even worse then usual, it's weird, it's my own mind, I should be able to control it, but depression has taken over my mind, and it makes it hard to control my thoughts. I don't want those suicidal thoughts, but I know I have reasons to live, I want to live for those reasons, but these suicidal thoughts are REALLY hard to control....
I understand that Kavy but you have to fight. It's never easy.. Nothing is ever easy. You have to struggle and fight to get what you want. At the end Kavy, it will be worth it. Whenever your getting these thoughts, think of something that makes you happy. Like a friend, family member. Think of anything.. A sport, something you do, art, music.. A happy song?
I hate this feelings, I HATE DEPRESSION AND I HATE ANXIETY I HATE PARANOIA!! I AM SO TIRED AND SCARED AND I HATE FEELING THIS WAY, idk how to deal with this...
also, I'm so sick today......I vomited just now, my head hurts, my body aches, and I have a really bad cough.....
Blue wrote: "I understand that Kavy but you have to fight. It's never easy.. Nothing is ever easy. You have to struggle and fight to get what you want. At the end Kavy, it will be worth it. Whenever your gettin..."I'm trying Blue, I want to get there, music helps me a lot, all my favorite bands.....they saved my life so many times......
Hi Kav, I just want you to know that I'm really, really worried about you and I know that doesn't fix what you're dealing with, but I am here and I care and I will help in any way I can, even if all I c an do is listen and talk. Love you so, so much bestie <3
Thank you so much bestie.....I love you.....*hugs* WHY DO WE ALL HAVE TO BE SO FAR AWAY FROM EACH OTHER??
KAVY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!! YOU ARE AMAZING AND THE BEST!!!!
I have a song for you. It's called secret for the mad
I love you too Maple, *hugs everyone* thank you guys.....<33333333333333333333333333
idek how I'm gonna be able to go to school tomorrow....
I want to stay home, and miss tomorrow, but I'm afraid I might miss something important, and tomorrow and day after are the last two days before spring break, and I want to see Gameslayer but I'm so sick....
Kavy if I could I would totally reach through this computer right now and hug you
Kavy, I might have said this before, but you are legit scaring me, I'm worried.
Keep Your Head Up
Michael Jackson
She's lookin' for a job and a finer place to stay,
She's lookin' for the hope in the empty promising,
She's workin' two jobs, keepin' alive,
She works in a restaurant, night and day
She waits her life away
She wipes the tears away
She cries inside every time she feels this way,
And she's dying inside every time her baby cries, no
Keepin' your head up to the sky,
Keepin' your mind up stay alive,
Gimme your wings so we can fly,
(Keep your head up tonight)
Keepin' your head up to the sky,
And we can just rise up tell me now,
Gimme your wings so we can fly
Giving up the life in the birds in the trees
And we're sucking up the air in the earth from under me,
(It's never too late)
I can't even breathe (to see) I can't even see,
(Oh keep) Keep your head up don't give up today,
How long can we wait?
I wish that love would come today
All you need is love,
Tell you I'm know it's comin' soon,
And all you need is just a moment, won't it do,
Keep your head up
Keepin' your head up to the sky,
Keepin' your mind to stay alive
Gimme your wings so we can fly,
(fly away, fly away, fly away)
(Keep your head up tonight)
Keepin' your head up to the sky,
And we can just rise up tell me now,
Gimme your wings so we can fly
(Oh why)
Everybody say the time is borrowed
And hanging down your head just ain't no good
And if you dance and rise above tomorrow
(Give it a chance)
Just give yourself a chance,
Find the circumstance,
Rise and do it again
Keepin' your head up to the sky (Oh God)
Keepin' your mind up stay alive (Oh no)
Gimme your wings so we can fly
(Yeah, yeah!)
Keepin' your head up to the sky,
And we can just rise up tell me now
Gimme your wings so we can fly
Keepin' your head up to the sky
(I needed you night right through the day)
Keepin' your mind just stay alive
(I needed you now)
Keepin' your wings so we can fly (Woo! woo!)
(Yeah!)
Keepin' your head up to the sky
(I needed you night right through the day)
And we can just rise up tell me now
(I needed you now)
Keepin' your wings so we can fly (Woo! woo! woo!)
Gonna shine his smile on us today
Keep your head up
Gonna shine his smile on us today, today
Keep your head up
Those songs gon' rise on us today, today
Gonna shine his smile on us today, today
Those songs gon' rise on us today, today
(I needed you night right through the day)
(I needed you now)
Gonna shine his smile on us today, today
Keep your head up
Michael Jackson
She's lookin' for a job and a finer place to stay,
She's lookin' for the hope in the empty promising,
She's workin' two jobs, keepin' alive,
She works in a restaurant, night and day
She waits her life away
She wipes the tears away
She cries inside every time she feels this way,
And she's dying inside every time her baby cries, no
Keepin' your head up to the sky,
Keepin' your mind up stay alive,
Gimme your wings so we can fly,
(Keep your head up tonight)
Keepin' your head up to the sky,
And we can just rise up tell me now,
Gimme your wings so we can fly
Giving up the life in the birds in the trees
And we're sucking up the air in the earth from under me,
(It's never too late)
I can't even breathe (to see) I can't even see,
(Oh keep) Keep your head up don't give up today,
How long can we wait?
I wish that love would come today
All you need is love,
Tell you I'm know it's comin' soon,
And all you need is just a moment, won't it do,
Keep your head up
Keepin' your head up to the sky,
Keepin' your mind to stay alive
Gimme your wings so we can fly,
(fly away, fly away, fly away)
(Keep your head up tonight)
Keepin' your head up to the sky,
And we can just rise up tell me now,
Gimme your wings so we can fly
(Oh why)
Everybody say the time is borrowed
And hanging down your head just ain't no good
And if you dance and rise above tomorrow
(Give it a chance)
Just give yourself a chance,
Find the circumstance,
Rise and do it again
Keepin' your head up to the sky (Oh God)
Keepin' your mind up stay alive (Oh no)
Gimme your wings so we can fly
(Yeah, yeah!)
Keepin' your head up to the sky,
And we can just rise up tell me now
Gimme your wings so we can fly
Keepin' your head up to the sky
(I needed you night right through the day)
Keepin' your mind just stay alive
(I needed you now)
Keepin' your wings so we can fly (Woo! woo!)
(Yeah!)
Keepin' your head up to the sky
(I needed you night right through the day)
And we can just rise up tell me now
(I needed you now)
Keepin' your wings so we can fly (Woo! woo! woo!)
Gonna shine his smile on us today
Keep your head up
Gonna shine his smile on us today, today
Keep your head up
Those songs gon' rise on us today, today
Gonna shine his smile on us today, today
Those songs gon' rise on us today, today
(I needed you night right through the day)
(I needed you now)
Gonna shine his smile on us today, today
Keep your head up
don't be, I have you guys, music, books, art, drawing, Gameslayer, and my friends irl, even tho they don't know it.....
My parents would probably want me studying Earth and Space science cause I'm failing that class and I need the credit to graduate.....but.....
King For A Day by Pierce the Veil (feat. Kellin Quinn of Sleeping with Sirens)
[Vic Fuentes & Kellin Quinn]
Dare me to jump off of this Jersey bridge?
I bet you never had a Friday night like this
Keep it up, keep it up, let's raise our hands
I take a look up at the sky and I see red
Red for the cancer, red for the wealthy
Red for the drink that's mixed with suicide
Everything red
[Kellin Quinn]
Please, won't you push me for the last time
Let's scream until there's nothing left
So sick of playing, I don't want this anymore
The thought of you's no fucking fun
You want a martyr, I'll be one
Because enough's enough, we're done
[Vic Fuentes]
You told me think about it, well I did
Now I don't wanna feel a thing anymore
I'm tired of begging for the things that I want
I'm over sleeping like a dog on the floor
[Vic Fuentes]
The thing I think I love
Will surely bring me pain
Intoxication, paranoia, and a lot of fame
Three cheers for throwing up
Pubescent drama queen
You make me sick, I make it worse by drinking late
[Kellin Quinn]
Scream until there's nothing left
So sick of playing, I don't want to anymore
The thought of you's no fucking fun
You want a martyr I'll be one
Because enough's enough, we're done
[Vic Fuentes]
You told me think about it, well I did
Now I don't wanna feel a thing anymore
I'm tired of begging for the things that I want
I'm over sleeping like a dog on the floor
[Kellin Quinn]
Imagine living like a king someday
A single night without a ghost in the walls
And if the bass shakes the earth underground
We'll start a new revolution now
(Now! Alright here we go)
[Vic Fuentes]
Hail Mary, forgive me
Blood for blood, hearts beating
Come at me, now this is war!
Fuck with this new beat
Oh!
[Kellin Quinn & Vic Fuentes]
Now terror begins inside a bloodless vein
I was just a product of the street youth rage
Born in this world without a voice or say
Caught in the spokes with an abandoned brain
I know you well but this ain't a game
Blow the smoke in diamond shape
Dying is a gift so close your eyes and rest in peace
[Vic Fuentes]
You told me think about it, well I did
Now I don't wanna feel a thing anymore
I'm tired of begging for the things that I want
I'm over sleeping like a dog on the floor
[Kellin Quinn]
Imagine living like a king someday
A single night without a ghost in the walls
We are the shadows screaming take us now
[Vic Fuentes]
We'd rather die than live to rust on the ground
Shit
sorry for the cuss words guys, I just love this song
❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "don't be, I have you guys, music, books, art, drawing, Gameslayer, and my friends irl, even tho they don't know it....."
Of course we know you have those things but you still scare me, if only I could make sure you didn't do anything.....dumb.....thats the word.
Of course we know you have those things but you still scare me, if only I could make sure you didn't do anything.....dumb.....thats the word.
❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: " King For A Day by Pierce the Veil
(feat. Kellin Quinn of Sleeping with Sirens)
[Vic Fuentes & Kellin Quinn]
Dare me to jump off of this Jersey bridge?
I bet you never had a Friday night like ..."
The cuss words aren't the problem, what is the message this song is sending, Kavy?
(feat. Kellin Quinn of Sleeping with Sirens)
[Vic Fuentes & Kellin Quinn]
Dare me to jump off of this Jersey bridge?
I bet you never had a Friday night like ..."
The cuss words aren't the problem, what is the message this song is sending, Kavy?
Trelas I'm not going to do anything, I'd been at the point of suicide, the point where I almost wanted to do it, the point where I just desperately wanted to give up, but instead I decided to go one more day, I decided to continue, because I wanted to continue, and I've thought about what would happen a bunch of times, and I knew that it would hurt the ppl I love, and I don't want that, I don't want to hurt anyone that I love because I love them too much, and for the music too, and my dreams, my books I'm writing, college, all the things I'm looking forward to, so I stay for them....
Trelas wrote: "❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: " King For A Day by Pierce the Veil (feat. Kellin Quinn of Sleeping with Sirens)
[Vic Fuentes & Kellin Quinn]
Dare me..."
it helps me Trelas, these ppl are some of the bands that saved my life and kept me going
❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "Trelas wrote: "❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: " King For A Day by Pierce the Veil
(feat. Kellin Quinn of Sleeping with Sirens)
[Vic Fuentes & Kellin..."
Kavy......if you say so, Kavy.....
(feat. Kellin Quinn of Sleeping with Sirens)
[Vic Fuentes & Kellin..."
Kavy......if you say so, Kavy.....
for some reason, listening to sad music, helps me a lot, it calms me, and soothes me, and comforts me, I love that moment when a song comes on, and it just fits my mood.
❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "for some reason, listening to sad music, helps me a lot, it calms me, and soothes me, and comforts me, I love that moment when a song comes on, and it just fits my mood."
The logic in that makes no sense to me but if it helps you, listen to it all day.
The logic in that makes no sense to me but if it helps you, listen to it all day.
❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "ME AND GAMESLAYER BE MAKING PROGRESS"FINALLY!!! *hugs tightly*
Gødꧧ øf løvê Prïñçꧧ øf wëîrdñ맧~Î'll âlwãŷ§ bê hëré~Lŷ§ wrote: "❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "ME AND GAMESLAYER BE MAKING PROGRESS"FINALLY!!! *hugs tightly*"
YES *hugs*
ugh, I hate being sick, this is kind of a bad timing for me to get sick :( but....life....
I have a quiz in science tomorrow, and I'm already failing that class and I need that credit to graduate, but I'm so sick....
Wishing I'd stayed home today.....
Lol I lost track of time while in the library I wish I could stay there forever
I'm so tired and sleepy.....I nearly fell asleep while in the bus, I wonder if my friends would let me sleep during lunch idk.....I don't want them to worry.....
❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "I'm so tired and sleepy.....I nearly fell asleep while in the bus, I wonder if my friends would let me sleep during lunch idk.....I don't want them to worry....."
I'm worrying about you as always....
I'm worrying about you as always....
Trelas wrote: "❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "I'm so tired and sleepy.....I nearly fell asleep while in the bus, I wonder if my friends would let me sleep during lu..."SAME
Trying to stay awake, but my eyes are like drowsy and closing
Just....all most one more period to go.....
❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "Just....all most one more period to go....."
U home now?
U home now?
Hold On by Good Charlotte This world, this world is cold
But you don't, you don't have to go
You're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely
And no one seems to care
Your mother's gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bear
But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through
Hold on, if you feel like letting go
Hold on, it gets better than you know
Your days, you say they're way too long
And your nights, you can't sleep at all
Hold on
And you're not sure what you're waiting for
But you don't want to know more
You're not sure what you're looking for
But you don't want to know more
But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through
Hold on, if you feel like letting go
Hold on, it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking, you're one step closer
Don't stop searching, it's not over
Hold on
What are you looking for?
What are you waiting for?
Do you know what you're doing to me?
Go ahead
What are you waiting for?
Hold on, if you feel like letting go
Hold on, it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking, you're one step closer
Don't stop searching, it's not over
Hold on, if you feel like letting go
Hold on, it gets better than you know
Hold on
I can't help but feel worried for Gameslayer, he's been so depressed and because of his mom.....idk how he is hanging in there.....he has us, he's smiling when he's with us at lunch or anime club, but today after 6th period, when I was walking to my 7th period class, and he was walking to his, we saw each other but it was brief, I smiled and said hey and he said hey back and I saw his eyes and he saw mine, but he wasn't smiling.....at first, I had some thoughts that it was me....but my gut feeling was saying that it was not me, it's something else.....idk what to do.....I want to be there for him and help him because I love him so much, but idk how to be there.....idk what to do.....I'm scared he's gonna do something really stupid, and I don't want him to do that. I don't like seeing him like this....I don't like seeing him in pain, because it hurts me.....I like it when he smiles.....I love his smile, and I want to see it more often......
I wish there was something I could do.....
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
Every Day (other topics)If I Was Your Girl (other topics)
If I Was Your Girl (other topics)
City of Lost Souls (other topics)
Leah on the Offbeat (other topics)
More...
