~the sea does not like to be restrained (Kavi's journal)~ Showing 3,451-3,500 of 20,355

[kavi ~he-him~]

so, next week is Spring break, and last year's spring break was the week me and Gameslayer started dating

[[deleted user]]

how much time did u spend on this quiz? lol

[kavi ~he-him~]

next monday, March 6, was the day I confessed my feelings to Gameslayer last year, and then the next day on March 7, was the day I first said "I love you" to Gameslayer last year XD

[kavi ~he-him~]

Trelas wrote: "how much time did u spend on this quiz? lol"

a couple of mins XD I stole it from Jay

[kavi ~he-him~]

March 16 of last year, was the day I got my first kiss XD

[[deleted user]]

❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "next monday, March 6, was the day I confessed my feelings to Gameslayer last year, and then the next day on March 7, was the day I first said "I love you" to Gameslayer last year XD"

Wow, anniversary, kind of.

[[deleted user]]

❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "Trelas wrote: "how much time did u spend on this quiz? lol"

a couple of mins XD I stole it from Jay"

ah

[kavi ~he-him~]

Trelas wrote: "❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "next monday, March 6, was the day I confessed my feelings to Gameslayer last year, and then the next day on March 7, w..."

XD Yes I remembered these days XD these days are actually really special for me XD

[[deleted user]]

❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "Trelas wrote: "❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "next monday, March 6, was the day I confessed my feelings to Gameslayer last year, and then the next da..."

Thats awesome Kavy...

[Hallie]

❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: " Personal survey
stolen from Jay
1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Gray from my favorite anime, Fairy Tail
2. Are you outgoing or shy? Shy
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?..."

Stealing this because I'm in a bad mood.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I think I'm getting sick ;-; I don't want to get sick not right now

[kavi ~he-him~]

Also three weeks from now.....the week my fav band broke up.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO RON WEASLEY

[kavi ~he-him~]

I GRADUATE IN 3 MONTHS AHHH COLLEGE IS NEAR

[kavi ~he-him~]

All these years.....went by so fast....I made it this far.....after everything I'd been through......I can't believe it.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

Also i turn 18 in 5 months

[kavi ~he-him~]

So I may have mentioned a little about my past but I never told my whole story of everything I'd been through

[kavi ~he-him~]

And I trust you guys a lot, because you are a family to me, even tho I have trust issues

[kavi ~he-him~]

So here is my story of everything I'd been through

[kavi ~he-him~]

*closes eyes* so here it is.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

(view spoiler)[ In Preschool, I didn't have any friends, and everyone hated me, well I had "friends", like one min they were my "friends" but then the next min they were like "I am not your friends" and they bullied me.....even the teacher hated me....Then in Elementary school, Ppl still hated me, I had some "friends" but they weren't really that nice and.....I don't think they were my real friends....And I was stupid because I started doing what ppl told me to do, in first grade, this one person told me to go into the boys bathroom....and I did.....and I was the one that got into trouble not the person who told me to go in there.....then this person told me to kiss him....and I did....then that same person started bullying me.....(I usually leave this part out when telling ppl about my story, because I hate myself for doing this, I still regret doing this even now....also I don't count this as my first kiss because again I hate myself for doing it and it's one of my biggest mistakes....) he'd been bullying me all through 1st and 2nd Grade, I tried to tell the teacher and they tried to tell him to stop but he still kept doing it, my own twin brother never even helped me or try to protect me, they knew cause the bully hurt me physically, he stopped after 2nd grade but ppl still hated me, in 4th grade, I had some "friends" who I used to play with during recess a lot but then after a while they ditched me.....which led me to meeting my best friend, Meytal, and in 4th and 5th grade I met so many really nice and sweet friends, but I often got left out and was the third wheel in that group, I tried not to be the third wheel but it was hard.....also they caused too much drama, Meytal was okay tho she was nice, but after 6th grade they all moved away and I was lonely, I tried hanging out with some ppl but they weren't really my friends, I had imaginary friends but still.....then in 9th grade, I made a friend in art class but she hurt me really really bad (that's my ex-friend, and you guys already know the long the story of what happened with her), but my heart was shattered and I started developing trust issues, then in 10th grade I made another friend who was okay and stuff but then after a while she left me and started ignoring me, and my friend had a friend who was being mean to me....then in 11th grade, this girl became my friend and then after a while she left me....and I've been told I was worthless and I've been told multiple times that no one likes me.....I try not to believe that but it's hard not to.....and I often feel like I'm useless.... (hide spoiler)]

So....there is everything....*closes eyes*

[[deleted user]]

Kavy. Hug me.

[Hallie]

*hugs Kavy* Your "friends" are idiots! Why would anyone hate you? You're one of the sweetest people on the planet! And the bullies - I'm taking the next flight to Texas to beat them up.

[kavi ~he-him~]

*hugs both Trelas and Hallie*

[[deleted user]]

Speaking about the boys bathroom, I was in first grade, (I'M A GIRL), and I was curious about why the boys bathroom was different than the girls bathroom. So, I peeked in there and I think someone told an adult on me. I was only curious.

I still remember those girls, I didn't know them, I was doing something in the girls bathroom, not causing trouble or anything. Then, they suddenly told their teacher on me for something that I didn't do!

[[deleted user]]

*SQUISH HUGS KAVY*

[kavi ~he-him~]

*hugs sis* I love you guys

[kavi ~he-him~]

I remember once in 10th grade I was going to go to the bathroom and I accidentally went into the boys bathroom O_O

[[deleted user]]

Guys, to be honest, I made a mistake myself of going into the women's basketball in Elementary, trust me, I don't feel ashamed at all or embarrassed.

[Eric]

hi everyone

[[deleted user]]

❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "I remember once in 10th grade I was going to go to the bathroom and I accidentally went into the boys bathroom O_O"

That's ok. It happened me at McDonald's years ago. I didn't know that not all bathrooms had the same sign line up. I was used to the girls on the left side and the boys on the right. This McDonald's had the boys on the left side and the girls on the right. I didn't know until I finished my bathroom business. I was embarrassed throughout the day.

[Hallie]

Once my friend and I were exploring our school on the first day of year 6, and we accidentally stepped into the boys' bathroom. Unfortunately for us, a bigger boy saw us from outside and decided to make fun of us. So we had to run and hide every time he was around for an entire year until he left the school!

[kavi ~he-him~]

Wow there was a guy in the bathroom that time when I went into that bathroom

[kavi ~he-him~]

Green Day is coming to Dallas on March 4, Pierce the Veil is coming on May 25 Breaking Benjamin is coming on April 14, All time low is coming July 1, I WANNA GOO AND SEE THEM SO BADLY but idk if I can :( I'm dying to meet them I'm dying to meet one of my fav bands BUT LIFE UGHH

[[deleted user]]

❄️Princess Kavy of Books and music ❄️~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "Wow there was a guy in the bathroom that time when I went into that bathroom"

There were three men and I thought they were using the lady's room until I walked out and saw the lady's sign.

My curiosity from elementary to a complete embarrassment (when I was older) at McDonald's!

[kavi ~he-him~]

I WANT TO GO I WANT TO MEET THEM but idk if my parents will let me :(

[kavi ~he-him~]

Life.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

I wish there was any way I could actually meet them......any of my fav bands.....I want to so badly.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

Some of them haven't even replied to my pms

[kavi ~he-him~]

Also all the band members that I pmed never responded :(

[kavi ~he-him~]

Also my parents and teachers have an ARD meeting which I have to go today and I'm kind of nervous and it starts at 1:30....

[kavi ~he-him~]

ME AND GAMESLAYER BE MAKING PROGRESS

[kavi ~he-him~]

I was sitting next to him the whole time during lunch and he helped me a little with my drawing of Sora O_O

[kavi ~he-him~]

I was going to give him and my other friends a hug but I decided not to cause I'm kind of sick rn and I don't want to get Gameslayer or my other friend sick

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm gonna be going to the meeting soon....wish me luck....

[kavi ~he-him~]

Back and the teachers that were at the meeting now know about my social anxiety.....and they were talking about it for a while talking about taking me to a counselor or someone.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

I don't want to talk to a counselor....I can't....my social anxiety is REALLY bad and I have trust issues, I don't want to talk to anyone I just met yet, I can't....Idk how to.....Idk how to open up about my feelings.....I don't want to talk to a counselor....

[kavi ~he-him~]

Besides it's not just Social anxiety I have I have Depression as well which makes it hard for me to focus

[kavi ~he-him~]

i've probably said this before but.....I'm SEVERELY depressed.....like to the point where I get suicidal thoughts.....feelings of worthlessness, I can't even control my thoughts, and I'm scared of my mind I can't stop overthinking I can't stop worrying no matter how hard I try.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm too scared to get attached and too close to everyone