~the sea does not like to be restrained (Kavi's journal)~ Showing 2,951-3,000 of 20,355

[kavi ~he-him~]

PPL, I MAY BE DIFFERENT, I MAY NOT BE LIKE YOU GUYS I MAY NOT BE PERFECT, BUT I AM ONLY HUMAN, I AM ONLY HUMAN, AND I HAVE FEELINGS, JUST LIKE ALL OF YOU, I HAVE FEELINGS THAT CAN GET HURT!! I AM NOT PERFECT, I MAKE MISTAKES, I MESS UP AT TIMES!! BUT IT'S BECAUSE I AM ONLY HUMAN!!!!

[kavi ~he-him~]

PinkLoki(Shine) RULER OF: CrimsonPeak, Asgard, Jotunheim, Midgard, AvengersTower wrote: "I've been replaced before...I'm trying to remember the timeline of it..."

same :( I'd been replaced more than once, I'd even felt replaced *sighs*....

[[deleted user]]

I wish Asgard was real. Become immortal and do the Asgardian way.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I wish all of the fictional worlds were real....I wish I could actually meet my fav bands.....I want to tell them my troubles, I want to tell them my problems. And my story.....but unfortunately they're bands/celebrities. And they are busy :(

[kavi ~he-him~]

I messaged Andy Biersack from Black Veil Brides, and Kellin Quinn from Sleeping with Sirens but they didn't answer :( but I wished they did :(

[[deleted user]]

They will, kavy, give it some time.

[jericho]

Trelas wrote: "They will, kavy, give it some time."

Yeah, Kavy
-Dom
Patience is the key
-Jack

[[deleted user]]

Dom the Gamer Girl ~ I'm a girl and I love video games,my friends say I'm not a normal girl...sorry I would rather sit at home and play my games wrote: "Trelas wrote: "They will, kavy, give it some time."

Yeah, Kavy
-Dom
Patience is the key
-Jack"

See, both of them agreed.

[kavi ~he-him~]

True I was in a mood yesterday because of life and then I listened to some bvb songs and it helped a lot

[kavi ~he-him~]

I think I'm getting sick...:(

[kavi ~he-him~]

They still haven't responded yet :(

[jericho]

Princess Kavy of Books and music ~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "They still haven't responded yet :("

It'll take time.
-Dom

What she said
-Jack

[kavi ~he-him~]

Andy is probably busy with a tour rn

[jericho]

Princess Kavy of Books and music ~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "Andy is probably busy with a tour rn"

probably
-Dom

[kavi ~he-him~]

I feel so sick :( my mom is sick with a cold and this morning I woke up with a feeling in my throat, idk how to describe it, I have the coughs and my nose is runny

[kavi ~he-him~]

I just pmed All time low on IG

[[deleted user]]

Sorry, you're feeling sick, Kavy.

[Hallie]

*hugs Kavy* Get better soon!

[kavi ~he-him~]

Thanks guys :( *hugs both Trelas and Hallie* I should've stayed home today.....

[[deleted user]]

Princess Kavy of Books and music ~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "Thanks guys :( *hugs both Trelas and Hallie* I should've stayed home today....."

*hugs tightly* No problem, and I had no idea you was at school. I thought you would have stayed at home.

[Hallie]

Kavy, you should have! Can I hug the sickness out of you like Ahana and another friend did for me when I was sick? *hugs*

[kavi ~he-him~]

Thanks guys, *hugs* but unfortunately if I stayed home today I would've missed something important in English today

[kavi ~he-him~]

And I have a test in Econ tomorrow :(

[Hallie]

:(

[kavi ~he-him~]

What is wrong with the world and society these days? :(

[kavi ~he-him~]

Society is like "just be yourself" and yet they still judge you for it anyways

[kavi ~he-him~]

Society is messed up

[kavi ~he-him~]

Like It's so hard to live up to other ppl's expectations which I don't want to do

[kavi ~he-him~]

As I was saying yesterday....

[kavi ~he-him~]

I JUST WANT TO BE MY OWN SELF AND DO MY OWN THINGS But ppl keep expecting things I DON'T WANT TO LIVE UP TO OTHER PPL'S EXPECTATIONS I WANT TO LIVE UP TO MY OWN STUFF

[Hallie]

UPVOTES KAVY'S COMMENTS!!!!!

[kavi ~he-him~]

When I was younger I used to want so badly just to fit in with everyone I tried so hard, I tried so hard to impress ppl so I can be their friends I did it a lot with my old friends in 5th grade cause I got left out often. I tried not to get left out but it was hard....call me a show off but I was always the one that got left out and treated as the third wheel. I was the outcast, so many ppl had friends and a group I had a group but I got left out. My friends were nice but still except for my best friend, Meytal she was nice, but after my friends all moved during middle school I was alone and been searching for a new group, I had my imaginary friends but still....I talked with some ppl and hung out with them and they were nice but they weren't my friends....

[kavi ~he-him~]

I guess you could say that I'm kind of like Leo Valdez from Percy Jackson, he's like the seventh wheel and I'm like the third wheel.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Even now with my friends at school I sometimes feel unwanted and left out and not good enough for them....even tho they hadn't left me yet.....I know they want me I know they care but my feelings and thoughts....ughh

[kavi ~he-him~]

But now I'M DONE TRYING

I'm done caring if ppl hate me or not
I'm done caring if they leave me or not
I'm done trying to fit in with everyone
I'm done trying to impress everyone
I'm done with fake friends
I'm done with trying because it only ends up with ME getting hurt

[Hallie]

Kavy!!!! You have us!!!! And you fit in just fine here!!!!

[kavi ~he-him~]

Thank you Hallie GR....the Internet....music....books.....the only places where I can fit in and where I can be accepted for ME

[Hallie]

And we love you for you.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Irl it's like this.....

Ppl become friends with me, and then after a while they start to get tired of me and then they leave or stop trying and then leave me with my heart breaking and shattering, it hurts a lot.....I shouldn't care because if they leave then that means they are not my real friends but it doesn't stop it from hurting....

[[deleted user]]

Princess Kavy of Books and music ~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "Irl it's like this.....

Ppl become friends with me, and then after a while they start to get tired of me and then they leave or stop trying and then leave me with my heart breaking and shattering,..."

Well, hopefully you have comfort in knowing that everyone you have met on GR will never leave you or get tired of you.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Thank you guys......

[kavi ~he-him~]

Story time:

So during lunch, I walked into the room and Gameslayer was already sitting there and I was walking to the table that is next to Gameslayer's

Gameslayer: hey Kavya
Me: hey
Gameslayer: how's it going?
Me: okay....tired....
Me: *sighs* it's so hard trying to live up to ppl expectations....
Gameslayer: yeah....welcome to life
Me: Society is messed up. They're like "be yourself" and yet they still judge us anyways....

I think I was about to cry or something I'm not sure. I'm usually not good at opening up about my feelings out loud.

Then Gameslayer talked to the teacher about something yesterday

Me: *pulls my chair over to Gameslayer's side and sits down*
Me: My mom tells me to dress like other ppl and look at how other ppl are dressing and I'm just like *sighs*
Gameslayer: wow I guess she doesn't know what "be yourself" means
Gameslayer: Kavya
Me: hm? *looks at him*
Gameslayer: want some? *offers me a chip*
Me: sure *takes one*
Me: *takes out my hw that I didn't finish yesterday* I didn't finish my hw yesterday
Gameslayer: *turns my hw towards him and looks at him* it's easy (he's in Econ too)
Then I showed Gameslayer the inside of my backpack cause I have papers everywhere
Gameslayer: *looks inside my backpack* organize *says something else but I forgot what he said*
Me: I'm lazy, like at the beginning of the year I put my papers in the binder and then after a while I get lazy and stuff

Then after I finished my hw
Me: Jon, you have Instagram right?
Gameslayer: yeah
Me: can I follow you?
Gameslayer: sure
Me: *gives him my phone*
Gameslayer: *types in his username*

Then before I left I walked over to him and gave him a hug

Gameslayer: see ya
Me: bye guys
Gameslayer: bye

[kavi ~he-him~]

*sighs, dreamily* he is so amazing.....

[NerdyJediGymnast]

Princess Kavy of Books and music ~It's killing me, I admit it now~ wrote: "*sighs, dreamily* he is so amazing....."

SOUNDS LIKE PROGRESS IS BEING MADE

[jericho]

Progress is being made!

[kavi ~he-him~]

I just love talking to him about things.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

I think I'm gonna talk to him about more things now

[kavi ~he-him~]

When he asked how it was going I would've said I was good, but I didn't want to lie to him because I know I'm not good. So I just said okay....tired.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

I hate lying to him and saying that's I'm okay and fine when he asks me if I'm okay, even tho I am not okay.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Sometimes I do it because I'm used to it and don't know how to tell him how I really feel and I don't want him to ask what's wrong, but from now on, I'm gonna stop lying about being okay