~the sea does not like to be restrained (Kavi's journal)~ Showing 19,251-19,300 of 20,355

[kavi ~he-him~]

i am....i wanna cry because happiness, i wanna cry because my friends are so sweet

[kavi ~he-him~]

i've been hurt so freaking badly

[kavi ~he-him~]

and i'm still not really used to having friends that truly care for me as much as i cared for them because most ppl tend to leave me easily

[kavi ~he-him~]

and it's hard when i've been hurt a lot for most of my life and there are some things that will probably never heal, like a scar, an emotional scar

[kavi ~he-him~]

but i think i will try to get used to this because i know i have ppl that truly care for me as much as i care for them

[kavi ~he-him~]

now i feel sad :(

[kavi ~he-him~]

idk why

[kavi ~he-him~]

i'm fine tho

[princess maggie]

aww alex :( i love you so so much and i care about you and it sucks that you've had to go through all that, but at least you can be thankful for how strong you are now because of it :)

[[deleted user]]

You do have us, understand that!

[Hallie]

Firstly, *hugs*! Secondly, I love Nico! He's my favourite! I'm so glad you chose his name! Thirdly, love you!

[kavi ~he-him~]

princess maggie wrote: "aww alex :( i love you so so much and i care about you and it sucks that you've had to go through all that, but at least you can be thankful for how strong you are now because of it :)"

i love you too Maggie!!!

[kavi ~he-him~]

Hallie wrote: "Firstly, *hugs*! Secondly, I love Nico! He's my favourite! I'm so glad you chose his name! Thirdly, love you!"

*hugs* i love you too hallie!!!

[kavi ~he-him~]

i have a habit of saying sorry too much

[kavi ~he-him~]

SHINE wrote: "I love your names, Alex."

thank you sis!!

[kavi ~he-him~]

is it bad i don't really like a name because of someone who hurt me really badly in the past, and because it brings back memories because it was the name of that person who hurt me?

[kavi ~he-him~]

i mean i think about the memories of the past a lot but just seeing that name, it's hard

[kavi ~he-him~]

i want to forget, i want to move on from the memories but it's hard because she hurt me so badly

[kavi ~he-him~]

i was 14 at the time btw, i'm 19 now

[kavi ~he-him~]

i was doing this for fun and and for some reason my deadname came up when i typed "my name is" https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DzT9N0SXc...

[kavi ~he-him~]

i feel sad

[kavi ~he-him~]

i'm fine tho

[kavi ~he-him~]

i tweeted i felt sad today and i asked ppl to reply or dm me pics of shadow of whales, or jeremy's dog, or anyone of palaye royale, asking alexandria, black veil brides, motionless in white, juliet simms, inna pitts, and the greatest showman, harry potter, percy jackson? and then shadow of whales just dmed me with a pic and telling me to feel better

[kavi ~he-him~]

oml i love them so much

[kavi ~he-him~]

Alex loves Palaye Royale ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Shadow of Whales) (Bvbarmy) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "i tweeted i felt sad today and i asked ppl to reply or dm me pics of shadow of whales, or jeremy's dog, or anyone of palaye royale, asking alexandria, black veil brides, motionless in white, juliet..."

also i've been getting into the band motionless in white

[kavi ~he-him~]

i think i feel better now

[kavi ~he-him~]

idk

[kavi ~he-him~]

Person: how are you?
My mind: I'm sad
Me: i'm okay wbu or I'm good wbu

[kavi ~he-him~]

nvm i'm still sad

[kavi ~he-him~]

i need to stop jumping to saying "good" or "okay" when ppl ask me "how are you?" especially when i know i am not okay

[kavi ~he-him~]

and i'm not okay rn i am sad and down

[kavi ~he-him~]

now i have so much work to do....so i'm not only sad, i am tired and stressed and ugh

[kavi ~he-him~]

and i think my depression is kicking in again

[kavi ~he-him~]

ugh

[kavi ~he-him~]

i was doing really good and i've been really happy and stuff but now i just...

[kavi ~he-him~]

feel so sad and tired and down and stressed

[kavi ~he-him~]

valentine's day stuff be everywhere

[kavi ~he-him~]

i hate valentine's day with a passion

[kavi ~he-him~]

but happy valentine's day everyone

[kavi ~he-him~]

i wonder what Alex Fierro and Nico Di Angelo would say or do if they were real and they found out i named myself after them

[kavi ~he-him~]

and yep i named myself after fictional characters, but idc because i love them so much.

[kavi ~he-him~]

they are not just fictional characters to me but i love them

[kavi ~he-him~]

a reminder that my name is alex and my pronouns are they/them

[kavi ~he-him~]

and i am too scared to correct ppl when they misgender me

[kavi ~he-him~]

why do i keep thinking i annoy ppl when i probably don't?

[kavi ~he-him~]

i hate anxiety, and i hate depression

[kavi ~he-him~]

i hate them both so much

[kavi ~he-him~]

i want them to go away and leave me alone

[kavi ~he-him~]

idk how to react when ppl compliment me and call me cute

[kavi ~he-him~]

i mean i don't mind compliments but i don't think i am cute