~the sea does not like to be restrained (Kavi's journal)~ Showing 18,201-18,250 of 20,355

[kavi ~he-him~]

I mean I've had guy crushes before Jon, but tbh idek why I had crushes on them.

[kavi ~he-him~]

tbh I wasn't even allowed to date at that time and I dated Jon at the time when I wasn't allowed to date. my parents are neutral about me dating now. tho idk how they'd feel if I ended up with a girl

[kavi ~he-him~]

Valentine Ransom "Jeff the Killer" ~Phantom of the Library~ ~Mr Flirt~ ~baby Val~ ~FREAK~ ~Little Miss Political Agenda~ wrote: "Then only Jon. He should feel special. XD"

XD

[kavi ~he-him~]

I guess it depends on the person and their personality. I want a person that is kind and nice and sweet and caring and is always there for me and a person that would love me as much as I love them, won't let me be the only one that puts effort and won't leave me or hurt me. And irl I don't trust a lot of the guys that went to my school, I mean the guys at the school aren't that bad but they are kind of annoying and I don't trust them well most of the guys I met and that were in my classes were.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Jon was one of the really sweet and kind guys and he was one of the few ppl that actually cared and he never hurt me like my other friends did. he's my best friend.

[kavi ~he-him~]

also I'm the type of person that doesn't like to date anyone until I get to know them as a friend first

[kavi ~he-him~]

I don't like to rush into things

[kavi ~he-him~]

also I don't just want a nice and kind person but I kind of want a person that likes some of the same things I do, like the same music taste and same book series.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Valentine Ransom "Jeff the Killer" ~Phantom of the Library~ ~Mr Flirt~ ~baby Val~ ~FREAK~ ~Little Miss Political Agenda~ wrote: "Then I hope you'll find a lovely girl! ;)"

Thank you!!!

[kavi ~he-him~]

Valentine Ransom "Jeff the Killer" ~Phantom of the Library~ ~Mr Flirt~ ~baby Val~ ~FREAK~ ~Little Miss Political Agenda~ wrote: "You weren't allowed to date?"

I wasn't allowed to date until I was 18 or 21 but then I dated Jon and I told my parents about it, and after a while I think they are neutral about dating

[kavi ~he-him~]

oh yeah, yesterday I went to a bakery and they had a rainbow cake

[kavi ~he-him~]

I wish I'd gotten it

[[deleted user]]

My sister made me a rainbow cake for my birthday. I felt loved. :)

[kavi ~he-him~]

also this morning after I woke up from my dream I started thinking:

is this a sign or something? because two days in a row Jon came in my dreams and said he was taken and I started thinking about girls.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Regina wrote: "My sister made me a rainbow cake for my birthday. I felt loved. :)"

OMFG LUCKY

[kavi ~he-him~]

I want a rainbow cake but my parents don't really like me eating food with artificial colors and flavors.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm not allergic to artificial colors and flavors, because I've eaten them before.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I wonder if I can make a rainbow cake without using artificial colors.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Valentine Ransom "Jeff the Killer" ~Phantom of the Library~ ~Mr Flirt~ ~baby Val~ ~FREAK~ ~Little Miss Political Agenda~ wrote: "That's so sweet of her! I've never made or had one. That sounds like parents."

same!!

[[deleted user]]

She only used like 3 drops of food coloring per color. So that's like... 18 drops. And the cake itself was all homemade. Nothing artificially flavored lol

[kavi ~he-him~]

also I felt proud when I saw the rainbow cake

[kavi ~he-him~]

wait, I found a site that has a recipe for a rainbow cake without using artificial colors

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm going to try this later

[kavi ~he-him~]

thanks I'm making a chocolate cake on Thursday

[kavi ~he-him~]

I just did another digital art

[kavi ~he-him~]

so, my birthday is this week on Friday and today is JD's birthday

[kavi ~he-him~]

okay I'm not going to lie, yes I still love Jonathan, yes there is still a part of me that still loves him, and he is always on my mind. And I can't get him off

[kavi ~he-him~]

like I should be moving on. but I can't. I've tried so many times but I can't

[kavi ~he-him~]

but the thing is, I haven't seen him or texted him in a year because I am a chicken and I ran away

[kavi ~he-him~]

I ran away because I felt like I was bothering and annoying him and I didn't want to bother him.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I should've told him a long time ago.

[kavi ~he-him~]

even now I guess I still have some feelings for him, maybe it's because he is my best friend and he is my first love

[kavi ~he-him~]

I feel like I shouldn't have feelings for him because I feel like I don't deserve him. I ran away I don't deserve him

[kavi ~he-him~]

I should've texted him a long time ago. I should've told him the truth, but I kept chickening out, I was scared.

[kavi ~he-him~]

ugh love is complicated

[kavi ~he-him~]

I should've texted him a long time ago and we could've still been in touch we could've still be hanging out

[kavi ~he-him~]

it's my fault things are like this, it's my fault we haven't been talking, it's my fault we haven't spoken to each other in year

[kavi ~he-him~]

I mean I've commented on some of his posts a few times and he replied to me but that's it

[kavi ~he-him~]

and he accepted my friend request on Facebook, on a different account tho

[kavi ~he-him~]

and also I changed, I'm not the same person I was back then

[kavi ~he-him~]

I found out I was pan/ace in September, after I turned 18 last year which was after we stopped talking

[kavi ~he-him~]

I should text him but I'm scared to

[kavi ~he-him~]

Shadow of Alex ~4 more days~ ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Shadow of Whales) (Bvbarmy) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "I found out I was pan/ace in September, after I turned 18 last year which was after we stopped talking"

and I also go by Alex now

[kavi ~he-him~]

I made a new account for Facebook this year because I go by Alex now and my other account uses my dead name, and I can't change it because a lot of my family members are friends with me on that account, and Idk how to tell them I want to go by Alex or I want to be referred to as they/them pronouns, because I am afraid and idk what they would say so I made a new account on this account I feel like I can be me, and use my correct pronouns and my preferred name

[kavi ~he-him~]

I feel like I should ask sow for some advice but I am scared and I don't want to be a burden to them

[kavi ~he-him~]

also guys I forgot to mention

[kavi ~he-him~]

so lately I'd been reading the city of lost souls in the mortal instruments series and

spoiler warning: don't look at the spoiler unless you've read the the city of lost souls

(view spoiler)[ last night I was reading this book and I got to a part and the characters were talking about gay. because one of the characters, Alec is gay and the other, Magnus is bi and the gay character, Alec mentioned that his dad asked him what turned him gay and Simon, one of the charactered mentioned, "so a gay spider didn't bite you?" (hide spoiler)]

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm bored so I am going to spam this thread with things from Pinterest

[kavi ~he-him~]

I made pasta and I think I made it spicy

[[deleted user]]

I accidentally do that a lot lmao