~the sea does not like to be restrained (Kavi's journal)~ Showing 17,401-17,450 of 20,355

[kavi ~he-him~]

I know I smiled my real smile the day when I met SOW. but tbh I don't if it IS my real smile or not

[kavi ~he-him~]

mainly because I haven't smiled it in a really long time, I smiled my fake smile tho

[kavi ~he-him~]

until the day I met SOW. that day, I was thinking depressing thoughts for a little bit but I was trying not to but it was one of the happiest moments in my life.

[kavi ~he-him~]

SOW are such sweethearts. they are so kind and nice and AHH I LOVE THEM

[kavi ~he-him~]

but I don't think my real smile lasted long

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm not used to smiling it

[kavi ~he-him~]

I mean, I've had moments when I felt happy but still

[kavi ~he-him~]

my depression and anxiety is still here

[edge]

*hugs*

[kavi ~he-him~]

*hugs*

[kavi ~he-him~]

I keep thinking about the bad memories. like I want to stop thinking about them and I just want to move on but really it's hard.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I don't think I can truly move on and just forget all the memories.

[kavi ~he-him~]

the memories just there haunting me.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I wonder if I should write a new song

[kavi ~he-him~]

I think it's time to write a new song

[kavi ~he-him~]

this time a song for my solo stuff

[kavi ~he-him~]

today, I suggested to my band that in the future when we can all save up lot of money, or whenever we can we should all move to one area and just live together

[kavi ~he-him~]

was feeling a bit better and now I feel sad again

[kavi ~he-him~]

I have bad habit of subconsciously making myself sad again after feeling a bit better

[kavi ~he-him~]

YES ME AND MY GUITARIST AND DRUMMER ARE MOVING IN TOGETHER IN THE FUTURE

[kavi ~he-him~]

we just need my bassist to confirm

[kavi ~he-him~]

I love how me and all my bandmates except for my bassist are so close to each other

[kavi ~he-him~]

like I share a birthday with my drummer and my guitarist's birthday is 2 days after ours

[kavi ~he-him~]

idk when my bassist's birthday is

[kavi ~he-him~]

and I feel sad again

[kavi ~he-him~]

what do you guys hear? Laurel or Yanny?

[jay, rip]

Shadow of Alex ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Shadow of Whales) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "what do you guys hear? Laurel or Yanny?"

yanny. I don’t know how people hear laurel, it’s so clearly saying yanny 😭😭

[Hallie]

I hear Laurel! 😕

[kavi ~he-him~]

jay wrote: "Shadow of Alex ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Shadow of Whales) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "what do you guys hear? Laurel or Yanny?"

yanny. I don’t know how p..."

I HEARD LAUREL!!!!

[kavi ~he-him~]

Hallie wrote: "I hear Laurel! 😕"

SAME

[kavi ~he-him~]

Valentine Ransom "Jeff the Killer" ~Phantom of the Library~ ~Mr Flirt~ ~ZomV~ ~baby Val~ ~FREAK~ wrote: "Alex, I'm sorry the world sucks. *hugs*"

*hugs* it's okay

[kavi ~he-him~]

seriously hate my mind sometimes

[kavi ~he-him~]

my mind keeps being evil

[kavi ~he-him~]

I always try to be there for the ones I love, I am supportive of the ones I love and my fav bands. I care for all my fav bands and all the ppl I love. Yet I keep considering myself as selfish??? well my mind does

[kavi ~he-him~]

I was trying to promote my band page on my time on Facebook and asking ppl to go like my band page. And then I started thinking of myself as selfish

[kavi ~he-him~]

I asked my fav band, forts like vana if I can call them my big brothers

[kavi ~he-him~]

I also asked my other fav band Mcallister if I can call them my big brothers

[kavi ~he-him~]

I did the same with Jason and Jarrett from my fav band offended by everything

[kavi ~he-him~]

I asked SOW if I can call them my big brothers, on the day I met them, that was before I met them in person, They said yes

[kavi ~he-him~]

XD Jarrett replied to me saying that they are more like dads

[kavi ~he-him~]

so I guess I will call them dads then

[kavi ~he-him~]

so I guess I have 3 dads on twitter and Insta?

[kavi ~he-him~]

and 2 moms

[kavi ~he-him~]

Sarah, JD's gf is the mother of the SOW fandom

[kavi ~he-him~]

and I call Inna mom and Jake dad

[kavi ~he-him~]

YES GRYFFINDOR IS IN FIRST PLACE!!!!!

[kavi ~he-him~]

YESSS THAT'S MY HOUSE

[kavi ~he-him~]

OML I AM #2 IN THE LEADERBOARD IN THE HARRY POTTER GAME

[kavi ~he-him~]

Oml

[kavi ~he-him~]

in a couple of years, I'M GONNA BE LIVING WITH MY BANDMATES