~the sea does not like to be restrained (Kavi's journal)~ Showing 16,951-17,000 of 20,355

[kavi ~he-him~]

but....I feel so sad....and tired....and broken....and I just....I want to sleep....

[kavi ~he-him~]

I don't feel up to doing much at the moment....

[kavi ~he-him~]

maybe tomorrow I will be but idk....I've fallen deep....

[kavi ~he-him~]

I hate my mind rn....I want my mind to leave me alone......

[kavi ~he-him~]

I want to talk to someone about my feelings....I want to tell someone everything....I want to trust someone....but I don't want to burden them....

[kavi ~he-him~]

also....I'm scared of trusting ppl....

[kavi ~he-him~]

I trust some ppl....but....I don't want to trust too many people....I don't want to trust ppl that easily anymore.....I don't want to get hurt....

[kavi ~he-him~]

I just....want to finish this year....

[kavi ~he-him~]

Lillian wrote: "Alex ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "I want to talk to someone about my feelings....I want to tell someone everyone....I want to trus..."

SHINE wrote: "You can talk to me. You’re not a burden."

Thanks

[kavi ~he-him~]

I love you too Lily *hugs* <3

[kavi ~he-him~]

how does SOW always manage to cheer me up and make me smile

[kavi ~he-him~]

I love them so much seriously what would I do with out them

[kavi ~he-him~]

they told me they were glad to have me as a fan

[kavi ~he-him~]

\\\Shadow of Alex\\\ SOW #8
You guys are just so amazing and so sweet and kind and nice and I just really love you all


\\\Shadow of Alex\\\ SOW #8
seriously tho you guys are one of the most sweetest and kindest guys there is


\\\Shadow of Whales\\\
Thank you so much! So glad to have you as a fan

Mar 30
Thank you!! And I am so happy I found you guys. And I am so happy we met and you guys are the best friends anyone could ever ask for and you guys are like the brothers I never knew I had

\\\Shadow of Alex\\\ SOW #8
I think our parents are secretly hiding something because I think we really are siblings ❤️❤️❤️


\\\Shadow of Alex\\\ SOW #8
Your music is so amazing and inspiring. You are so wise and inspiration. I love you


GOOD LUCK AND I HOPE YOU GUYS WIN!!! I AM ROOTING FOR YOU GUYS AND I BELIEVE IN YOU

\\\Shadow of Alex\\\ SOW #8
I BELIEVE IN YOU ALL


\\\Shadow of Alex\\\ SOW #8
We all believe in you guys and I’ve got your backs and I am here to support you all


I’m here to love and support you guys always!!! ❤️❤️❤️

\\\Shadow of Alex\\\ SOW #8
I’m never going to stop loving and supporting you guys!! I will always love you guys no matter what and I am always going to be by your side, supporting you guys ❤️❤️❤️❤️


\\\Shadow of Whales\\\
Thank you so much for all of your love and support! It means a lot to us :)

Mar 31

[kavi ~he-him~]

our messages

[kavi ~he-him~]

I am going to sleep now and maybe cry myself to sleep or something idk

[Hallie]

*hugs Alex* I love you 💖

[kavi ~he-him~]

Hallie wrote: "*hugs Alex* I love you 💖"

*hugs* I love you too <33333

[kavi ~he-him~]

I want to scream

[kavi ~he-him~]

(view spoiler)[ the urge is back guys.... (hide spoiler)]

[Hallie]

*removes all sharp objects and brings SOW to Alex*

[kavi ~he-him~]

I want SOW

[kavi ~he-him~]

I want to talk to SOW but I don't want to burden them

[kavi ~he-him~]

(view spoiler)[ I don't want to....I don't want to anything.....I don't want to deal with the pain.....I don't want to deal with depression anymore....but I'm trying to fight it.... (hide spoiler)]

[kavi ~he-him~]

I wish SOW was here.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

so I can hug them and cry and I want to be held

[kavi ~he-him~]

so funny story

[kavi ~he-him~]

I recently made a new Facebook account under the Alex Reincarnated, which is my stage name

[kavi ~he-him~]

I would've kept my other Facebook account and changed the name but a lot of my family members are friends with me on there and I'm not out

[kavi ~he-him~]

so I still go by Kavya irl

[kavi ~he-him~]

so I made a new email address and a new Facebook account under the name Alex Reincarnated

[kavi ~he-him~]

and my mom said that she saw I had a friend named Alex Reincarnated, (on my Kavya account) but she doesn't know that person is me XD

[kavi ~he-him~]

she also thought I took the TPR logo from there because I have the TPR logo as my profile pic on the Alex account

[kavi ~he-him~]

in reality

THAT TPR LOGO WAS MADE MY ME

the header was made by ME

[kavi ~he-him~]

Alex Reincarnated is ME and MY stage name

[kavi ~he-him~]

this band was created by ME

the name was created by ME

[kavi ~he-him~]

I am 100 % dedicated to my band. I love my band, I love my bandmates. I love the songs that I written

[kavi ~he-him~]

I don't want to be bragging but I don't have a lot of self-confidence.

[kavi ~he-him~]

like my self-esteem is low

[kavi ~he-him~]

but I actually like the songs I wrote. I love singing. even if my songs and my singing isn't as good as others but I love singing

[kavi ~he-him~]

we might start making music in June when summer starts. my summer break starts in may because I'm in college. but the other's probably starts in June

[kavi ~he-him~]

in the meantime I can get the hang of pro tools and work on band stuff

[kavi ~he-him~]

I just have to survive life until then....

[kavi ~he-him~]

guys, idk how I really feel and I don't know how to explain this feeling

[kavi ~he-him~]

like, I'm not happy, but I don't feel sad anymore....

[kavi ~he-him~]

like I feel so empty....

[kavi ~he-him~]

(view spoiler)[ guys, the urge is back again and it's too strong..... (hide spoiler)]

[kavi ~he-him~]

(view spoiler)[ I'm sorry.....I didn't want to do it....but I couldn't fight it....I found another pencil sharpener and I unscrewed the blade...I'm sorry guys....I'm not that strong.....I didn't want to do it.....but I just.... (hide spoiler)]

[kavi ~he-him~]

*cries* I want SOW I need SOW I need their hugs

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm just not doing too well rn.....