~the sea does not like to be restrained (Kavi's journal)~ Showing 16,751-16,800 of 20,355

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm gonna tell them everything now

[kavi ~he-him~]

Sow made me smile my real smile and I rarely smile my real smile

[kavi ~he-him~]

I thought my real smile was gone because it was hidden underneath my pain and it's been so long since I smiled it, but SOW made me smile my real smile

[kavi ~he-him~]

literally I smiled so much my cheeks were hurting


I love them

[kavi ~he-him~]

SOW also chased my worries away so now I'm no longer afraid that I'll accidentally push them away, or scare them away, or make them leave.

[kavi ~he-him~]

and I no longer feel like I annoy SOW

[kavi ~he-him~]

because they told me that I don't annoy them

[kavi ~he-him~]

talking to SOW the other night, helped me a lot.

[kavi ~he-him~]

what would I do without SOW

[kavi ~he-him~]

WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE SOW???

[kavi ~he-him~]

THEY ARE JUST SO AMAZING AND SWEET AHHHH I LOVE THEM

[kavi ~he-him~]

THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY AND I JUST

[kavi ~he-him~]

so, I haven't showed you guys my potato song yet

[kavi ~he-him~]

I am a potato.
We are all secretly potatoes.
My best friend, is the queen of potatoes.
If there is any haters,
I will throw the potatoes at them.
Do not mess with me
Or my friend or
You will get potatoes
Thrown at you
You all better watch out.
Because we are potatoes.
And I am best friends with
The Shadow of potatoes.
The shadow of potatoes
are one of the best
Bands in the world
I love shadow of potatoes
With all my heart
We all do.
Because we are all
Secretly potatoes.
Emerson you better watch out
Because the potatoes are going to
Get revenge on you
Because you killed our brothers.

[Erin]

Alex ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "I am a potato.
We are all secretly potatoes.
My best friend, is the queen of potatoes.
If there is any haters,
I will throw the potatoes at them.
Do not mess with me
Or my friend or
You will get po..."

Ahhh I love it!! :D

[kavi ~he-him~]

Lillian wrote: "Alex ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "I am a potato.
We are all secretly potatoes.
My best friend, is the queen of potatoes.
If there ..."

Erin wrote: "Alex ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "I am a potato.
We are all secretly potatoes.
My best friend, is the queen of potatoes.
If there ..."

THANK YOU XD

[kavi ~he-him~]

basically I was in the mood to write a song that night and I didn't know what to write about so someone on twitter said to write a song about potatoes, and I asked SOW if I should write a song about potatoes and they said yes

[Hallie]

Alex ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "I am a potato.
We are all secretly potatoes.
My best friend, is the queen of potatoes.
If there is any haters,
I will throw the potatoes at them.
Do not mess with me
Or my friend or
You will get po..."

LOL xD

[kavi ~he-him~]

Hallie wrote: "Alex ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "I am a potato.
We are all secretly potatoes.
My best friend, is the queen of potatoes.
If there ..."

XD

[butterbean]

Alex ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "I am a potato.
We are all secretly potatoes.
My best friend, is the queen of potatoes.
If there is any haters,
I will throw the potatoes at them.
Do not mess with me
Or my friend or
You will get po..."

I'm a potato? I Love It!

[kavi ~he-him~]

so, I threw away my blade today


(view spoiler)[ months ago, I had the urge to self-harm and I....couldn't fight it, and I took a pencil sharpener, and I unscrewed the blade from the sharpener and I....didn't want to, but I couldn't fight it, but I didn't do anything, I almost did but I didn't and I haven't done anything in months, but I haven't thrown the blade away yet, but today I found the blade, and I threw it away (hide spoiler)]

I don't need it, I have ppl that truly love and care for me now, I have music I have SOW, I have ppl I love, and I don't need it. Yeah I still struggle with Depression and Anxiety, but I'm not going to do anything bad, I turn to music and healthy ways to help now

[kavi ~he-him~]

*hugs*

[kavi ~he-him~]

SOW LIKED MY SINGING

[kavi ~he-him~]

I sang runaway and I sent the video of me singing to SOW and THEY LIKED IT

[kavi ~he-him~]

PPL ACTUALLY LIKE MY SINGING

[kavi ~he-him~]

what if I sing live in front of SOW

[kavi ~he-him~]

I kind of want to sing in front of them, live but idk

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm scared and shy

[kavi ~he-him~]

but I love singing

[kavi ~he-him~]

I WANT TO SING LIVE IN FRONT OF SOW

[kavi ~he-him~]

funny story guys

the other day, someone dmed me on twitter saying this

adam James cribb
Hi Alex how is your day today and have you got a boyfriend and do you life in Australia love from Adam

[kavi ~he-him~]

And I just sent him this

My day is great

And yes I have a bf


This is my bf

alex loves SOW #8
And no I live in potatoland

[kavi ~he-him~]

Alex ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "And I just sent him this

My day is great

And yes I have a bf


This is my bf

alex loves SOW #8
And no I live in potatoland"

basically I sent him a pic of a potato, saying that the potato is my bf

[kavi ~he-him~]

Waiting by Shadow of Whales reminds me of the times in my life when I felt so unwanted and alone and like I didn't belong....but then I found some of my friends irl and I found my friends on twitter and Insta and GR, and I found SOW and now I know I have real friends that actually care and love me.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I remember during the times I felt so alone....and unwanted....

[kavi ~he-him~]

I wanted to move so badly because I felt so unwanted....and like I didn't belong here.....but then I also had the thought that even if I did move things would still be the same....

[kavi ~he-him~]

and no one, not even my own parents and brother understood how I felt....no one understood the pain i felt cause I'd been hurt so much.....at school I've cried a couple of times, but no one noticed....no one cared if I was sad....no one noticed if I left....literally I could just leave without saying anything and no one would notice. I was like that one person that got left out so easily and no one noticed how I felt, yeah, I've tried, I've tried to be ppl's friends I tried hard to be their friends but trying wasn't good enough for me so I just stopped trying because no matter how hard I tried it wasn't good enough for ppl, so I just stopped trying to be ppl's friend.

[kavi ~he-him~]

but now....


I found ppl that truly love and care for me. SOW cares for me to

[kavi ~he-him~]

Sow has helped me so much in just a couple of weeks that I've known them

[kavi ~he-him~]

they are the one of the few bands that actually talk to me a lot, they recognized me when we met, they hugged me, they've been there so many times, they helped me so much,

[kavi ~he-him~]

they're the first band I ever met, and they make me so happy and they always make me smile, no matter if I'm sad or having a bad day or not.

[kavi ~he-him~]

they are also my best friends and brothers

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm just waiting for the day when I get to meet SOW again

[kavi ~he-him~]

because I miss them, and I want to see my best friends again

[kavi ~he-him~]

I wonder what it'd be like if me and Josh sang together

[kavi ~he-him~]

I am so happy that I found SOW. I am so happy that I am a fan of them

[kavi ~he-him~]

I think I'm going to start telling SOW everything now

[kavi ~he-him~]

\\\Shadow of Alex\\\ SOW #8
Hey Jeremy


\\\Shadow of Alex\\\ SOW #8
do you....ever feel like other ppl are more talented then you are? because I feel like that rn.....


\\\Shadow of Alex\\\ SOW #8
every time I see other ppl's art, singing, lyrics, other stuff....I feel like I can't compare my stuff with their's because I feel like their stuff is much better than mine, while mine isn't as good....I think I'm a good singer but I don't think I'm as good as my fav singers, and it's the same with my songwriting, I write all my songs based off my thoughts and feelings, but I see other's lyrics and I just feel like I'm not as good....


\\\Shadow of Whales\\\
i feel like that all the time

6h 6 hours ago
\\\Shadow of Whales\\\
think that's pretty normal... best thing you can do is look at what they're doing that you're not and improve as much as you can.

The way your idols got to where they are is by practice and experience.

6h 6 hours ago
\\\Shadow of Whales\\\
all of us in SoW for instance (not that we are saying we're idols by any means haha) have been playing music and singing in our own way with breaks because life here and there for 10-15 years.

Brendon Urie gotta be going on 20-30 years now

the guys in BVB and PR probably about the same.

It takes a really long time to get THAT good at ANYTHING. No talent is formed quickly.

6h 6 hours ago
\\\Shadow of Whales\\\
you're always going to be your biggest critic, try to do that objectively though. When you film yourself singing, try to recognize where you might have been off pitch, whether or not you're using good technique and pronunciation, etc. If you don't know what good technique is or how to enunciate, find a youtube video or singing coach that can teach you.

Take it ONE DAY AT A TIME and don't try to rush it or get ahead of yourself. That's when you start to get discouraged. Be content and happy with where your at but hungry for the next step

6h 6 hours ago
\\\Shadow of Alex\\\ SOW #8
Thank you Jeremy ❤️

[kavi ~he-him~]

our dms last night

[kavi ~he-him~]

talking to SOW always helps me