~the sea does not like to be restrained (Kavi's journal)~ Showing 16,201-16,250 of 20,355

[kavi ~he-him~]

my head hurts

[kavi ~he-him~]

*sighs* me and my depressing thoughts

[kavi ~he-him~]

I was doing fine earlier today and now I just....

[kavi ~he-him~]

I hate that I could be doing fine in one moment and then in the next my depression will kick in and stuff

[kavi ~he-him~]

I want it to go away and never come back

[kavi ~he-him~]

I want my anxiety to go as well

[kavi ~he-him~]

guys I tend to break if I'm under too much stress or pressure and I don't do well

[kavi ~he-him~]

I wish depression and stress and anxiety will go away

[kavi ~he-him~]

I want all my insecurities to go too

[kavi ~he-him~]

guys confession time

[kavi ~he-him~]

when that person on Insta dmed me calling me ugly, I....kind of believed them....I would've said that I know that, but I didn't want to bring them any satisfaction of bringing me down

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm sorry guys but I can't help it

[kavi ~he-him~]

I can't see the positive stuff about me

[kavi ~he-him~]

the only thing I can be confident about myself in is my art and my songwriting and my singing

[kavi ~he-him~]

Valentine Ransom (call me Val) ~Phantom of the Library~ ~Mr Flirt~ ~Sunflower's marido~ wrote: "*hugs*

I was just feeling depressed, but I got over it."

*hugs*

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm just really self-conscious and insecure about myself

[kavi ~he-him~]

I've been struggling with depression for 4 years

[kavi ~he-him~]

I grew up being hated by so many ppl so idk how to love myself

[kavi ~he-him~]

I don't love myself and it's going to take me years to love myself

[kavi ~he-him~]

if Jonathan hadn't come into my life idk where I would've been

[kavi ~he-him~]

Valentine Ransom (call me Val) ~Phantom of the Library~ ~Mr Flirt~ ~Sunflower's marido~ wrote: "That's awful…

I love you Alex! *hugs*"

I love you too *hugs*

[kavi ~he-him~]

I miss my friend

[kavi ~he-him~]

guys, just because I'm happy doesn't mean, I'm not depressed, just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm okay. just because I say I'm good or I'm okay doesn't mean I'm okay

[kavi ~he-him~]

yeah I'll have a few moments when I'm feeling happy or moments when I'll be feeling fine, I'll have moments when I'll be feeling better then I was before

[kavi ~he-him~]

there are time when I'll be smiling or joking around or having fun with the ones I love but that doesn't mean I'm fully okay and stuff

[kavi ~he-him~]

Alex ~He/him~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "yeah I'll have a few moments when I'm feeling happy or moments when I'll be feeling fine, I'll have moments when I'll be feeling better then I was before"

but then I'll fall and stuff

[kavi ~he-him~]

I want my pain to go away
I want my depression to away
I want my anxiety to go away.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I don't want to suffer anymore I don't want to fight anymore. I'm tired of fighting.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I don't want to live in a constant fear of being scared of losing my loved ones or getting too close or attached to ppl anymore

[kavi ~he-him~]

But I don't want to give up, because I have to keep fighting because of the ones I love.

[kavi ~he-him~]

*hugs*

[kavi ~he-him~]

is it sad I like looking at depressing quotes when I'm depressed and they help me?

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm sorry for my negativity guys.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

I need to stop saying sorry but I just.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

Hii

[kavi ~he-him~]

I want to play the rhythm guitar

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm gonna get back to learning the guitar soon

[kavi ~he-him~]

I want to do both singing and playing guitar

[kavi ~he-him~]

I have an acoustic guitar I don't have a rhythm guitar yet but my dad said that if I learn the guitar I can get a new one

[kavi ~he-him~]

Ppl that can do both singing and playing another instrument are powerful

[kavi ~he-him~]

wait Rhythm and Lead guitar are basically the same instruments right?

[kavi ~he-him~]

how do you tell apart from them? like how can you tell if it's a lead guitar or a rhythm guitar idk

[kavi ~he-him~]

or would it depend on your role in the band

[kavi ~he-him~]

I have tiny fingers :(

[kavi ~he-him~]

it's hard to play the guitar with tiny fingers

[kavi ~he-him~]

I need a shoulder strap because it'll make it easier for me, but my guitar doesn't have a strap button

[kavi ~he-him~]

I was looking at electric guitars on amazon yesterday and just now and I just

[kavi ~he-him~]

ugh I miss him so much I miss Jon I want him I wanna be in his arms

[kavi ~he-him~]

I can't I need him

[kavi ~he-him~]

I wish teleportation was real so I could go anywhere I want to and I could visit my internet friends and my fav band members and I could be there for my friends and hug them