~the sea does not like to be restrained (Kavi's journal)~ Showing 101-150 of 20,355

[kavi ~he-him~]

闘争は本物です

[kavi ~he-him~]

Well I don't think I did good because I guessed on some
of the answers XD oh well I'm done with math for the year. Hoping I won't have to take it in college next year XD

[kavi ~he-him~]

After the math test I was so enveloped with my nose in my book that I didn't even notice that we could get our stuff, because we had to keep all of our stuff up front except for a book which I had with me at my desk until everyone is finished. But since I had my nose in my book I didn't notice that we could get our stuff until the bell rang XD

[kavi ~he-him~]

And then I look up and everyone has their stuff and phones except for me but I got them after the bell rang

[kavi ~he-him~]

Music my life savior, music my hero. I love you Music, I don't know what I'd ever do if you never existed. I would be a lost soul with no where to go, I'd be constantly drowning through life. Without you, life is nothing. I can't even go one day without listening to you. I love you Music. You have literally saved my life so many times.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Yas

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm having some wars against my own mind rn, my mind is like trying to bring me down and trying to overwhelme me with darkness by telling me negative things and stuff....but I'm just trying really hard not to give in to the darkness and trying to stand up, it's hard but I'm trying....

[kavi ~he-him~]

Somethings you should know about me....

[kavi ~he-him~]

I suffer from Depression, Anxiety, and I have difficulties making new friends, online it's easier, but irl it's hard. And irl I often try to put on a fake smile trying to mask my depression, and everything behind it. And I have trust issues. I use to trust ppl so easily, but I'd been hurt a lot, by ppl, and so now I have trust issues. I trust some ppl, tho, online, I trust some ppl, irl, I only trust two ppl, and that's my cousin, and Gameslayer. I'm still struggling to trust some of my other friends even tho I know that they are my true friends now, I'd realized that a few months ago, but I still have trust issues. I want to trust them I want to tell them about my problems and stuff, but I'm having trouble opening up to them about these stuff

[kavi ~he-him~]

I told them about my Insomnia, when I'd been having those sleepness nights, because of some difficulties sleeping but that's it. My insomnia is gone now....I think....I don't want to jinx myself....because there is a chance that my insomnia might return....I don't want it too tho....because I love sleeping....

[[deleted user]]

woooooooow....

[kavi ~he-him~]

And these days, I don't really smile as much as I used to. Because it takes a lot of effort for me to smile, even a fake smile takes a lot of effort. And I don't like putting on a fake smile, I don't like pretending that everything is okay, but I do it anyways....I don't smile as often as I used to....but when I do, it's my fake smile, and it's just there to hide everything, so ppl will know that I'm okay. Most ppl including my own parents are fooled by my fake smile so....

[kavi ~he-him~]

but when alone, that's when I start thinking, that's when I start drowning in my mind. And I'm alone a lot because I don't see my friends that much besides lunch. In all of my classes total, I only have 2 friends, 1 in my adv graphics design, which I don't talk to much, other than a hi, 1 in my science class, which I don't talk that often other than a hi. At home I don't say much either.

[Hallie]

*hugs Kavy tightly* I feel you!

[kavi ~he-him~]

*hugs Hallie tightly*

[kavi ~he-him~]

My parents keep trying to get me to talk to other ppl and they want me to be more social but it's hard because I have social anxiety and I'm an introvert and I'm extremely shy....and quiet...I'm like one of the most shyest and quietest ppl in the world....

[Hallie]

That's what my parents do, too, and honestly, I'd prefer being on my own.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Same I like being on my own sometimes but at the same time I don't like being alone all the time. I like being alone but I don't like being lonely. Everyone needs friends even if they are far away. I have way more friends online, than I do irl.

[kavi ~he-him~]

And something else.....

I'm also a pessimist. I used to be so happy and cheerful and optimistic but now I've changed and I'm not really that same person that I used to be anymore.....I'm a pessimist now....well on the outside I'm optimistic but on the inside I'm pessimistic, towards other ppl I'm optimistic but towards myself I'm pessimistic, I try to be optimistic but it's hard sometimes.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

Some days....it hard to even get out of bed, because I just want to stay there, but I force myself to get up anyways. I love food but sometimes I have to force myself to eat. Somedays it gets really hard for me and on those days, it gets so hard that I just want to give up, but instead I continue to go on, even tho it's hard to.

[kavi ~he-him~]

*sighs* what is wrong with this world?

[kavi ~he-him~]

Why does this world have to be so cruel?...

[kavi ~he-him~]

So many ppl are suffering and going through so much.

[kavi ~he-him~]

It's sad....when the war is in your own backyard, your own minds.

[[deleted user]]

that's what I'm asking ! I think we are just getting a taste of it *shakes head * it gets worse

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'd been fighting through my wars/battles through life, literally my entire life now

[sara]

Kavy (Bob) Jackson Fullbuster~daughter of Poseidon/Gryffindor~You fell so hard~ wrote: "It's sad....when the war is in your own backyard, your own minds."

yeah its devastating

[kavi ~he-him~]

Ikr Robyn.

[[deleted user]]

the question is : are we ready ? for anything ?
are we strong enough ? are we prepared ?

[kavi ~he-him~]

I think I just got an idea for a new song

[sara]

Robyn wrote: "the question is : are we ready ? for anything ?
are we strong enough ? are we prepared ?"

true

[[deleted user]]

we are teens who have it good ! but ! we need to start getting prepared for anything ,who knows whats next ..im not trying to sound depressed .....but its true :)

[kavi ~he-him~]

Sometimes I feel as if we're all living in a book or a tv show/movie

[kavi ~he-him~]

Robyn wrote: "we are teens who have it good ! but ! we need to start getting prepared for anything ,who knows whats next ..im not trying to sound depressed .....but its true :)"

That is true. But how do we get prepared for anything? We never know what's going to happen in the future. we never know what's going to happen tomorrow

[kavi ~he-him~]

And the truth is, everyone in this world is struggling, everyone has a mask on. We never really know who they really are behind their mask until we really get to know them. But there are some ppl out there that suffers way more. Some ppl suffer through pain, their whole life. I'm the nicest person, most ppl, who don't know my story, which is most ppl irl, would probably see me as a happy person who tells funny stories. But inside I'm not that happy person.

[[deleted user]]

Kavy (Bob) Jackson Fullbuster~daughter of Poseidon/Gryffindor~You fell so hard~ wrote: "Robyn wrote: "we are teens who have it good ! but ! we need to start getting prepared for anything ,who knows whats next ..im not trying to sound depressed .....but its true :)"

That is true. But ..."

exactly !!! so just be prepared for what come

[kavi ~he-him~]

Sometimes I think I'm getting better because I was feeling a little happy and smiling more than usual but then I fall again and everything hits and starts crashing down even harder than before

[[deleted user]]

you are right again !!!!!!!!

[[deleted user]]

Kavy (Bob) Jackson Fullbuster~daughter of Poseidon/Gryffindor~You fell so hard~ wrote: "And the truth is, everyone in this world is struggling, everyone has a mask on. We never really know who they really are behind their mask until we really get to know them. But there are some ppl..."

hurting ,laughing and death Is all a prat of life ,so be prepared

[kavi ~he-him~]

That is true. But in a way, I hate my emotional pain, I hate all the dark/negative things in life but in a way I feel like I'd learned somethings from them. I feel like everyone needs to feel pain at some point in there life, everyone needs to make mistakes, because otherwise we'd never learn from them, we'd never know what step we need to take. And the good part in all of this....I met you guys, I met a lot of really amazing ppl and I love you guys, I love you all

[kavi ~he-him~]

Don't you guys just love it when you're in some kind of mood or something and you're listening to music and the perfect song that fits your mood comes on?

[kavi ~he-him~]

is it weird that I feel really close to ppl I never met or ppl that don't exist and I call them my family XD?

[kavi ~he-him~]

so I have some questions....If I love a band or an artist, and am a fan of them, but I mostly just listen to their songs, and I never researched them or I don't know that much about them, besides their music/songs, would I still be a fan even if I don't know a lot of things about them besides their music/songs?

[kavi ~he-him~]

Geez I keep laughing at random times today

[kavi ~he-him~]

Bro I see your post and then I start laughing again XD

[kavi ~he-him~]

oh yeah bro, did you check the "send a gift" thread in the We are Unique group? I sent you a gift

[kavi ~he-him~]

Severus Albus Jackson wrote: "Hahahaha you're nuts XD"

And I started laughing again XDDDD I'm actually supposed to be studying rn so I'm just trying to keep a straight face on and hoping that my mom doesn't hear me laughing and doesn't come in and ask me why I'm laughing

[kavi ~he-him~]

https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...

it's the 3 to last post

[kavi ~he-him~]

Ughhh, I have my Government exam tomorrow, and my review for it is due tomorrow, the teacher said that I can either get an easy 100 or a 0 -_- and I can either fill out the whole thing and get a 100 for completion and accuracy, or get a 0 -_-

[kavi ~he-him~]

Government is one of the hardest subjects that I'm in, I literally failed almost like test except for a few. I didn't really want to take that class cause I wanted to make some room for another subject, which I was wanting to take. But unfortunately I have to take Government and I have to pass it to graduate from High School. And I also have to take Economics next semester which is also hard, and which I also have to pass -_- to graduate from High school -_- I was going to take to take both of those classes in the summer to get them over with so I can make room for another subject but I didn't....