~the sea does not like to be restrained (Kavi's journal)~ Showing 13,401-13,450 of 20,355

[Jaxon(Jax)[They-He]]

❄️Ƙανу тнє Ƒαℓℓєη Aηgєℓ❄️ (Ɓνвαяму) (Aelonian) (AA family) wrote: "People I love:

Jonathan
Akanksha (my cousin)
Meghna
Nerdy
Cas
Shine
Lys
Angel
Raven
Ahana
Hallie
Erin
Thelma
Lillian
Q
Edge
Delphi
Masi"

Yay I love feeling Loved :D

[kavi ~he-him~]

(view spoiler)[ I.....took a sharpener and took it to my room and I unscrewed the blade from it.....using the clip thing on one of my hair bows..... (hide spoiler)]

[kavi ~he-him~]

my suicidal thoughts are back....

[Jaxon(Jax)[They-He]]

❄️Ƙανу тнє Ƒαℓℓєη Aηgєℓ❄️ (Ɓνвαяму) (Aelonian) (AA family) wrote: "my suicidal thoughts are back...."

Kavy, don't please :( I'll cry if you do

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm not going to do it. I don't want to do it. I don't want to leave you guys because I love you guys so much. But I can't control my suicidal thoughts.

[kavi ~he-him~]

every time I fall it gets harder and harder to rise back up.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm not that strong

[kavi ~he-him~]

I don't want to pretend that everything is okay and I'm tired of all the fake smiles

[kavi ~he-him~]

because I'm not fully okay. Idk if I will be okay.

[Jaxon(Jax)[They-He]]

Hey, Kavy, you need to tell someone, get some help from an adult you trust or someone you trust. If you speak about your problem and let it all out you might feel better.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I don't know who to tell. My parents don't understand. And irl the only ppl I trust is Jonathan and Akanksha (my cousin). I'm slowly starting to trust two of my best friends, Alana and Annette, but they are in different colleges and I haven't seen Jonathan in 6 months. and Akanksha lives all the way in Virginia, and I don't want to talk to a therapist because I don't like the idea of talking to someone that only "cares" because it's their job

[kavi ~he-him~]

And I don't want to talk to someone I don't trust and I don't trust anyone that easily anymore. It takes a while for me to trust ppl now, because I don't want to get hurt again.

[kavi ~he-him~]

and I have no friends in college. the only other ppl I trust are my friends on GR and twitter and Insta.

[Jaxon(Jax)[They-He]]

Im planning on being a therapist but its harder to talk via text

[kavi ~he-him~]

and it's hard for me to talk about my feelings out loud to ppl irl, because I'm not very good at talking.

[kavi ~he-him~]

but it's more easier for me to write down my feelings, like in a journal or a song or a poetry

[kavi ~he-him~]

wait.....I think I have an idea for a new song.

[kavi ~he-him~]

idk

[kavi ~he-him~]

maybe I'll just write down my feelings in a song

[kavi ~he-him~]

I haven't written a song in a while

[kavi ~he-him~]

but I have work to do ugh

[kavi ~he-him~]

Hey guys should I write a Christmas song?

[Jaxon(Jax)[They-He]]

Go ahead Kavs

[kavi ~he-him~]

SHOKIE (Shine's back up account) wrote: "Sylveon-Raven- wrote: "❄️Ƙανу тнє Ƒαℓℓєη Aηgєℓ❄️ (Ɓνвαяму) (Aelonian) (AA family) wrote: "People I love:

Jonathan
Akanksha (my cousin)
Meghna
Nerdy
Cas
Shine
Lys
Angel
Raven
Ahana
Hallie
Erin
Thel..."

*squish hugs*

[kavi ~he-him~]

also I think I'm gonna start working on an album soon idk

[kavi ~he-him~]

I've written 10 songs so far but one of those songs won't be on the album

[kavi ~he-him~]

I think that song will be more of a single

[kavi ~he-him~]

the Christmas song will be a single too!!

[kavi ~he-him~]

so 9 of my songs that I've written will be in the album

[kavi ~he-him~]

and maybe the new song that I might write (not the Christmas song) will be in the album and then I'll need two more songs and then the album will be good.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm gonna start off solo, at least until I find band members

[kavi ~he-him~]

I still need to tune my songs tho

[kavi ~he-him~]

I think I might make a youtube channel to post my songs on there tho. idk

[Charlena]

You should make a Youtube Channel! You do not have anything to lose!!

[kavi ~he-him~]

I asked my mom if I can make a youtube channel the other day. She said yes but I have to show her the videos before I post it on youtube

[kavi ~he-him~]

-_- I am 18

[kavi ~he-him~]

what should I name the channel tho?

[Jaxon(Jax)[They-He]]

IDK :D Maybe you can be part of Cyber Productions lol, I don't know how we'd do a collab tho :D

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm probably going to work on the album in the winter break

[kavi ~he-him~]

idk

[kavi ~he-him~]

as for the videos of my songs should I make the video with me in the video or should I make a lyric video

[kavi ~he-him~]

but idk how to make lyric videos, I've never made one before.

[Jaxon(Jax)[They-He]]

Whatever you want to do Kavy

[kavi ~he-him~]

okay, I'll think I'm gonna try to make the lyric videos, because I'm too shy

[kavi ~he-him~]

is it possible to make lyric videos on photoshop?

[kavi ~he-him~]

well you can make animations on photoshop so.

[kavi ~he-him~]

maybe I'll use both photoshop and iMovie.

[kavi ~he-him~]

idk

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'll try

[kavi ~he-him~]

I think I'm going to start with wretched and divine first