~the sea does not like to be restrained (Kavi's journal)~ Showing 9,951-10,000 of 20,354

[kavi ~he-him~]

Don't get me wrong I do love Jonathan, I really do, he's the light in my life

[kavi ~he-him~]

But it's like before I meet him. I thought that no guy would want me. And when I met Jon, it's like everything changed. We became friends, I developed feelings for him, I fell in love, and look at us now, I've only known him for two years. TWO YEARS. and it's like, I can't live without him, I can't lose him, and I need him in my life

[kavi ~he-him~]

I don't wanna seem needy, but without Jon, it's like, you know

[kavi ~he-him~]

I love him so much

[kavi ~he-him~]

But it's scares me, because I trust Jonathan with my life, more than I trusted him before, and if he leaves me....it's gonna hurt a lot

[kavi ~he-him~]

But I know that Jonathan's not gonna leave me, and I know he cares for me. He showed me that he cared for me

[kavi ~he-him~]

Jonathan.....I miss him so much.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I wish he was here

[kavi ~he-him~]

I love his smile and his eyes

[kavi ~he-him~]

Is it bad I make up scenarios in my head about me and Jon and daydream about him a lot? Like I daydream about us being together and stuff

[kavi ~he-him~]

Ugh

[kavi ~he-him~]

It's been a year

[kavi ~he-him~]

How much longer do I have to wait? I'D BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG

[kavi ~he-him~]

Ever since the break up

[kavi ~he-him~]

I want Jon. I want him near me. I don't want to sound desperate or needy I am NOT desperate but I need Jon in my life. I can't stand being away from him.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Why is it so hard for me to just tell him that I love him or how I feel?

[kavi ~he-him~]

I don't wanna mess up again like I did last time I told him how I felt

[kavi ~he-him~]

Jonathan.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

I can't wait to get married to him

[kavi ~he-him~]

Lmao only 17 and already thinking about marriage and I already know the guy I want to marry

[kavi ~he-him~]

:( I want Jon

[kavi ~he-him~]

I need Jon

[kavi ~he-him~]

I keep saying these things XD

[kavi ~he-him~]

My cousin and her husband are now my new fav couple

[kavi ~he-him~]

But I get a little jealous cause I just wanna be with Jon, the one I love. I can't live without him. I need him in my life. The dreams with him in it are telling me something

[kavi ~he-him~]

I wanna tell Jon I love him so badly I wanna kiss him I wanna hug him and snuggle with him, I wanna feel the heat from his body the feelings I get when he holds me. I want him to hold me the way we did when we were together

[kavi ~he-him~]

He means so much to me, and he's my world

[kavi ~he-him~]

But I can't just tell him I love him. I don't wanna mess it up. And I'm afraid of losing Jon. I need to have more faith, which I'm trying to do cause I trust him

[kavi ~he-him~]

I need to wait for the right moment my twitter friend told me that the right moment will come but idk when it will come. But I have to wait ugh. Idk how much longer I can wait. I'D BEEN WAITING SINCE THE BREAKUP I'D BEEN IN LOVE WITH HIM FOR SO LONG. WHY DID WE HAVE TO BREAK UP?? I CAN'T HANDLE IT. I just wanna be with the one I love >.< I wanna be with him forever and never let him go. Why does reality have to be so cruel?

[kavi ~he-him~]

We've only dated for a month and already he means so much to me I fell in love with him before we dated tho

[kavi ~he-him~]

No matter what I do he is always there lingering in my mind. I can't get him off my mind no matter what I do I can't stop loving him. I love him

[kavi ~he-him~]

I love my new big bro

[kavi ~he-him~]

Aka my cousin's husband

[kavi ~he-him~]

Okay so I was gonna talk about this stuff later after I get back from Australia because I don't wanna start crying. Not a good time. But screw it I'm doing it now because I can't lose anymore ppl.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

R.I.P Chester Bennington. I love you. I love your music. Linkin park is one of my fav bands and we will miss you

[kavi ~he-him~]

Dear bullies/haters,

Back off, leave people alone. Stop bullying and hating on others. It's not cool trust me. Words hurts. Everyone is different. No one is perfect. We're all only human. So back off and leave everyone alone.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Dear people,

We love you. Suicide and self-harming isn't the answer, it's never the answer. I understand what it's like to be depressed and stuff, I'd been down that path before. I'm still struggling. Trust me I know what it's like. But I know that I have ppl that care for me so I think of them and I live for them. Pls, do what you love, and keep doing it. No matter what anyone says be you. ALWAYS be you. If you need anything, or anyone to talk to, I'm here. I'm not always that good at giving advices but I'm a really good listener. I will always be here for you. I love you guys. But pls, know that there will always be someone out there that will always care for you, even if they are far away. That person will suffer if you kill yourself. So pls don't do it. Suicide is NEVER the answer. There will be another way out. Trust me, patience is the key.

[kavi ~he-him~]

[kavi ~he-him~]

[kavi ~he-him~]

[kavi ~he-him~]

[kavi ~he-him~]

[kavi ~he-him~]

[kavi ~he-him~]

Guys is it weird I like talking to older people?

[kavi ~he-him~]

I want Jon

[kavi ~he-him~]

I wanna ask Jon if he wants to hang out sometime after I get back from Australia. I wanna see him so badly

[kavi ~he-him~]

I told my cousin's husband that, "my best friend and you would be best friends" and he was like, "aww, give me a hug" and he pulled me into a hug

[kavi ~he-him~]

Funny story: I accidentally called my cousin's husband, Jon yesterday whoops

[kavi ~he-him~]

So I'm sick rn

[kavi ~he-him~]

Everyone here is getting sick