~the sea does not like to be restrained (Kavi's journal)~ Showing 9,051-9,100 of 20,355

[kavi ~he-him~]

I don't call ppl that often

[kavi ~he-him~]

Jonathan was the first person I called

[kavi ~he-him~]

well first person in a really long time

[kavi ~he-him~]

the last person I talked to on the phone before Jon, was my best friend, Meytal

[kavi ~he-him~]

and that was years ago

[KingJohnny]

meytal lik metal? or is it lik may tal

[kavi ~he-him~]

its pronounced May tal. she moved away during middle school, we are still in touch tho

[KingJohnny]

oh ok lmao i thought it was metal

[kavi ~he-him~]

be waiting for my Jon to add me in discord like

[kavi ~he-him~]

I might want to talk to my Jon while Im in Austrailia, but the long distance thing

[KingJohnny]

daaaaammmmmn u goin 2 Austrailia?

[kavi ~he-him~]

also while playing that horror game at the arcade and when My Jon came because I was getting scared and calling his name, there was this monster on the screen and Jon saw it and I screamed a little and Jon left that booth XD

[kavi ~he-him~]

KingJohnny wrote: "daaaaammmmmn u goin 2 Austrailia?"

yep

[kavi ~he-him~]

after I finished the stage I was like nope Im out of here XD

[kavi ~he-him~]

that game was a little too intense

[kavi ~he-him~]

it kept haunting my head x.x

[kavi ~he-him~]

If I Were
Stolen from Hallie



If I were a month, I’d be: August or October
If I were a day of the week, I’d be: Friday
If I were a planet, I’d be: Pluto
If I were a sea animal, I’d be: Dolphin
If I were a god/goddess, I’d be: Poseidon, I am his daughter after all
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be: Bed
If I were a gemstone, I’d be: Moonstone
If I were a flower, I’d be: Lily
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be: Cloudy
If I were a colour, I’d be: Blue
If I were an emotion, I’d be: love
If I were a fruit, I’d be: Apple
If I were a sound, I’d be: The sound of music
If I were an element, I’d be: Water
If I were a place, I’d be: Hogwarts
If I were a mythological creature, I’d be: Phoenix
If I were a taste, I’d be: chocolate
If I were a scent, I’d be: Chocolate
If I were an object, I’d be: A book
If I were a body part, I’d be: Eyes
If I were a song, I’d be: Fallen Angels by bvb
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be: Converse
If I were anything but human, I’d be: A dog

[kavi ~he-him~]

Stolen from Blue
THE LAST:
1. Drink: water
2. Phone call: Jonathan
3. Text message: Jonathan
4. Song you listened to: Going under by Evanescence
5. Time you cried: idk
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: no not yet
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: yes
8. Been cheated on: no
9. Lost someone special: no
10. Been depressed: yes
11. Gotten drunk: no
LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:
12-14: Blue, Red, Black
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends: yes
16. Fallen out of love: no
17. Laughed until you cried: yes
18. Found out someone was talking about you: no
19. Met someone who changed you: yes
20. Found out who your friends were: yes
21. Kissed someone on your fb list: dont use fb much
GENERAL:
22. How many of your fb friends do you know irl: dont use fb much
23. Do you have any pets: no :(
24. Do you want to change your name: no
25. What did you do for your last birthday: nothing
26. What time did you wake up: 10:00
27: What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping
28. Name something you can’t wait for: meeting Andy
29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a few mins ago
30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: idk
31. What are you listening to rn: all around me by Flyleaf
32. Have you talked to a person named Tom: no
33. Something that is getting on your nerves: ppl and this world
34. Most viewed website: GR
35. Mole/s: Yes
36. Mark/s: i have something in my eye
37. Childhood dream: I don’t remember
38. Hair colour: black
39. Long or short hair: Long
40. Do you have a crush on someone: I’m in love with someone
41. What do you like about yourself: idk
42. Piercings: ear
43. Bloodtype: Idk
44. Nickname: Kavy, Kav, Kavs
45. Relationship status: idk
46. Zodiac: Leo
47. Pronouns: she/her
48. Favourite TV show: FAIRY TAIL
49. Tattoos: None but I want some
50. Right ot left hand: right
51. Surgery: my teeth
52. Piercing: ear
53. Sport: nothing
55. Vacation: Australia
56. Pair of trainers: idk
MORE GENERAL:
57. Eating: omelette
58. Drinking: water
59. I’m about to: write in my journal
61. Waiting for: Warped Tour
62. Want: Jonathan
63. Get married: I want to
64. Career: Graphics Design, Writing, Singing
WHICH IS BETTER ?
65. Hugs or kisses:. Both
66. Lips or eyes: eyes
67. Shorter or taller: shorter
68. Older or younger: youngwe
70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Nice arms
71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive
72. Hook-up or relationship: relationship
73. Troublemaker or hesitant: trouble maker
HAVE YOU EVER:
74. Kissed a stranger: no
75. Drank hard liquor: nope
76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no
77. Turned someone down: yes
78. Sex on the fist date: no
79. Broken someones heart: no
80. Had your heart broken: yes
81. Been arrested: nope
82. Cried when someone died: idk anyone
83. Fallen for a friend: yes Jonathan
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
84. Yourself: I wish
85. Miracles: maybe
86. Love at first sight: no
87. Santa Claus: maybe
88. Kiss on the first date: depends
89. Angels: maybe
OTHER:
90. Current best friends name: Jonathan, Alana, Akanksha, Meytal, etc
91. Eye colour: dark brown
92. Favourite movie: idk

[kavi ~he-him~]

Stolen from Blue

cherry turnover: who do you live with?
mom, dad, brother
bananas foster: do you believe in soulmates?
. yes
glazed donut: would you rather visit a zoo or an aquarium?
. Both
pumpkin pie: what were your interests as a child?
Art, Reading, I still love them
lemon tart: how many languages can you speak?
. english
. ASL
. A little bit of Japanese
chocolate mousse: how is your relationship with your parents?
. good

creme brûlée: describe your style
emo, tomboy
cheesecake: have you ever visited a sex shop?
.well I once visited Spencer's and saw a lot of disturbing things x.x
raspberry sorbet: favorite clothing stores?
Hot Topics
green tea ice cream: who was your first crush?
I’m not saying
chocolate chip cookie: how has your life changed over the past year?
I fell in love
berry trifle: first & last concert you went to?
Idk
tapioca pudding: favorite animated characters?
. GRAY FULLBUSTER MY HUSBAND
fudge brownie: do you like your name?
. yes
strawberry shortcake: are you good at keeping secrets?
. yes
tiramisu: are you daring or safe when it comes to makeup & clothing?
safe I dislike makeup
oreo milkshake: do you sleep a lot?
Yes
apple crisp: how do you relax?
. listen to music, read, watch anime, play video games
carrot cake: who is your celeb look alike?
. he has blue eyes, black hair and is tall and skinny
macaron: what is your ethnicity?
.Indian
cinnamon bun: favorite salty snack?
. pretzel

[kavi ~he-him~]

Nobody's Hero by Black Veil Brides

I'll die fighting,
Inside me there's a fire that burns
(whoa)
My life begins
And ends without the faith that we learn
(whoa)

Save me from the darkest places
Save me from myself

I'm a loaded gun
An only son
But I'm nobody's hero
I've come undone
I'm on the run
Yeah, I'm nobody's hero
Nobody's hero

To heal, your scars
I will give you everything I can
(whoa)
This war, of hearts
We will rise again and take a stand
(whoa)

I can lead you to salvation
Yet I am just a man

I'm a loaded gun,
An only son,
But I'm nobody's hero
I've come undone
I'm on the run
Yeah, I'm nobody's hero
Nobody's hero

(nobody's hero)

This martyr's cross gets too heavy to exist
(whoa)
And we feel the loss of the lives
I left to risk

(C'mon)

I'm a loaded gun
An only son
But I'm nobody's hero
I've come undone
I'm on the run
Yeah, I'm nobody's hero

I'm a loaded gun
An only son
And I'm nobody's hero
I've come undone
I'm on the run
Yeah, I'm nobody's hero
Nobody's hero

(nobody's hero)
I'm nobody's hero

[kavi ~he-him~]

ugh I have to take a placement exam to register for college x.x

[kavi ~he-him~]

community college


Im going to community college for a year before transfering to UTD (University of Texas at Dallas)


Jon is doing the same as me

[kavi ~he-him~]

Jon has been coming in my dreams a lot lately

[kavi ~he-him~]

like he comes in my dreams A LOT way more then anyone else

[kavi ~he-him~]

well he has been coming in my dreams since after we became friends and before I started developing a crush on him


thats how I found out I had a crush on Jon because of the dreams

[kavi ~he-him~]

how is it that ONE PERSON can be so important and have so much effect on you

[kavi ~he-him~]

Ive only known Jon for almost two years

[kavi ~he-him~]

and already he is one of the important roles in my life. he comes into my dreams WAY too often hes my best friend I know also my true love

[kavi ~he-him~]

but I feel like me and Jon are kind of binded to each other by love or some kind of force I feel like the world wants us to be together but it also is throwing obstacles at us

[kavi ~he-him~]

Id always believed in true love and I wanted love in my life, I wanted true love ever since I started reading the young adult books

[kavi ~he-him~]

but I never thought It would actually happen to me because

1. I wasnt allowed to date
2. I didnt think that any guy would love me like that
3. Im different
4. Im awkward
5. Im not the happy girl that most ppl see me as
6. Im quiet and shy
7. Im broken on the inside
8. Im not beautiful
9. Im not confident
10. I have a learning disability, and am in special ed
11. Im depressed
12. Im one of the invisible ones you know those ppl that dont get noticed much at school
13. I attract haters.
14. I have major trust issues

I could list many other things

[kavi ~he-him~]

and then I meet Jon and he chose me he fell in love with ME of all ppl >.> then again I think he felt the same way as me

that day when I told him I had a crush on him he was like, “you really have a crush on me. Me of all ppl“ I said yes

[kavi ~he-him~]

Jonathan he is an extrovert Im an introvert he has a lot of friends I dont have much friends but yet he picks me

[blue]

K A V Y A ;

beautiful dark hair, reading a book and getting lost in its pages. smiles and positivity. sketches in the margins of your notes. falling in love. telling someone how much you love them, laughing till you start crying. brightness everywhere, wanderlust. beautiful soothing sounds. cute silly selfies. a smile that can light up the world. scrolling through instagram liking photos, shining like a star.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I used to feel like I didnt belong here and I had difficulties fitting in and making friends, even with my old friend group back in elementary school they left me out a lot, and I was the third wheel and my old friends before that they werent that nice ._. my best friend Meytal was nice tho

[kavi ~he-him~]

I wanted to move to Virginia cause my cousin was there and she and I are like best friends and really close to each other

[blue]

blue wrote: "K A V Y A ;


beautiful dark hair, reading a book and getting lost in its pages. smiles and positivity. sketches in the margins of your notes. falling in love. telling someone how much you l..."

i wrote that about you lol

[kavi ~he-him~]

but then I meet Jon and its like, I found a reason to stay, I felt as if I belonged here now despite me being different cause he loves me for ME

[kavi ~he-him~]

Lillian wrote: "❄️Princess Kavy of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "I used to feel like I didnt belong here and I had difficulties fitting in and making friends, even with ..."

Yeah I was just about to write that XD

[kavi ~he-him~]

blue wrote: "K A V Y A ;


beautiful dark hair, reading a book and getting lost in its pages. smiles and positivity. sketches in the margins of your notes. falling in love. telling someone how much you l..."

Thank you Blue.....<3 that made me tear up a little and smile

[blue]

❄️Princess Kavy of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "blue wrote: "K A V Y A ;


beautiful dark hair, reading a book and getting lost in its pages. smiles and positivity. sketches in the margins of your notes. falling in love. telling someone how mu..."

<333

[kavi ~he-him~]

Lillian wrote: "❄️Princess Kavy of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "but then I meet Jon and its like, I found a reason to stay, I felt as if I belonged here now despite me ..."

have you talked to him?

[kavi ~he-him~]

in my school ppl dont care much there is not much bullying going on I havent been bullied well in elementary school I was bullied but now there isn much bullies and ppl just are doing their own things some ppl are nice but its like when I cry ppl dont notice me when Im sad they dont notice when Im in pain like physical pain cause I randomly feel pain in my body sometimes but sometimes Id felt them to the point where Im almost crying out but I didnt because of my pain tolerance but it was hard to sit still, and no one noticed. I dont want ppl to notice cause i dont want the attention and I dont want anyone to ask “whats wrong“ but at the same time I want someone to care and just be there, you know what I mean?

[kavi ~he-him~]

but Jon he cares for me so much he hasnt seen me crying but he‘d asked me if I was okay a lot and he noticed that I was sad once even tho I was trying to hide it

[kavi ~he-him~]

I have major trust issues

[kavi ~he-him~]

back when me and Jon were dating before that break up even before we started dating and were still friends I have to admit, I didnt have much trust and faith in him, I wanted to trust him but I kept expecting him to leave and stuff, and I was insecure and then after a while I started to have faith in him and I told him some of my secrets but then he broke up with me not because of my secrets but because he doesnt want to hurt me and some other reasons but he let the negative stuff come in the way of our relationship me and him both really loved each other but I dont think the trust and faith were that strong at that time idk

[kavi ~he-him~]

but then we became friends again

[kavi ~he-him~]

and at the beginning of senior year I was giving him some space cause I felt we need time apart and then I was trying to let him go, I failed with that part but he eventually came back to me HE came back to ME tho we are just friends rn well we are best friends but he hasnt left me he just stayed and he also knows Im awkward cause I told him

[kavi ~he-him~]

Lillian wrote: "❄️Princess Kavy of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "but Jon he cares for me so much he hasnt seen me crying but he‘d asked me if I was okay a lot and he not..."

same with Jon

[kavi ~he-him~]

and now I trust him and I feel me and Jon are much more closer than before and the love is stronger than before