~the sea does not like to be restrained (Kavi's journal)~ Showing 8,801-8,850 of 20,354

[kavi ~he-him~]

Jinxx is with Jake and CC from Bvb

[kavi ~he-him~]

I can't wait to see Jon

[kavi ~he-him~]

but what do I say

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm probably gonna eventually say I love you

[kavi ~he-him~]

I can't back down now because I already asked him and we'd already made the plans

[kavi ~he-him~]

but what if I mess up

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm so awkward

[kavi ~he-him~]

what am I doing

[kavi ~he-him~]

this is Jonathan we're talking about

[kavi ~he-him~]

my best friend, my world

[kavi ~he-him~]

he already knows I'm awkward cause I told him

[kavi ~he-him~]

I tell him a lot of stuff

[kavi ~he-him~]

when I'm with Jon, I can just randomly find things to talk about and I tell him almost everything well most things

[kavi ~he-him~]

but when it comes to saying "I love you" it's just hard....

[kavi ~he-him~]

I can tell him anything, but I can't say "I love you"

[kavi ~he-him~]

well I did say it in an Insta post but it was a best friend's post cause I tagged my other friends in it

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm not trying to say I love you in a friend's way,


I'm trying to say it in the ROMANTIC way because I love Jon more than friends

[kavi ~he-him~]

he is my best friend tho

[kavi ~he-him~]

I've told Jon I loved him when we were dating and before we started dating I told him I had a crush on him but that was before the break up

[kavi ~he-him~]

but why can't I tell him now?

[kavi ~he-him~]

but this is different because it's hard being away from Jon, even if we're still best friends

[kavi ~he-him~]

yes I know there are other guys

[kavi ~he-him~]

but Jon is like that ONE guy. you know that one guy that is hard to find


he is so kind and nice and sweet, he cared for me so much, he was the first person for a lot of things and he means a lot to me

[kavi ~he-him~]

he is my world my everything


one of the main thing that is keeping me alive

[kavi ~he-him~]

Jonathan kind of opened my eyes a little

[kavi ~he-him~]

fun fact:

There was a time in my life when I think I ALMOST went blind. idk for sure but I was little that time. I woke up during the night and I couldn't open my eyes for some reason, but I got lucky

[kavi ~he-him~]

I remembered that because I get flashbacks from my pasts sometimes

[kavi ~he-him~]

I hate my past

[kavi ~he-him~]

Lillian wrote: "huh."

Lillian wrote: "weird"

ikr

I guess it just happens sometimes

[kavi ~he-him~]

it's weird cause now I'm nearsighted and can barely see clearly without my glasses

[kavi ~he-him~]

my left eye is worse then my right eye

[kavi ~he-him~]

Lillian wrote: "❄️Princess Kavy of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "I hate my past"

Why do you hate your past? If you don't mind me asking."


some really bad memories. there were some good memories but more bad

[kavi ~he-him~]

tho sometimes I can be a little blinded to love like blinded to love from other ppl. but Jon opened my eyes a little because he SHOWED me he cared like REALLY cared, he's one of the few ppl at my school that REALLY cares for me and he hasn't gotten tired of me and hadn't left me, even when I was expecting him too. He called me beautiful once even tho I don't think I'm beautiful he loved me for ME he accepted he'd asked me if I was okay a lot

[kavi ~he-him~]

Lillian wrote: "❄️Princess Kavy of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "it's weird cause now I'm nearsighted and can barely see clearly without my glasses"

❄️Princess Kavy of ..."

if I don't wear my glasses for a long time and I look at the screen or the words my head starts to hurt unless I'm in the shower

[kavi ~he-him~]

I can't wear contacts until I'm 30 cause I have prism glasses


and I don't really want contacts because I like wearing glasses

[kavi ~he-him~]

glasses are easier to wear

[kavi ~he-him~]

with contacts, if you put them wrong then they'll start to hurt like crazy

[kavi ~he-him~]

jon wears glasses too

[kavi ~he-him~]

Dear ppl,


at some point in your life, you might meet a girl or a boy, who would accept you for You, and that person isn't like all the other ppl, and that person will love you for YOU, and will care for you deeply. When you meet someone like that, that person is your best friend, your true love, do NOT let that person go, EVER, no matter what happens, because you'll never know when you'll meet someone like that again

[kavi ~he-him~]

that's how I feel about Jon

[kavi ~he-him~]

there may be other guys

[kavi ~he-him~]

but I don't think anyone can love me the way Jon did or care for me the way Jon did and I don't think I can love anyone else the way I love Jon

[kavi ~he-him~]

this world is cruel it's hard to find the ppl that are really kind and supportive and caring and accepts you for the real you and not just your looks.

[kavi ~he-him~]

but I found some ppl like that on GR and in my anime club and I found Jon

[kavi ~he-him~]

I realize if I never got into anime I never would've went to anime club and then I would never have met Jon

[kavi ~he-him~]

thanks

[kavi ~he-him~]

anime club was fun tho, one of the only things in school that I looked forward too

[kavi ~he-him~]

anime= brought me and Jon together

[kavi ~he-him~]

I GET TO SEE JON TOMORROW YAY

[kavi ~he-him~]

the butterflies are here