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~the sea does not like to be restrained (Kavi's journal)~
message 6451:
by
kavi ~he-him~
(new)
May 17, 2017 07:55PM
I don't date or go out with someone I barely know or someone I just met, I have to really get to know that person before going out with them. I don't want to get hurt
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I'm not the type of person that just goes for someone just because of their looks. I go for their personalities
Plus I'm in love with Jon, and HE is the only guy for me. I can be friends with that guy but that's it. Jonathan and Jonathan only. no one else.
that guy does love anime tho but so does Jon
lol most of the time while that guy was there, I was just by Jon's side, he left tho so
I don't even know that guy's name XD
8:25 and my bus STILL isn't here yet
blue wrote: "wow ur bus comes so late"Usually my bus is early in the mornings but today it just came late
I feel kind of depressed today for some reason idk why
I don't feel like eating lunch today....
I kinda feel the same way. I still feel mad. It could just be lingering from yesterday, but I don't think so. I don't think this is over yet....
❄️Princess Kavy of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "I feel kind of depressed today for some reason idk why"Oh, and also, I hope you figure out why and fix it. Being depressed sucks.
I love food don't get me wrong. But there are times when I'm not in the mood to eat....
Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: "❄️Princess Kavy of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "I feel kind of depressed today for some reason idk why"Oh, and also, I hope you figure out why and fix..."
Depression sucks
And when I'm in that mood I either force myself to eat because of the other ppl or I don't eat
I hate depression and anxiety but at the same time I'm used to these feelings....
Like I'm so used to it that I don't even know what true happiness feels like. And happiness scares me because it's something that I'm not used to it's something that's foreign to me.
Ugh stupid depression. I could be doing good for a while like better than I was doing before. And then I'll relapse and fall and everything crashes even more than before
And my mom scheduled a meeting with a psychologist in three weeks >.<
❄️Princess Kavy of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "Ugh stupid depression. I could be doing good for a while like better than I was doing before. And then I'll relapse and fall and everything crashes even more than before"Happens to me all the time. I had to find a reason to pull myself out. I did. It was my love for Emily that gave me the will to live and get better.
I have reasons to stay alive. The only reasons keeping me alive:Jonathan
Goodreads
My friends on Goodreads
My friends irl
Music
My fav bands/singers
Books
Anime
My future dreams
They are the things that motivate me to keep going
But the thing is....with depression and anxiety it's just hard I'd been in depression for a while now. Sometimes pain/depression/things don't always go away. You just learn to live with it. I'm used to it
Yeah. It sucks, but it's the truth.
Why? Why me? Why all the most nicest and kind ppl? Why all the amazing ppl? Why us? Why do we have to go through so much stuff?
What did we ever do to deserve this stuff?
What did we ever do to deserve this much pain?
I don't think we did do anything. I think it's luck of the draw. And the people here just got really bad luck.
Yeah....I know everyone goes through pain at some point in their lives
There are some ppl that goes through way more pain. Some ppl go through pain most of their lives
And they grow from it. It sucks, but sometimes pain is necessary. When you have a wound, doctors will prescribe enough medication to dull it, so they can use the pain as a measurement of how well it's healing. Sometimes, we need the pain to appreciate what's right in front of us. And then, just when you're about to break, you become steel, and break through it. And jeez, at that point, you're untouchable. I'm working toward that. I will never ever bow down again. No matter how bad it seems, I will limp on, middle finger raised to the sky, challenging the world to bring on more. Because I'm done with this. And I will help my beloved friend-family through their own.
Question is Hell a bad word or does it depend on the way you use the word?
❄️Princess Kavy of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "Question is Hell a bad word or does it depend on the way you use the word?"Depends.
❄️Princess Kavy of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "Thank you Sirius"Yeah.
Wow my bus came early for once O_O
that guy that I met yesterday tho O_O
also yesterday, that guy that was there in anime club yesterday, the guy that I was talking about yesterday, his friend asked us all what anime character we'd be and then I turned to Jon and asked him who I'd be and he said he didn't know and then that guy's friend said that I'd be Erza Scarlet from Fairy Tail
and it reminded me of something, I was remembering stuff and I turned to Jon, because last year the way he asked me out
he said. "What if..I said I'd be interested in being your Jellal?" and I said, "Yes to I'd be your Erza"
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
Every Day (other topics)If I Was Your Girl (other topics)
If I Was Your Girl (other topics)
City of Lost Souls (other topics)
Leah on the Offbeat (other topics)
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