~the sea does not like to be restrained (Kavi's journal)~ Showing 6,051-6,100 of 20,355

[kavi ~he-him~]

Other than my friends on GR and music

[kavi ~he-him~]

But ever since Jon came into my life

[kavi ~he-him~]

It's been like....

[kavi ~he-him~]

Idk how to say it

[kavi ~he-him~]

But it's like he's my world my everything

[kavi ~he-him~]

It scares me....

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

Just.... Trust in time. All good things happen to those who put out good in the world. Karma. I've just started being a good person, and I'm.... happier. Interestingly enough, though it's hard sometimes.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Thanks. I'm a good person. But I do have bad things that happen to me. And it's hard being nice and kind especially when ppl take advantage of the kindness and hurt me I have been hurt more than once

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

Look, I'm obsessed with Em to the point where (I swear to god I'm not a stalker; I don't mean this to be creepy to anyone) I know what she smells like. And sounds like. And, I know her. Like I knew how she would react when I asked her out. I know who she is. And..... She's the reason I started being a good person. I'm content just to be around her, which is why I'm not taking the fact that we're still friends for granted. It's good enough. And, if he loves you, he'll come to you about it. Just like I came to Em. And it'll be perfect. Just wait. And trust. If there really is a force out there controlling what happens, you're the kind of person who deserves a break like this.

[kavi ~he-him~]

My heart is still broken and shattered from 3 years ago from when my ex-friend hurt me really badly.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I have trust issues

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

❄️Princess Kavy of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "Thanks. I'm a good person. But I do have bad things that happen to me. And it's hard being nice and kind especially when ppl take advantage of the kindness and hurt me I have been hurt more than once"

That's part of life. I don't really respect my family, but one thing my mom told me has stuck with me for the past years:
Life doesn't get better. We do.

Just like I'm not gonna let things get awkward between Em and I. If I hide from the problem, it'll never be resolved. So I stopped avoiding her. And we're good friends still.

[kavi ~he-him~]

The only person here that I trust is Jon. I trust some of my friends on GR but even if I do trust someone I have to keep a watch on them with the fear that they'll leave.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

Because everyone always leaves me eventually....they get tired of me and replace me after a while

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

I don't trust anyone, so I can tell you (though I'm sure you already know) the lonely road is a hard one to walk down. I only just started opening myself up to, and relying on, my friends. My walls were unbreakable. But, I decided to give it a shot. And it turned out really good.

[[deleted user]]

Well, then no need to worry about me, Sirius, Jac, Cyn, Blue, Nerdy, Jonathan (Michael) and so on....

[kavi ~he-him~]

It scares me now....I don't want to get hurt again.....I'm not prepared.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

I don't wanna feel anymore pain. I don't wanna deal with the demons in my head because I'm scared of them. Sometimes I get so tired of fighting and trying because I'd been fighting my battles for so long. But I have to keep fighting so I keep fighting because I came this far. I'd been through so much just to get here.

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

❄️Princess Kavy of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "I don't wanna feel anymore pain. I don't wanna deal with the demons in my head because I'm scared of them. Sometimes I get so tired of fighting and trying because I'd been fighting my battles for s..."

We're here to help you through those battles. Let us play support and medic. I don't know if you'll get these references, but we'll be your Mercy, or Ana, or Torbjorn.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Thanks guys....

[kavi ~he-him~]

The problem now is college I want to go to college but I wonder what college will be like

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

❄️Princess Kavy of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "Thanks guys...."

Hey, that's what friends are for. I've spent the last five years trying to figure out why I care so much about my friends, and it's this; There's too much unhappiness in the world. If I can be a beacon for everyone, to help them be happy and enjoy life, one day at a time, then my role is fulfilled, and I am worth being friends with.

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

❄️Princess Kavy of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "The problem now is college I want to go to college but I wonder what college will be like"

A new frontier for you to explore and make the most of (hopefully....).

[[deleted user]]

❄️Princess Kavy of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "The problem now is college I want to go to college but I wonder what college will be like"

Its going to be a great experience, Kavy....

[kavi ~he-him~]

New ppl new life new things. I'm not afraid of change. I'm afraid of things being the same as it was now or in the past.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

The graduation ceremony is on June 10th, so why do I have to pick up my diploma on June 12th?

[kavi ~he-him~]

What if I trip while I'm walking across the stage? o_O

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

You won't unless you overthink. I know it's easier said than done, and it took me three years to pull it off, but just stop caring what people think.

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'll try....

[kavi ~he-him~]

sorry guys sorry Javya Shippers you're probably gonna hate me for this.....but we only have a few more weeks of school and me and Jon are gonna be separated for months or maybe more. And I love Jonathan but these choices are probably some of the things that I might have to do

[kavi ~he-him~]

I know we are meant to be like my gut feelings says and we'll eventually come back together

[kavi ~he-him~]

Also we're gonna be going to the same University

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

Ah. So you know what? You'll be like, the only person he knows there. You'll grow even closer together. It's a great opportunity :)

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

Always switch your perspective if things look bad.

[kavi ~he-him~]

So these are the choices that I might have to do:

I can let him go but keep our friendship and then we can go and do our own things and then in the future we'll meet again we'll meet after 6 months or maybe more

Or

I can wait for him, at least until we meet again in the future

Or

I can just tell him soon and get it over with

[kavi ~he-him~]

I feel the first choice is probably the right choice

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

It's your decision. We can advise you, but this is a call you should make on your own. Listen to your gut.

[[deleted user]]

I feel it should be less than 6 months though

[kavi ~he-him~]

Because I know we are meant to be but I can't keep tearing my mind apart for him. I've got things that i need to do

[kavi ~he-him~]

Sorry Javya shippers

[kavi ~he-him~]

I love Jonathan and I will always love him and we are still friends and our friendship will still be there

[kavi ~he-him~]

But this is the best thing to do

[kavi ~he-him~]

But the problem is letting him go

[kavi ~he-him~]

I've tried letting him go before it didn't work

[kavi ~he-him~]

But I have to try again besides I want him to be happy because I'm in love with him and I care for him a lot

[kavi ~he-him~]

Paramore came out with a new album

[kavi ~he-him~]

I can't wait for the new Bvb and Atl and SWS albums to come out

[kavi ~he-him~]

I am home

[kavi ~he-him~]

which means

[kavi ~he-him~]

ANIME TIME!!!