~the sea does not like to be restrained (Kavi's journal)~ Showing 5,351-5,400 of 20,355

[Hallie]

I understand you. My phone is dying and my dad has the charger at his office -_-

[kavi ~he-him~]

that sucks but I don't have my phone with me at all. I'm on the school computer rn, I have to get through this whole day without my phone and music and bvb :(

[kavi ~he-him~]

I. need. bvb.

[kavi ~he-him~]

good thing I have my book with me....

[kavi ~he-him~]

wow, my school didn't block GR or twitter but they blocked the other social medias XD

[kavi ~he-him~]

also I won't be on much today because I don't have my phone with me

[kavi ~he-him~]

*sighs*....wishing I had my phone with me.....

[kavi ~he-him~]

I found a Black Veil Brides fanfiction site where you can write/read fanfictions dedicated to Black veil Brides

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

Yeah, my school doesn't have it blocked either. They have Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and all them blocked, though. Most schools think GRDS is a book site..... Which technically it is.

[kavi ~he-him~]

And I'd been reading BVB fanfics lately

[kavi ~he-him~]

I gtg I'll see y'all after school I love y'all

[kavi ~he-him~]

I. AM. HOME. AND. I. MANAGED. TO. SURVIVE. THE. WHOLE. DAY. WITHOUT. MY. PHONE.

[kavi ~he-him~]

so I got things to talk about

[kavi ~he-him~]

at lunch Jonathan had his eyes close and it looked like he was thinking and then I just threw my food at him, XD and he just looked down and was like, "why?" XD

[kavi ~he-him~]

And then Alana accidentally knocked my cookie out of my hands'

Alana: oh no!! I"m so sorry
Annette: You killed Kavya's husband! (cause I wanted to marry the cookie the other day but I ate it)
Me: Yeah, my future husband *raises the cookie* XD
Jon: just throw the cookie on the ground and then stomp on it
Me: *walks over to Jon and tries to take his lunch box from him*
Jon: try and take it from me
Me: *trying to take his lunch box from him but his grip is strong*
then afterwards before I left:
Me: Just pick up Jon and throw him off the railing
Jon: oh goodness XD

[kavi ~he-him~]

and after school I saw my friend, H, (I'm calling him H because his name is hard to pronounce) from anime club and then I walked over to him and we just started talking, and he asked me this

[kavi ~he-him~]

H: Hey I gotta ask you something
Me: *nods*
H: Do you have a boyfriend or anything?
Me: no *blushing because I was thinking about Jon*
H: Me neither. I've had like 5 girls left me.
Me: Yeah I only had one boyfriend
H: Hey, do you think, maybe *gestures from him to me and back*
Me: well....idk...I'm actually in love with someone
H: well, yeah me too, I'm in love with someone too
Me: well I think you might know this person don't tell him
H: don't worry your secret is safe with me, as long as you keep my secret too
Me: it's someone from anime club, don't tell him
H: don't worry your secret is safe with me
Me: this love that I feel for him, isn't the kind of love that dies, it's the kind of love that just lasts forever
H: don't worry I know what you mean

[kavi ~he-him~]

Me: I'm actually thinking of telling him soon tho, I just don't know how to. tho I might make some art for him.
H: Yeah, that might work too, but here's how you can tell him, my mom told me somethings about when you find that special someone, when you meet that special someone, you need to get know him, see what you have in common, and be his friend first for either a week or a month or a year and just get to know him
Me: tho, I'd been friends with this guy for more than a year and less than two years
H: oh, well then I guess you can just ask him to go to your fav food place or whatever and you can talk
Me: if my parents would let me, I have overprotective parents
H: I wish you luck

[kavi ~he-him~]

I can feel an invisible thread trying to pull me back to Jon

[kavi ~he-him~]

I think love or the universe is trying to work its magic or doing whatever it could to get me and Jon back together

[kavi ~he-him~]

Also I forgot I wrote a poem expressing my love to Jonathan yesterday

[kavi ~he-him~]

Wait I forgot the new Album for Grayscale comes out today

[kavi ~he-him~]

Also last night I had a dream that someone I used to have a crush on kissed me O_O but I didn't kiss him back. I don't have a crush on him anymore because I was in love with Jon

[kavi ~he-him~]

Question:

Is there is difference between loving someone or being in love with someone? If so what's the difference?

[kavi ~he-him~]

Well I'm in love with Jonathan. Even tho I probably said this a million times

[kavi ~he-him~]

I'm in love with him and the thing is

[kavi ~he-him~]

I love him and I want to be with him but at the same time I want him to be happy I don't want to force him to love me or force him to be with me. I just want him to be happy

[kavi ~he-him~]

Even if it's not with me

[kavi ~he-him~]

That is what true love is. Putting the others happiness before you. Putting their needs before you

[kavi ~he-him~]

Caring about the other person's happiness even if it's not with you even if it breaks your heart. You're still gonna be doing whatever you could to make the other person happy because you love and care for them

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

I agree.

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

I never asked, how was your hiatus?

[kavi ~he-him~]

Sirius (Malakalato) Kaldwin wrote: "I never asked, how was your hiatus?"

It was hard because of my GR addiction XD

[kavi ~he-him~]

Also me and Jonathan, the friendship between us. We're like really good friends idk if we're best friends or not.

[kavi ~he-him~]

But the friendship love is strong

[kavi ~he-him~]

Friendship love is important because the bond between the friendship is really strong and can last forever

[kavi ~he-him~]

Only if it's with true friends tho

[kavi ~he-him~]

But the romantic love can fade easily it can crumble

[kavi ~he-him~]

For the romantic love to last you have to be friends with the person you have to get to know him see if you two have anything in common see if he's the right person. Don't just jump into a relationship right away just after meeting them that'll only get you hurt. But wait for a while until you really get to know them

[kavi ~he-him~]

Because you never really know who the person really is behind their masks. Unless you really get to know them

[kavi ~he-him~]

Even if it's the special person. Wait until you really get to know him before jumping into the relationship be his friend first because that is really important

[[deleted user]]

But you know exactly who Jonathan is behind the mask, he's Jonathan.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Also don't force it don't force ppl into falling in love with you or being with you and don't force yourself into falling in love with someone else because it doesn't work that way. You're only gonna get hurt

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

Yeah.......

[kavi ~he-him~]

Just wait, if you have to force yourself into falling in love with someone or force them into falling in love with you. Then that's not love.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Idk how I know all this stuff because I only dated once and that one relationship only lasted a month but it was with the person that I really love and I was truly in love with, that person was Jonathan and I never dated anyone before him

[kavi ~he-him~]

But I've read books, I know their "just books" or "just fiction" but I've learned a lot from them

[Sirius (Malakalato) Belacqua]

❄️Small beans (Kavy/Kavya) of BVBarmy/Books/Music ❄️~Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me~ wrote: "But I've read books, I know their "just books" or "just fiction" but I've learned a lot from them"

Exactly. I've never dated, but I've fallen in love twice now, and from comparisons to other crushes, I can see the difference.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Trey wrote: "But you know exactly who Jonathan is behind the mask, he's Jonathan."

Yeah, that's because I've gotten to know him I've been his friend first. I've gotten to know the person behind the mask and he's gotten to know me. And I'd never paid any attention to his looks just his personality.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Jonathan was the first real person that I've fallen in love with. I say real person because I've fallen in love with fictional characters aka ppl that don't exist XD